Elaeocarpus ganitrus = Rudraksha

Elaeocarpus ganitrus = Rudraksha/bead = tear. of rage.

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Vergleich: Siehe: Oxydales

[Chetna N. Shukla]

“ The lord of the universe drew his bow and unleashed his arrows at the triple city, burning demons and hurling them into the western ocean, for the welfare of creation. Then the three-eyed God restrained the fire born of his anger, saying to it: “Enough! Do not reduce the world to ash!”

The Mahabharata (circa 300 B.C.)

Special note on proving:

was a new entry and I did not know much about her but in the proving she had “For the first time (I) had a disagreement with my sister in law regarding my marriage issue”. P4 was getting married in Dec 1996 and it was an arranged marriage according to customs. P5 was forced to marry her first cousin against her wishes according to family traditions.

About the Rudraksha/ Ustram bead…

The ascetic followers of Shiva have given the bead its name, Rudraksha. Rudra is another name for Shiva, and his devotees believe the Rudraksha bead is the tear of rage that fell from Rudra’s eye as he beheld the effrontery of mankind. Legend says the destroyer wept when he witnessed the towering metropolis or triple city created by man’s superbly ambitious technology. In its arrogance, this magnificent human creation had undermined the balance between earth, the atmosphere, and the sky. Then, according to the Mahabharata, having shed the implacable tear, which turned into an ustram bead, the Lord of the Universe, unleashed its arrows at the triple city for the welfare of creation.

Substance used: The whole fruit with the bead freshly plucked from the tree in December 1995 from the foothills of the Himalayas (Haridwar)

Provers: 1 ♂ and 4 ♀ provers

The Quest and the Question!

My quest for satisfying aphorism 3 of our Hahnemann’s Organon has been inspiring me in this endeavour of mine of conducting so many proving. But the question is also

“Did the conductor of the proving modify the original text of this happening?”

“Did she corrupt the words spoken?”

Therefore I have given the proving verbatim and in the sequence as it unfolded itself (in its individual way) at that particular time. I have selected this prover as he represents best the Quintessence if this substance. Even the Repertory has been in the exact words of the provers.

‘Words have their own magic and their magnetism.

Each word creates its own sequence.

And each sequence creates its own magic.

Words begin to get alive in their own way when in a sequence, and they go on and on…

A word may mean something on its own, but its significance changes in the sequence!’

“Therefore I feel why not receive the words as it is, as a whole, and alive?”

In this way I am trying to nearly wholly resort to a holistic approach! I have refrained from the temptation of making any associations between the proving and the outwardly observed behaviour and disposition of any of these co-habitants in their eco-niche. I leave that to the readers. But to get an extended idea of a substance, and to be able to find coherence in different fields of information and the projection in human beings about the substance under examination I have also given information about the substances that go to make our remedies. This helps us link the microcosm with the macrocosm.

The pattern:

All subjects that the Rudraksha chose to express itself through had one theme surrounding ‘marriage’. P2 was in love with a boy from the lower caste and the family disagreed to this alliance as it was against customs. P3 was a new entry and I did not know much about her but in the proving she had “For the first time (I) had a disagreement with my sister in law regarding my marriage issue”.

P4 was getting married in Dec 1996 and it was an arranged marriage according to customs. P5 was forced to marry her first cousin against her wishes according to family traditions.

PROVER 1 ♂

(I have known him very closely. Sometime back he had a major emotional setback - a break in his love affair, the reason being family customs and traditional fixities. He was successfully coming out of it, getting in tune with the outside and his inside. He was always eager to do proving. I told him to feel the remedy and follow his feelings in the same. He took the dose. I trust in this way of dealing with feeling. Without this prover this proving would have definitely lacked something I feel. In defense of giving importance to his proving experience I would like to quote Hahnemann from Organon § 126…

“(H)is body must be in what is for him a good state of health, and he must possess a sufficient amount of intelligence to be able to express and describe his sensations in accurate terms.”

Who else, but the prover him/herself, would best know what is for him/her a good state of health; that is of course only for him/her to feel!)

1^st MEETING

I took the dose three days after you gave it to me. From the time I took it from you I had no fear. It was as if I knew that it would have a good effect on me. I was cool and sure of myself. I felt positive. I am laughing more often and not nervous. I am talking and saying whatever I feel without dictating, listening to others without feeling overwhelmed by their point of view. I am not indecisive. I am sure. I feel at ease. I feel I can take on anything.

I feel quiet o.k. at home and otherwise about all things. I have a lot of problems at home, everyone is angry, but I feel cool now! (Smiles pleasantly) everyone is losing control and all are angry but I am not. I am cool, at ease.

I don’t even have to exert any control. It is easy! (Normally I feel angry but I suppress. I feel something is cutting me in the inside me. I feel they are doing this to me and that to me…) Now I am at ease!

And that day I also spoke what I felt. Why let it go out of my hand, feel afraid of telling the feelings. My sister in law whom I told also took everything in the right spirits too! It was a relaxed atmosphere. It was acceptance.

I say, “it happens”, “cool”, “relax” often! I feel this scene was like a smooth wave, no turbulence, cool and I also feel like this. I don’t get anxious and hyper about anything.

Normally every time I have a drink (alcohol) I get bad dreams but now in the proving after booze I do not get bad dreams. Now I also smoke in front of others. Let the world know that I smoke. Why hide and do it? I am this and smoking does not make me a bad man! I am also having sexual dreams-not about having sex.

I feel this is a very “understanding” remedy! All things are falling in place for me in my life. I don’t have to run around, get anxious, and get tensed. Before the proving I was feeling how would I, how can I take it (with personal break up with girl friend)? But now it is as if this feeling is just not there. I am at peace with myself, no conflict at all.

I feel everyone should get along well and I am actually working towards it at home with all the family members. I have a sister in law with whom I have not talked since the last 5 years, no eye contact. Now the conversation is easy, smooth and natural.

And yes!

One dream…

* I am working in the hospital. It is as if it is very real. There is a patient, a little girl with circulatory disorder. She has white eyeballs. I say the diagnosis is ‘Retinitis Pigmentosa’ and the doctor says no it is

‘Vancouver’s disease’ and is laughing while the patient is very serious.

In the inside I feel all the time ‘do whatever makes you comfortable’. Once you are comfortable with yourself everything around you is. It is not a selfish attitude.

Another dreams…

* I see my friend is trying to light a match with friction against a marble.

* I see my motorbike. The red pipe (of the petrol) is cut. I don’t know why and who did it? I get a lot of sexual dreams. I also dream…

* That you are asking me to watch a movie-a sexual one. And you insist that I watch it (laughs!)

Twice I went to the beach. I feel like going there everyday especially in the mornings. Clothes I don’t mind whatever I wear it does not matter. Casual wear, casual look whatever it does not matter.

The feeling is everyone knows me how I am. What I am. I don’t need to make any impression on anyone. I have no restrictions, just cool, and no retaliation, in flow with whatever is happening.

But I want things neat and clean.

I have no violent anger, but I feel cool. I am not indifferent. I feel that I can work out things my way, not dictating. I know I can do it I can get it done. If you are there and you co-operate with me I will work with you, if don’t I will do it alone. I don’t create hassles and want no hassles and problems. I can get things done in a nice manner without deceiving or domination. I know what I want and what

I can get.

If this remedy were not there, the trauma that I was going through in the inside, I would have allowed myself to be shattered by booze and smoke. This remedy has soothed me! I feel cool. I can accept the events of life. It is because with the remedy I am feeling one with myself. No conflicts within me. Things and events in life happen, one must accept, some things must be left to destiny. I really feel this deep inside me. It is not just to pacify me that I say this. I feel good with myself, with the people around me, with the world.

It is not that I feel like a ‘sadhu’, nor like a ‘sanyasi’. It is not that I feel like someone who has renounced the world, not escape from the world. I am in the world and working with it, working it out, facing it with understanding!

I had read a phrase…

“Spring waters coming through the rocks, flowing smoothly!”

…I feel like that!

Yogi! Yes a yogi kind of feeling, not a sanyasi, not an escapist. ‘Yoga’ is from ‘Yuj’ tat means in union/ to join with the supreme. I feel nearest to such a state. I feel tolerant.

(He paused for a while…it was as if he was lost somewhere. On coming back to and with us, he said…)

When I say yogi my imaginations take me to the Himalayas, cool atmosphere, feeling cool from within…! (closing his eyes and smiling)

(Suddenly the serenity was gone and he said…)

I have frequency of stools after food!

I feel everyone should take this remedy, everyone will than behave nicely, so no hassles and life is good.

Thirst for cold water, 3 - 4 liters a day.

I feel like touching, patting children and giving them a nurturing touch (to my nephews and nieces) I feel I have something special than will help others, that will make peace. I can relate well without shouting at them.

I got the remedy at the right time. I am able to live the philosophy with ease, it is happening on its own. It is spiritual attitude like a yogi. Not running away from life of a homemaker but in connection with the higher self, the Supreme Being at the same time! (With raised eyebrows and a smile on his face!)

I have sexual urges, the needs and I don’t want to go wrong and having them is not wrong. Finding a balance between living with the needs of being a human being at the physical level and at the spiritual level. Before the proving I did not want to get married because of the previous disappointment and I had suppressed myself although I knew the needs were there. Now I feel free. I have freed myself. I can accept myself and move ahead trusting the ways of the Supreme Being. And now I agreed to get into marriage. I am ready for a moving. I was stuck with one thing for the whole life I am freeing myself. I am open now without any conflict. Now I feel I will be able to work towards another relationship!

This conflict of sexuality and spirituality is not there. There is now harmony. I know who ever I will marry it will be good!

2^nd MEETING

This guy, my friend a pure vegetarian (implying that he was not even eating mutton, he would have never touched alcohol) was in love with girl from a different community. She said a no for marriage. After this he got into alcohol, smoking started eating non-vegetarian food, stopped laughing and was ruining his life. I met him the other day and told him that …

“You cannot die for someone! She cannot marry you she has her own reasons. Life has to go on. All relationships need not end in marriage. You must free yourself!’ This friend was too much into it.

One cannot die for someone. ‘Your parents took care of you for 25 years. When they will die, will you die for them?’ ‘You cannot die for someone, come out of it, free yourself, you are not letting

yourself go, free your self.”

I have been freed. All this while I was not able to talk to my father, not see him in his eyes. I used to feel irritated with him around. He is perfect in his business. But now I can even fool around in front of him. I don’t feel

that he will feel that I am putting on a show. Now I am cool.

Before the proving I wanted to ask my physician whether I can prove or not? But later I felt how can the physician tell me how I feel from inside? Only I know that I am feeling well or not! I kept the dose with me to feel whether I feel well, whether I really want to take it or not? It was not indecisiveness, but to feel whether it was the right time to prove this for me. And I felt just right!

A friend offended me in the past and he came over. But I said nothing, and behaved very much at ease and also made him feel at ease. This problem of relationships and marriage are being solved, there are no conflicts, are eased. The feelings in the conscious are not in conflict with the unconscious.

Yesterday we had planned to go out with my friends (before the proving). I wanted to sit with booze the whole day (that is what we had planned). But somehow all the friends had some work or the other. I had confidence that now I won’t drink. I thought, “Oh, what a thought to drown oneself in booze” Instead I took my cousin out for shopping. I felt very tired. I came home and slept for 2 hours. I felt the remedy is really helping me. It is like a friend close to my head. I have a good feeling with it. It is not control; it is a feeling of feeling just right. The feeling is that the higher intelligence, destiny, or the Supreme wants it like this, whatever happened is right!

It is not that anything is going out of control but it was meant to be like this.

I saw the poster of ‘Last Supper’ and I felt good. I always wanted the poster. Jesus, Sai Baba are nice people connecting you to God, help people to connect to God, although they are not God. I have this ‘Yogi’ feeling - you harmonize the whole thing. No one feels ill in the company of these people.

I don’t know despite this feeling why I feel like smoke and alcohol?! I think this is because of my past life, my past experiences. If this proving had not happened I would have devastated my life because of this grief!

My brother, sisters don’t smoke, or booze. I used to feel don’t deny yourself this. I used to dream bad after drinking but now I don’t dream badly. This means that I have not been suppressing. I am being helped by this remedy to find a way through the booze, smoke and the grief.

This control, embarrassment, low feeling, and guilt…I am free and away from all of them! I have not suppressed it; in fact I am freeing others and myself so that all is in harmony. I feel like reading the Baghwad Geeta and the Upanishads, and yes when I read these days my mind does not wander anymore. I can concentrate deep into words.

I feel like a ‘spiritual experience’ in this proving, like a yogi as I told you before! It is like as if I am sitting on a mountain-the Himalayas, with clear substance flowing around. I feel the substance is from the Himalayas, a plant, it is from somewhere around that place.

I feel cool like how you feel when you are between mountains with water flowing around over the rocks and you feel the cool water. I feel it is something close to the Supreme and so I am feeling so close to the Supreme Being.

I feel very nice.

I believe in Lord Krishna, and read a lot about him, his teachings. I feel in connection with a Supreme who is soft, does not harm anyone, and gives you strength, no arrogance. I don’t know how

to describe…

C: Can you close your eyes and imagine what and how it is? Do not think and don’t judge or criticize what is coming up, just let it flow… (so he closes his eyes to feel)

…(T)his Supreme is deep within me in myself, inside my soul. It is the God within oneself. When I let myself flow I feel it is I, within me with no physical form. It is close to me, this energy within me, inside of me. I feel comfortable with me with the outside. I don’t fear what will happen if this proving gets over? I feel confident. I feel like a spiritual person who can do no wrong.

This time I went to vote normally I don’t vote. I felt I don’t want wrong kind of people at a position. My vote counts so I voted. Everyone is corrupt at least get someone who is the least!

3rd MEETING

This remedy makes me eat a lot. (Smiles)

After the last discussion I was working with the notes of the proving and the word that came to my mind was ‘Bliss’. I feel blissful! Yes, that is the feeling with this remedy, a heavenly feeling as if in close connection with God and his ways!

I had dreams…

* I am searching for the car keys and could not find them. I feel if I don’t find them things will go wrong.

* I see a wall and there is a big gap in the wall. I feel it must be covered. But I decide to have grills instead so that it gives an open feeling.

I feel exhausted after singing. I started vocal singing lessons. After the lessons I feel exhausted and feel like I want to sleep, sleep and sleep. But than once I am awake I am up and about-refreshed.

Last week I had headache- splitting at 21 h., which was better by holding the head tight from both the sides. I could not lie down, as I felt uncomfortable. But after I slept I woke up well. In this night

I had a dream…

* I was going fast on my motorbike, and at the signal there is a lot of traffic so I start to ride the bike on the footpath on the sides. I see another fellow on the bike being caught doing like this.

I saw this and I change my path and escape.

I had another dream in the same night…

* We are standing at the railway station and my cousin wants to get friendly to someone but I don’t feel like. My cousin approaches someone but he puts him to floor as if assaulting him. I don’t know what to do so I hit him with a stick in the head to save my cousin. Than I see a train coming on the tracks and it dashes against a huge column that splits into two. I leave this train. I take another one. In this train there are some huge guys who are collecting money forcefully from others. I see them and I decide that whatever happens I will not give them money. I won’t yield to their pressure.

* I see a wedding card. It was my wedding card. It was a big book and pompously done. I say no I want a simple card.

* I see a man pinching me and I bite into his ear. I feel his relatives are watching me.

I have started reading the Bhagwad Geeta. I feel free from the cares of the world. I understand and accepting the facts of life. I feel clothes don’t matter it is the inside of the person that matters. I wanted to be what I am, not what the society wants me to be, being true to oneself, not selfish, not against the society but being natural. Once you are true to yourself you are true to the world.

I feel happy doing this proving . I can get over things easily. I am back to normal but with a change for the better. Is it the Bael, or is it the Rudraksh?

Yes normally I used to dream of running away from the police but now I don’t! I don’t feel like booze and smoke too.

Rudraksha’s quintessence is best described in the words of this prover as “I am in the world and working with it, working it out, facing it with understanding! It is like “Spring waters coming through

the rocks, flowing smoothly!”. It is about uniting (Yuj) with the Supreme within you!

Repertory:

Mind: Acceptance – of all/of destiny/of (past) life events/traditions (woman should not work)

Anger violent ©

Anxiety (finishing of work ©/of others health/what others will think ©)/Fear of death ©

Arrange things in the house desires it

Assertive – of oneself/of one’s opinion

Attitude – spiritual/open without conflicts/with harmony in life/everything is o.k./accepting everyone as they are/”As if nothing affects/touches me”/true to oneself

Austerity (absent)

Blissful

Brooding ©

Bothered least feeling

Calmness

Clothes simple desire

Compulsions absent (to go outdoors/about austerity food)

Confidence increased (driving/swimming)

Conscientious

Cool feeling

Concentration active

Conflicts absent – between spiritual-sexual self/between feelings-actions/between society pressures and own desires

Content

Courteous

Decisions making easy

Delusion - conflict/split spiritual and sexual side of oneself/conflict unconscious and conscious self absent/consciousness in higher state/energy special flowing in him/energy supreme within/life flowing in natural ease/

(supreme) connection with god/harmony with all/has hurt people/one with oneself/is a saint/as if he is a yogi

Destiny ours in our hand is

Ease - in relationships/everything is ‘just right’/suppressing emotions no more

Estranged - feeling ©/in company ©

Free - from embarrassment/from guilt/from low feeling

Flowing life seems

Give unwanted things away

Grudges absent past offences of

Heavenly feeling

Home desire to stay

Impatient about time

Impatience cannot wait for (train, bus)

Indolence ©

Industrious

Irritability ©

Laughing

Laziness ©

Love – for children (pat them)/nurture them

Memory weak (faces of people)

Music aversion to

Nervous ©

Offended easily

Positiveness (can take on anything)

Organized

Quiet desire

Read – desires to [religious scriptures desire to (Bhagwad Geeta)]/

Relaxed feeling

Religious scriptures read desire to (Bhagwad Geeta)

Responsibility conscious of

Restless ©

Rituals gave up

Simple dressing in

Sociable (with strangers)

Spiritual feelings

Sympathetic

Sulk ©

Tolerant/ce

Traditional desire to be

Understanding deep life of

Water/beach go to desire

Work desire to

Work capacity to increased

Write letters desire to

Yielding ©

Dreams: Air jump in (defying gravity)/air travel (U.S. via Bangkok)/college campus/cousin bashed up/petrol pipe of bike is/death of mother (must go on with life)/disease (lung abscess/retinitis pigmentosa/vancouvers

Disease)/Driving a bike fast (ignoring a signal)/earthquake/elephants/film stars/friend (sitting like a deer/enjoying with/old/snatched being from me)/men (bullying/biting man in ear or pinches)/merry go round/

people day met during the/police/searching car keys/sexual/station railway/taxi driver leaving taxi/teacher reprimanding/train splitting pillar after running into it/truck on terrace/unremembered/gap in wall/

water sea/river/wedding (card being pompous/desires simple card/round about route taking to go to)

Head: pain occiput (21 h./< sun/throbbing/splitting/holding tight/> sleep)

Hair – fall/brittle

Face: Eruption acne red, big painful

Pain cheeks

Nose: Colds

Itching in the night

Discharge thick yellow

Throat: Voice husky

Stomach: Nausea 13 - 19 h.

Rectum: Urge frequent after eating

Urge ineffectual

Menses profuse flow

Sleep: desire to

Perspiration: absent

Generalities: Desires: Alcohol/cold water/Garlic/Spicy/Pickles/Sweets/Tobacco-smoking;

Exhaustion after singing

Vorwort/Suchen. Zeichen/Abkürzungen. Impressum.