Melatonin Anhang
x!y
[JJ Kleber]
In der größten Toxikologischen Datenbank Poisindex sind bei Dosen von 3 - 80 mg/d bei Kindern/bis zu 1000 mg/d bei Erwachsenen keine oder nur geringe
Nebenwirkungssymptome berichtet; Hübner berichtet über Depression bei 1,2g
Ab 100 mg / Tag wurden leichte Nebenwirkungen beobachtet
Bei Schlafstörungen wurden gegeben (0,1 - 0,6) - 5 - 6 mg (0,1 - 0,5 mg/d waren in einigen Studien ähnlich wirksam, wie 5 mg/d);
beste Einnahmezeit ist etwa 1 - 2 Stunde vor gewünschter Schlafzeit (aber vor 21 - 22 h. zur Normalisierung des zirkadianen Rhythmus). Zur Schlafregulierung wurden kurzzeitig bis zu 40 mg / Tag gegeben, als zusätzliche Therapie gegen Krebs für Monate Dosen von 1 - 40 mg/ Tag. Ab 100 mg / Tag wurden leichte Nebenwirkungen beobachtet.
Wirkung:
Besserung des gestörten Schlaf-Wachrhythmus für Spätschlafer mit „verzögertem Schlafphasensyndrom“ ist in Studien gesichert (Evidenz - Level A); gute Wirkung konnten Studien zeigen bei Altersschlaflosigkeit, Schlafstörungen ansonsten Gesunder und bei Schlafstörung von verhaltens- oder entwicklungsgestörten Kindern, wie in geringerem Maße bei Jet-Lag (Evidenz - Level B); bei Durchschlafstörungen zeigten sich Retardpräparate wirksamer, zur Schlafinduktion nicht retardierte Präparate;
niedrige Dosen von 1 mg oder sogar 0,3 - 05 mg waren gleich oder nur gering weniger wirksam, als 5 mg/d.
Auch eine Besserung von funktionellen Magen-Darmbeschwerden (Refluxösophagitis) war in Studien deutlich (Evidenz - Level B).
Andere positive Wirkungen sind nach der Studienlage möglich, aber nicht bewiesen
(Evidenz - Level C) wie: antientzündliche, alterspräventive, anxiolytische Wirkung; positive Wirkung auf Gedächtnis, Makuladegeneration; bei den Studien zur antikanzerogenen Wirkung von Melatonin
war die Wirkung positiv, es wurden aber auch antioxidative Vitamine angewandt und andere Krebstherapien (Bestrahlung, Interferon, Chemotherapie), so dass die Wirkung von Melatonin schlecht zu beurteilen ist.
Als antikanzerogene Eigenschaften zeigt Melatonin eine Modulation der Östrogen-Rezeptor-Expression, Unterdrückung des epidermalen Wachstumsfaktor-Rezeptors, Angiogenese Hemmung, Steigerung der Sekretion etlicher Zytokine und dadurch Steigerung der Tumorabwehr, Verminderung der Immunsupression bei Chemotherapie und Stress und Besserung von Tumorkachexie.
Frau Dr. Hübner: es hemmt im Laborversuchen das Zellwachstum hemmt, die Zelldifferenzierung und Apoptose induziert, die Metastasierung vermindert, Tumorzellen durch Behinderung der Linolensäureaufnahme und durch Tyrosinkinase-Hemmung schädigt; bestätigt eine Wachstumshemmung von hormonrezeptor-positiven Prostata-und Mamma-Karziniom-Zellen durch Melatonin und berichtet von Studien bei Bronchial-, Colon-, Leber-, Mamma-Karzinom, Melanom, Hirnmetastasen und anderen soliden Tumoren, bei denen die Melatoningabe einen positiven Einfluss hatte. Selbst in Kombination mit Chemotherapie hatte Melatonin in den Studien einen unterstützenden Effekt und reduzierte teilweise die Nebenwirkungen.
Auch wenn diese Erfolge wegen der oben genannten Multitherapie nicht sicher dem Melatonin zuzurechnen sind, ist die generelle Ablehnung von Melatonin in der Krebstherapie durch Frau Dr. Hübner nach meiner Meinung nicht zu rechtfertigen.
Nebenwirkungen:
In der größten Toxikologischen Datenbank Poisonindex sind bei Dosen von 3 - 80 mg/d bei Kindern und bis zu 1000 mg/d bei Erwachsenen keine oder nur geringe Nebenwirkungssymptome berichtet; Hübner berichtet über Depression bei 1,2g; als Nebenwirkung hoher Dosen und bei Gabe unter Tags wurden vor allem Müdigkeit beobachtet (kein Führen von Kraftfahrzeugen bis 5 Std. nach Einnahme,
selten Schwindel und Kopfschmerzen, Übelkeit, Blutdrucksenkung, erhöhte Erregbarkeit.
Unter besonderen Umständen wurde gefunden Verschlechterung eines bestehenden Diabetes, Blutgerinnungsstörungen bei antikoagulierten Patienten, Anstieg oder Abfall verschiedener Hormone (Oxytozin + Vasopressin, LH, FSH, Prolaktin, hGH, Östrogen, Progesteron, Kortison, T4 + T3); Melatonin erhöht die Aktivität von P450-Isoinzymen und kann dadurch den Abbau einiger Arzneimittel beschleunigen. Allergien sind möglich, und 1 Fall von Hepatitis nach Melatonin ist berichtete.
Kontraindiziert in der Schwangerschaft und Stillzeit wegen mangelnder Daten; nach Hübner sind weitere Kontraindikationen Autoimmunerkrankungen, Leberinsuffizienz, zerebrovaskuläre und neurologische Erkrankungen, Einnahme von Immunsupressiva, Kortikoiden und MAO-Hemmern; Natural Standard empfiehlt Melatonin nur unter Vorbehalt einzusetzen bei Patienten mit Krampfanfällen, herabgesetzter Blutgerinnung, antihypertensiver Behandlung, Diabetes, psychiatrischen Erkrankungen und bei Einnahme von Beruhigungsmitteln und Antikoagulantien oder Alkoholabusus und vorsichtshalber nicht bei Lymphomen.
Pharmakologie:
Sekretion steigt mit Einsetzen der Dunkelheit mit maximalen Werten nach Mitternacht (2 – 4 h.) und fällt dann wieder ab; bei oraler Gabe von Melatonin-Kapseln werden maximale Konzentrationen
1 - 1,5 Std. nach Einnahme erreicht (mit Konzentrationen wesentlich über der natürlichen Melatonin-Serum-Konzentration); die Bioverfügbarkeit wird angegeben mit 76%, oder 10 - 56% nach
enteraler Gabe wegen hohem First-Pass-Effekt. Melatonin ist sehr lipophil, passiert gut die Blut-Hirn-Schranke und wird auch transmukös gut aufgenommen. Es wird in der Leber zu dem inaktiven Metabolit 6-Sulphatoxy-Melatonin inaktiviert und als Glucuronid über die Galle ausgeschieden. Die physiologische Serum-HWZ beträgt 30 - 60 Minuten.
[Pharma Wiki]
Ein Hormon der Epiphyse (Zirbeldrüse) des Gehirns, das eine zentrale Rolle bei der Regulation des Schlaf-Wach-Rhythmus spielt. Es ist ein bekanntes Mittel zur Vorbeugung und Behandlung der Symptome eines Jetlags. Klinische Studien zeigen eine gute Wirksamkeit für dieses Anwendungsgebiet. Es ist in der Schweiz dazu bisher aber nicht zugelassen. Die Anwendung erfolgt auf eigenes
Risiko. Melatonin wurde in der Schweiz im Dezember 2009 zur Behandlung der Schlaflosigkeit bei Patienten ab 55 Jahren freigegeben und kam 2010 in den Handel. Zusätzlich sind
Melatonin-Rezeptor-Agonisten mit ähnlichen Eigenschaften verfügbar.
Synonym: Melatoninum, Dunkelheitshormon, N-Acetyl-5-methoxytryptamin, Schlafhormon
Produkte
Melatonin wurde in der Schweiz im Dezember 2009 als rezeptpflichtiges Arzneimittel unter dem Markennamen Circadin® (Retardtabletten) zur Behandlung von Schlafstörungen zugelassen. Zur Behandlung der Symptome eines Jetlags ist es nach wie vor nicht zugelassen. Es sollte dazu nicht über das Internet bestellt werden (Problem pharmazeutische Qualität). Es ist häufig am Reiseziel erhältlich, zum Beispiel als „Nahrungsergänzungsmittel“ wie etwa GNC Melatonin (USA). Auch dabei stellt sich je nach Destination die Frage nach der Produktequalität. Priorin LF® (früher: Asatex®) mit Melatonin war früher als kosmetisches Produkt zur äusserlichen Behandlung von Haarausfall im Verkauf und ist jetzt ausser Handel.
Struktur und Eigenschaften
Melatonin (C13H16N2O2, Mr = 232.3 g/mol) wird im Organismus aus Tryptophan und Serotonin gebildet. Chemisch handelt es sich um N-Acetyl-5-methoxytryptamin.
Wirkungen
Melatonin (ATC N05CH01 [Externer Link] ) hat schlaffördernde Eigenschaften und vermindert die Körpertemperatur. Physiologisch steigen die Melatoninspiegel im Blut nach Einbruch der Dunkelheit an, erreichen gegen Mitte der Nacht ihren Höhepunkt und entfalten eine schlaffördernde Wirkung. Licht ist der wichtigste natürliche Gegenspieler. Die Effekte beruhen auf der Bindung an MT1- und MT2-Rezeptoren im Hypothalamus, an der „inneren Uhr“ des Gehirns.
- „Melatonin is remarkably effective in preventing or reducing jet lag“
(Herxheimer et al., 2002).
Klinische Studien zeigen, dass Melatonin gegen die Symptome eines Jet-Lags gut wirksam ist, wenn es in einer Dosierung von 0.5 bis 5 mg abends vor dem Schlafengehen eingenommen wird (NNT: 2).
Es hilft besser, wenn mehrere Zeitzonen überquert werden und besser bei Flügen nach Osten. Zur äusserlichen Anwendung bei Haarausfall wurden kleine Studien durchgeführt (z.B. Fischer et al., 2004).
Indikationen und Anwendungsgebiete
Als Monotherapie für die kurzzeitige Behandlung der primären, durch schlechte Schlafqualität gekennzeichneten Insomnie bei Patienten ab 55 Jahren.
Melatonin ist in den folgenden Anwendungsgebieten in der Schweiz nicht als Arzneimittel zugelassen oder es sind keine entsprechenden Mittel im Handel:
Jetlag, vor allem bei der Überquerung mehrerer Zeitzonen Richtung Osten. Bei Reisen Richtung Osten ist der Effekt grösser, weil die Jetlag-Beschwerden dabei stärker sind.
Schichtarbeit
Winterdepression (saisonal-affektive Störung), Depression → siehe unter Agomelatin
Zur äusserlichen Behandlung von Haarausfall (Kosmetika).
Weitere Störungen des zirkadianen Rhythmus
Dosierung
Gemäss der Fachinformation. Beim Jetlag (keine Zulassung) ist der richtige Zeitpunkt der Einnahme wichtig. Die empfohlene Dosis beträgt 0.5 bis 5 mg Melatonin abends vor dem Schlafengehen für 2 bis 5 Tage nach der Ankunft. Melatonin soll nicht morgens oder tagsüber eingenommen werden, da es sonst Schläfrigkeit auslöst.
Kontraindikationen
Melatonin ist bei Überempfindlichkeit kontraindiziert. Es kann Schläfrigkeit verursachen. Daher ist das Arzneimittel mit Vorsicht anzuwenden, wenn die Auswirkungen von Schläfrigkeit ein Sicherheitsrisiko darstellen könnten. Die vollständigen Vorsichtsmassnahmen finden sich in der Arzneimittel-Fachinformation.
[Melanie Grimes] proving 2006
Mind: I’m feeling really good, like I can make any
decision I want now and can move forward in my life.
Prover 1, Day 2
Headache sensation has cleared, though still feeling physically heavy
and mentally extremely dull and slow. It’s like all thought processes have come
to a halt and there is nothing.
Prover 3, Day 1
Animals:
Found a neat store near the mall. A wild bird store. Stopped in for a
humming bird feeder. It is almost like a Discovery Store, chimes and
everything. There is a parrot who lives there; they were showing it to my
granddaughter.
Prover 2, Day 2
Remarked, stupid blue jay is flinging out all the bird seed.
Prover 2, Day 5
One of the cats comes and sits in my lap, purring like a train,
dribbling and being unusually affectionate. Stroking him, my hands feel
slightly desensitised, like the sense of touch is taking longer than normal to
register in my brain, as if there’s some energetic cotton wool between the
nerve endings and what they’re touching.
Prover 3, Day 1
Other cat comes and sits in my lap, but I’m restless.
Prover 3, Day 1
Wind:
I feel good the North wind invigorates me spiritually. (1/15/07) I did
an atunement with my spirituality person and she taught me how to do it.
Prover 2, Day 5
Hum:
Aware of all the hums of machinery – the external hard drive, the fans
in the computer, the boiler coming on, the fridge and freezer in the kitchen
which I would never normally be conscious of from my office. The machinery
noises are unpleasantly intrusive.
Prover 3, Day 1
Metaphysics:
This remedy’s focus seems to be more and more on the metaphysical. Along
with the merging and changing sensitivity of the physical senses, it's seeming
like the same thing is going on with the metaphysical senses. Its affinity for
the dream state also seems to apply to the meditational state. Meditations on
specific questions during the last week have been incredible. (Began these on
my visit to the US in the pre-proving phase and had surprisingly good results
working together with friend/instructor, but hadn’t tried any since getting
back – partly lack of time, partly thinking I’d find it far more difficult
working on my own.) The first attempt brought astounding results with
incredible ease. Without being aware of it -- just devised a technique because
it seemed the right thing to do in context -- I was using an advanced technique
that friend/instructor would not have introduced me to until I had far more
practice. The imagery seems extraordinarily close to the normal conscious
state, as if it’s only just below the surface, and all I have to do to access
it is close my eyes and go straight there. Not only getting imagery, but sounds
as well, and finding it extraordinarily easy to make contact with archetypal
energetic emanations and communicate with them. All of this dialogue in the
last week has been with extra-terrestrial energies – planets, comets, the
galactic centre.
All my energy, excitement and enthusiasm seems to be directed towards
this now. Have little time for day-to-day mundane stuff these last few days.
Interest in tidying and cleaning the house has evaporated and the urge to cook
has waned considerably. Constantly looking for inspiration for more questions
to go off into the cosmos to ask.
Prover 3, Day 15
My usual ability to instantly spot what’s wrong with something that
isn’t working has gone. I’m not seeing what it is, even if it’s pretty obvious,
for quite a while. Disconnected from things I already know – my daughter asked
me what cat gut was made from, and I said cats’ guts of course and didn’t spot
my mistake for a whole day when it suddenly came back to me. It’s like normal
logical reasoning processes using prior experience have been de-emphasised in
favour of analogical thought processes – thinking on philosophical matters is
good and flows well. Able to think in the round, so to speak, to a much greater
extent than usual, though at a more fundamental level than most people seem
able to relate to. Their thinking, on the other hand, appears even more
superficial, linear and fragmented than it normally does.
Prover 3, Day 25
Following up on quotation that captivated me, have now acquired
Joachim-Ernst Berendt’s The Third Ear, a book exploring the effect of visual
dominance on how we conceptualise and think and contrasting this with the sense
of hearing. Seems extraordinarily relevant to the proving.
Prover 3, Day 50
TV film previews of Jim Carrey’s forthcoming movie The Number 23 also
grab my attention. Researching the significance of this number on the net come
to an article by Jim Fournier referencing the work of Stan Tenen on the Hebrew
alphabet. On following this link, find Tenen’s work on fundamental
informational topology in the Hebrew alphabet links to the torus and Arthur M
Young’s work which I have already been exploring in relation to my own work on
the toroidal form. Seems like a lot of separate strings coming together.
Prover 3, Day 50
1. When I went to the 'States in the pre-proving phase (end of November,
just after I'd received the remedy from you) I had an interesting experience
with the time difference. At the time I put it down to the fact that I haven't
been to the 'States for nearly 20 years and am also 20 years older, but I see
now it was wholly relevant
(and funnily enough I was talking about it with someone not 2 days ago).
Scotland and Denver are 7 hours apart, so this was more of a jump than I've
made in one go before (used to live/work in NYC for 2 1/2 years and did the
transatlantic hop pretty frequently).
When I woke up my first morning in Denver, I looked at the time on my
laptop (6.30am) and thought great! I've slotted straight into the right time
just like I always did. Perhaps a bit earlier than I'd normally wake at home,
but entirely acceptable. When, an hour and a half later, it still wasn't light
outside, I suddenly realised that my laptop was on EST as I'd had time to kill
at Newark and had used it there and changed the clock so I could keep an eye on
when my flight was due. It took me another 2 days to move the 2 hours from EST
to MST, which is unprecedented for me since I've never had a problem with my
circadian rhythms being put out by long haul flights.
On the way home, usually the difficult one since flying counter the
Earth's rotation, I thought it would be way worse since with the 7 hour
difference I was effectively losing an entire night's sleep.
When I got home I was pretty wiped (not least because my checked luggage
failed to make it home with me), so took a 2-hour nap in the afternoon, which I
never used to do in case it really screwed things up. However, I went to bed at
my normal time and woke up the next morning as if I'd never been away. So the
trip was completely contrary to my previous experiences -- problems adjusting
which I'd never had before, and more difficult going east to west than west to
east.
It's also interesting to note that the local time I woke up my first
morning in Denver -- 4.30 h. -- was around the time I was waking repeatedly
when I started the proving 'proper'.
Prover 3, Day X
I also didn't mention another piece of work I did while proving. This
may be a bit beyond the sphere of influence you're willing to publish since
it'll be a bit beyond what most of the community of homeopaths will countenance
as relevant/appropriate. Nevertheless, for me it's what brings a lot of this
together AND crucially explains the connection to 9/11, why you've been drawn
to prove this remedy now, and why I ended up as a prover (sympathetic resonance
being key here).
In Wikipedia's entry on the pineal gland, I found this sentence --
"The relevance of the pineal gland to Discordianism, an idiosyncratic
religion with roots in California psychedelic culture whose doctrines display
great fondness for paradox, is great if not well understood."
Discordianism revolves around the Greek goddess of discord, Eris, and
the piece of work I did which I didn't mention is on the new planet (OK, dwarf
planet) Eris and its direct connection to a proving of my own which first
announced itself a couple of weeks or so after 9/11.
But seeing the newly discovered planet purely in discordant terms is a
major mistake. Paradoxically (naturally), she relates critically to the
evolving unity consciousness. The article explains all this as well as the
relevance to my own proving, though you'll probably need a bit of astrological
knowledge to fully grasp its subtleties --
What is REALLY interesting is the Sabian symbols of the degrees Eris has
been traversing throughout the time between 9/11, through the planet's
discovery, through the provings of both my essence and melatonin, to now. If
you don't know, Sabian symbols are intuited visualisations of the
characteristic resonance of each of the 360° of the zodiac articulated by a
psychic in the 1920s.
They have been variously elaborated on and interpreted since, but the
interpretations that I find particularly useful are Dane Rudhyar's.
I've attached a file which shows the timeline of the planet's traversing
of the degrees of its present position in Aries between its direct and
retrograde cycles (its apparent forward and backward motion relative to the
Earth) and where all the relevant events occurred. Note that all the relevant
events happened when the planet was retrograde relative to the Earth which
signifies that its energies are turned inwards and experienced internally. The
only times that anything has happened when the planet was in direct (ie.
externalised outward expression) motion, and which also coincided with the
planet traversing 20° Aries for which the Sabian symbol is "A pugilist
enters the ring", were i) the second period in my own proving when conflict
and discord arose with people I'd had to deal with in relation to the proving
and during which I was required to firmly stand my ground so that what I felt
to be an authentic portrayal of the essence's energy was not compromised by
other people's agendas nor my own intentions warped by their projections, and
ii) my proving of melatonin 'proper', during which I was frequently outwardly
behaving as "the pugilist entering the ring" in relation to all sorts
of issues while championing the sense of the Sabian symbol for the degree which
Eris was in when you decided to do the proving back last September -- "The
gate to the garden of all fulfilled desires", keynote: Abundance made
possible by human togetherness and cooperation.
Interesting synchronicity: today as I'm writing this, the Sun is at 20°
Aries -- "A pugilist enters the ring". Fitting.
The lies, deceit, projections and general discord I experienced coming
to me (brought up against solid incontrovertible authenticity) through much of
the pre-proving phase (when Eris was retrograde) and into the proving itself
are very characteristic of Eris's energy.
What's suddenly being brought to my attention right now is the name
'John'. When I first wrote about Eris's energy, I'd drawn parallels to John
Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten) as representative of the discordant, chaotic, but
ultimately wholly authentic energy. Noticing that John Lennon also fits the
bill, and that John is the first name of the man initiating the problems I had
over the Roineabhal proving, I started thinking about other Johns, including
John the Evangelist who is credited by some as the author of the book of
Revelations. The name 'John' is from the Hebrew meaning 'God is gracious'.
Note that the pineal gland was originally believed to be a
"vestigial remnant" of a larger organ (much as the appendix was
thought to be a vestigial digestive organ). It was only after the 1960s that
scientists discovered that the pineal gland is responsible for the production of
melatonin. Interesting coincidence between the patterns of the present time and
the 60s (Nixon/Bush, Vietnam/Iraq, 60s consciousness/New Age, etc). Alice
Bailey links creativity to the triplicity of the sacral, throat and brow
chakras,
a path raising conscious creation from the material to the spiritual. (3
was also the defining number of my essence proving.) It was interesting how
much heightened creativity I experienced through the proving, feeling like I
had done with the healing phase of my life and moving into conscious creation,
and how it was associated with the chaotic (Eris). The brief sore throat
sensations may fit in here.
After reading article in Times Educational Supplement online, explore
the forums and feel moved to contribute to the debate on bringing back the cane
which many teachers seem to support because of the discipline problems in
secondary schools. Argue for a more humane, respectful and understanding
approach which mostly gets a reaction of very worthy, but not ‘real’. Comes
across to me very forcibly how limited, fractured, prejudiced and short-term
most people’s thinking on the subject is. Get more and more depressed about the
state of things here and how so few seem to be looking at the bigger picture
and putting it all together. I want to emigrate. But where to?
Prover 3, Day 21
Old friends
Another old correspondent gets in touch out of the blue. That makes 3
since this proving energy has been around. All men, two from at least 5 years
ago, and ex-husband from considerably longer who found me on Friends Reunited.
Prover 3, Day 21
RESTLESS
Get up and go for a wander round the house. Aimless. Want something but
I don’t know what.
Prover 3, Day 1
SMELL
Seem more sensitised to smell – picking up scents of candles, etc, in
passing that I don’t normally notice.
Prover 3, Day 1
FOOD
Totally energised by the experience of cooking. Sense of smell is
noticeably heightened and everything I stick my nose into in the kitchen is
just glorious. Salivating with each new noseful. Pure joy! Appreciating all the
subtleties and nuances. Feel inspired, creative. Flavour omelette with Moroccan
spices and chilli. Eating it is extraordinarily pleasurable. Again,
appreciating all the individual subtleties and nuances in the flavours, the
texture of the egg, the juiciness of the mushrooms oozing butter and freshly
ground pepper. I can distinguish every individual ingredient. The chilli is
making my brain tingle. Just want to keep eating and never stop. Not for
hunger, but for the sensations of taste and smell. Laughing because had been
working on the issue of the global obesity epidemic for much of the day.
Prover 3, Day 1
Want to get up and find more things to put in my mouth, to smell and
taste. Go off to get some homemade cranberry ice-cream (one of last month’s recipe
inventions) out of the freezer and a glass of wine. Settle on an Italian red
wine after sampling a mouthful of Marsala just for the delight of it. The first
sip of the red wine is pure sun, a Mediterranean summer heat, of growing in a
rich and generous warmth. It’s as if part of me is actually there in Italy,
sensing the climate and the ambience of the place by every means available to
me. Can almost hear the cicadas. Now I can understand those wine critics who
describe the drink with such imaginative and flowery verbosity that I’d always
taken for a good 50% pretentiousness. Laughing again because yesterday I was
having a conversation with a friend about synaesthesia and the idea of
translating freshly mown grass into music.
Prover 3, Day 1
On a whim, decide to test this out and play some music (Dvořák’s
String Quartet No 12 in F ‘The American’). Sit back and wait, half expecting
vague flashes of colours, but it’s smells that are coming. Not strong, not well
defined, but definitely there. And smells like nothing I’ve smelled before.
Indescribable. Sometimes hints of something volatile like petrol, sometimes
something more earthy, distinctive, but with no frames of reference I can’t
name them. Can’t quite distinguish whether the smells are note-related or more
to do with the timbre of individual instruments. Perhaps picking orchestral
music wasn't such a good idea to start to the experiment, but it's too
beautiful, too much of a feast for the senses, to stop. Try a different
composer (Franck’s Symphony in D Minor). Different smells, and still equally
undefinable. Try Franck’s Panis Angelicus to see what effect voice has.
Different again, way stronger, and this time recognisable. The opening chords
are like being immersed in a total riot of flowers, really strong, no one
flower predominating. Jessye Norman’s voice has overtones of vanilla and
something else I can’t identify. Cardamom perhaps? The smell seems to come from
deep in my nose, like it’s the bones that are sensing it rather than the nasal
mucosa, but it’s only there on the in-breath, not the out-breath. The first
movement of Joep Franssens’ choral work Harmony of the Spheres smells of gold
and white and purple. I’ve no idea what colours ‘smell’ like but it’s like I’m
seeing colours through my sense of smell! Are all my senses getting their
frequency response ranges jumbled up here and crossing over each other? Is that
what synaesthesia is all about?
The cranberry ice-cream is divinely, mouth-wateringly good. Again, I can
distinguish every individual ingredient: the cranberries cooked with orange
zest, the orange juice and Marsala wine, the cream, the toasted oatmeal.
Normally I don’t do this.
Prover 3, Day 1
The Franssens choral piece continues to smell of colours, but now it’s
like I can ‘see’ streams of coloured light produced by the music coming
together in front of my face and disappearing like a corded (ha! typed
‘chorded’ initially) rope of different coloured strands into my nose. It seems
all my physical senses have changed: hearing, smell and taste are massively
heightened, while touch and vision are lessened, meaning that the normal
considerable dominance of vision has been completely eroded, and the senses are
all dancing about in each other’s territory, playing with the boundaries
between them. It feels like huge fun. I want to be a sense and join the dance.
Prover 3, Day 1
Started thinking about local situation where our woods are under threat
of development and nearly got out of bed to write off another letter to the
local authority planning department questioning their rationale. Determined to
do something about it in the morning. Couldn’t get back to sleep.
Prover 3, Day 4
Still far more than usually inclined to fire off letters to various
authorities objecting to the way things are being done, particularly when there
is a marked absence of common sense being displayed. Still inclined to making
the same mistakes in typing as consistently throughout this proving,
particularly ending words with the initial letter of the next word, ie.
transposing the first letter of a word and the space preceding it.
Prover 3, Day 68
Senses
Everything seems beautiful, full of wonder, excitement, creation. Music
is sublime. There is hope for the human race in inspiration and creativity,
when we get out of the way enough to allow the voices of the angels to speak
through us.
Prover 3, Day 1
Before going to bed, notice one of the strings of my window blind has
come out of its loop. Putting it back, find it extraordinarily hard to focus on
the string and the loop, like there is a loss of acuity and precision in my
vision equal to the gains in smell, taste and hearing.
Prover 3, Day 1
Hearing, smell and taste still acute. Evening dinner I’m back to
relishing every ingredient of the food and enjoying the last of the Italian
wine I opened on Saturday at the beginning of the proving. The wine is so good,
resolve to go and buy a case of it if I can find out where it came from. Open a
new bottle of red wine, this time South African, to see if my usual feelings
about South African reds have changed at all. Nope. They all have something
corporeal in their aroma that reminds me variously of blood, sweaty orifices,
tom cat and cheesy feet.
Prover 3, Day 3
Motivation for any household chores is absent. Even thinking about them
increases sense of light-headedness and I lose track of the thought processes.
Becoming very disconnected from my daily life and the children. No interest in
it. Far prefer to spend my time in deep philosophical conversation about the
nature of existence and the fact that humanity has got it mostly back to front
and inside out. But even this is starting to lose its appeal. Sense of
frustration. Spending a lot of time online looking at ecological and
self-sufficient housing. The more completely self-sufficient, the better. Very
taken with the idea of Earthships. I want to find some land somewhere in the
world surrounded by nature and not this collapsing civilisation. Want to spend
my days growing food, writing and creating things in the company of others
interested in a more respectful and humane way of living cocooned from the rest
of the world in my own little bubble.
Prover 3, Day 29
Order
Strong urge to tie up all loose ends, finish outstanding projects, clear
the decks, spring clean.
Prover 3, Day 2
Mistakes: I’m making many mistakes in typing.
Prover 3, Day 1
Making less errors in typing than in first hours of proving, but still
transposing n and g in ‘ing’ and putting the first letter of the next word at
the end of the previous one.
Prover 3, Day 3
Vertigo:
Prover 3, Day 25
Towards evening suddenly notice strong sensation of vertigo. Constantly
there but most noticeable when standing or walking.
Dreams:
1:30 h. Dream: I’ve just come back
in from outside. It is night time and I have been attacking the crows outside.
I have 2 cardboard boxes in my left hand and a broom handle stick in my right
hand that I have been banging on the bushes outside to frighten away the crows.
I run inside and my scalp is covered with sticking sap spurs from the flowers
outside. I’m trying to take them off into the small garbage pail and they are
getting all over the floor. Oh well, guess I’ll have to wash the kitchen floor
again. Just before this I was outside doing something and a loud sound
frightened me/took my attention away from where it was needed. It was the sound
of the crow.
Prover 1, Day 2
As I prepare to go back to sleep I am aware of an angry, vengeful part
of myself that is mischievous and wants to get back at others and doesn’t care
about them. I am thinking that this is the part that went after the crows and I
observe a small very young inner part frightened and looking out from that
mad/bad/sad man that I am, unmindful of others, humorous and angry. My body is
male, tall, and sinewy like a broomstick physique.
Prover 1, Day 2
4:50 h. Dream: An alternative movie
comes to town and I go with a friend. Many people show up and precautions are
taken to keep things safe. An Indian (from India) man comes to check my bra, to
make sure there is nothing there that is dangerous, and I enjoy the feel. I
decide it’s easier to just remove the bra and put it away, to save time. We’re
separated into groups and are told that we will all get to see the movie. I am
separated from my friend. We wait patiently, and it is now 6:00 PM and we still
haven’t seen the movie. I decide it’s time to leave. I find out that everyone
else has already seen the movie and our group has been forgotten. I wonder what
happened.
Prover 1, Day 2
5:00 h. Dream: extremely elaborate plans, passed down from woman to
woman, to reach the feminine state by repeating simple repetitive tasks to
reach a deeper understanding. We each help to guide and support each other, to
reach ‘feminine think’ in action.
Prover 1, Day 3
D (NS) Had a dream on waking [this morning]. Usual, hurrying to get
somewhere. I think it is me trying to get back in my body to wake up. Saw a
good friend who has had lots of injuries, being hit by car twice [in real
life]. Something happened to her in the dream that might cause her to start
over again and re-injure.
Woke up and thought, “Oh, No!” with surprised that it happened.
Prover 2, Day 2
Many dreams, mostly confused fragments. A lot of stuff to do with cars
and roads and roundabouts and Africa.
Prover 3, Day 2
Dreams: I’m going to get my car seen to because something isn’t right
with the radiator. I have to park it at a roundabout and go on foot to the next
junction where the garage is. The mechanic (who’s the mechanic who usually looks
after my car) says that the reason the radiator doesn’t work properly is that
it’s the wrong one for the car. The car is a highly unusual variant of the
model even though it looks the same as all the others. It’s from Africa and the
woman who sold it to me imported it from The Gambia. It’s a De Longhi (a make
of portable domestic radiator) model. I walk back to my car, relieved that the
mystery is solved and discover that something has smashed into it. There is a
dent in the middle of the bonnet and the radiator grill has been knocked in.
Then I am in the car in a different place trying to get out of a parking
spot to join the queue of traffic heading for a roundabout. A weird little car
a bit like a Smart car and painted in a black and white pattern like a
herringbone fabric stops to let me in. I’m in a hurry so accelerate forward,
but have to immediately slow down again because there’s a line of people
waiting to go round the roundabout too. I have to weave in and out to avoid
them. The people are all moving into the outside lane to turn right off the
roundabout. They’re going to the supermarket. So am I so I have to drop down to
their pace. Feeling frustrated. In the supermarket there’s all sorts of strange
fish for sale. The tannoy calls out for a member of staff to report somewhere.
The name is Chinese, and a Chinese woman close to me runs off.
Prover 3, Day 2
My son and I are on holiday somewhere and we have been coming to this
small enclosed cobbled area between some buildings to sunbathe. We arrive at
the same time as an elderly couple who barge past us, knocking us aside. I put
my towel down on the ground where my son and I were the day before and the old
man sits right down on it and starts to spread out his things, completely
ignoring us. His wife takes up an equal amount of space a small distance away
leaving us only a small area between them. I’m furious at such rudeness – it’s
“our” space; we’ve been coming here for days – and wrench my towel out from
underneath the old man and slap it down in the only space left for us. He looks
at me as if I’m just an insignificant annoyance and tells me to go lie
somewhere else in the shade. No way.
Prover 3, Day 2
In trying to recall other dream fragments, there is something about an
African tribesman. Tall, powerful, in tribal dress, shaman-like. Every time the
briefest glimpse of him comes back into recollection, there is an enormous
surge of energy and excitement as if there’s something really important about
him. There’s also something about the shit hitting the fan – literally – and
everyone getting covered in it.
Prover 3, Day 2
Another night of getting hot and sweaty, though this time not chilled.
Many dreams again, though this time not so successful in catching fragments.
Prover 3, Day 3
Dreams: Of being in a totally messed up bed, sheets (made of lace)
detached from corners of mattress and all scrumpled up under me.
Prover 3, Day 4
Of being on the threshold of waking and sleeping and unable to remain in
either (see dream in pre-proving phase). Of staying in a hotel at a seaside
resort which was supposedly Brighton, England, and trying to persuade another
guest who was some low-ranking politician, that there needed to be a government
commitment to clean up the coastal waters from all the pollution. I was adamant
that the first step had to be the commitment because without it nothing would
happen.
Prover 3, Day 4
Of walking around shops in lanes and looking for jewellery in my pyjamas
and bathrobe, but none of it caught my eye.
Prover 3, Day 4
Of stealing an egg and putting it in the pocket of my bathrobe.
Prover 3, Day 4
Woke up with U2’s song ‘One Tree Hill’ in my head.
We turn away to face the cold, enduring chill
As the day begs the night for mercy, love
The sun so bright it leaves no shadows, only
scars
Carved into stone on the face of earth.
The moon is up over One Tree Hill
We see the sun go down in your eyes.
You run like a river on to the sea
You run like a river runs to the sea
And in the world a heart of darkness; a fire
zone
Where poets speak their heart then bleed for it
Jara sang - his song a weapon in the hands of
one
Whose blood still cries from the ground.
He runs like a river runs to the sea
He runs like a river to the sea
I don't believe in painted roses, or bleeding
hearts
While bullets rape the night of the merciful
I'll see you again when the stars fall from the
sky
And the moon has turned red over One Tree Hill
We run like a river runs to the sea
We run like a river to the sea
And when it's raining, raining hard
That's when the rain will break your heart
Raining... raining … raining in my heart
Raining in my heart
Raining...raining into your heart
Raining, raining...raining
Raining into your heart
Raining...
Raining your heart into the sea
Oh great ocean
Oh great sea
Run to the ocean
Run to the sea
Somehow it seems extraordinarily pertinent.
Raining …
Prover 3, Day 4
Dreams with mostly same characteristics as last few nights – fragmentary
and often involving things I’d been doing/seeing through day. More transport
themes.
Prover 3, Day 6
Dream: Of travelling somewhere by train with my 2 daughters. The train
either breaks down or comes to a halt somewhere between stations. We have no
idea where we are and the environment beyond the tracks gives no clues as it
keeps shifting. We get out and start walking up the tracks. Many of the tracks
are old and rusty and obviously no longer in use. I’m careful to watch out for
electrified tracks and point these out to youngest daughter so we can avoid
them. Eldest daughter already knows about them.
No train comes by but we’re constantly alert for them. After walking up
the tracks a way, they open out into a large area of sidings to one side of
which appears to be what looks like an old deserted station. I say to daughters
that they built this area south of Clapham Junction (London). I call out to
eldest daughter that we’re going to check the station out to see if we can find
someone. She carries on ahead on the main tracks. When we first approach the
station bit, it’s on the same level as the tracks, but by the time we’re
walking along the platform, it’s about a couple of hundred feet above the
tracks with a steep vertical drop faced in concrete from the edge of the
platform all the way down. There seems no way of getting back onto the tracks
without going back the way we came which now looks very steep and tricky to
negotiate. We go into the station buildings. There’s a few rooms that look as
if they’re in use. There’s a railway worker’s uniform that looks quite new and
recently worn hanging behind a door, but no sign of anyone. Then I notice a
closed door and there are sounds from behind it. Seems to be a bathroom. A
woman comes out. I’m surprised, having expected a man. She seems to be
expecting a journalist to interview her about her unusual life and work on the
old station and thinks I’m the journalist. She immediately launches into her
story and starts talking about some tax breaks she’s able to make use of
because she’s self-employed (*). I don’t know about them and they sound really
really useful, and I’m self-employed, so I play along at being the journalist
and sit down to interview her in depth about it so I’ll be able to use the tax
breaks myself.
Prover 3, Day 6
Again many dreams, though unsuccessful in catching any.
Prover 3, Day 7
Many dreams again. Again catch lots of fragment rather than any lengthy
continuous sequence.
Prover 3, Day 8
Of working on images for advertising campaign for local health spa. The
images I have are of a hand reaching down to pluck a red rose from where it’s
submerged just beneath the surface of water. The original image which appeared
to me was just a red colouration in the water lit from below, but then thought
that wouldn’t be appropriate because the idea of blood in water associated with
a health spa would send totally the wrong message, so it had to be conveyed
more subliminally.
Prover 3, Day 8
Of inheriting or somehow acquiring my aunt’s old house in a London
suburb, then realising this was the wrong place to put my energy into turning
into a home because it was too low down and close to the river Thames and would
get flooded.
Prover 3, Day 8
Of a house divided up into flats and giving someone a guided tour of it.
I know the house well although it doesn’t belong to me. One of the flats, the
largest and most luxurious, turns into a flat I’ve seen many times in my
dreams. Usually I’m renting a shared flat in the same building, or I’m
caretaking it for the owners, or renting a single room in it. It has a
fascinating and unusual layout, including a lower level which leads into a
stunningly beautiful but neglected garden room which in turn leads into a
private garden, also somewhat neglected. I always experience a strong desire to
own this property so I can restore the garden room and garden.
Prover 3, Day 8
Of redecorating a large living room of a house. It’s in a neglected
state of repair but nothing too serious and I can immediately see exactly how
I’m going to deal with everything that needs doing. I’m organising the project
and telling my family how we’ll proceed from one side of the room to the other
so we don’t have to move too much of the furnishings outside the room. A
soon-to-be-ex-partner is there who is grumpy and uncooperative since he’s about
to be moving out and none of this will be for his benefit. The room has been
created from two rooms knocked together. As we’re moving things from the back
part of the room to the front, the front part of the room changes into a
kitchen area with very basic and old equipment and I’m picturing in my mind
exactly how I’ll turn it into an efficient and wonderful area to cook in while
keeping some of the unique features of the old kitchen like the Belfast sink.
When I start visualising the back part of the room and how to deal with it,
there’s a sense we’re on a tight budget but by the time I get to the kitchen
area, the budget seems much more generous.
Prover 3, Day 8
Woke up with U2’s “One Tree Hill” going through my head again. The words
I seem to be zooming in on are the ones about Victor Jara:
And in the world a heart of darkness; a fire zone
Where poets speak their heart then bleed for it.
Jara sang - his song a weapon in the hands of one
Whose blood still cries from the ground.
The imagery of blood crying from the ground recalls the dream imagery of
the submerged blood–>rose.
Prover 3, Day 8
Dream: Of having my hair cut into a very dramatic style – shaved right
off at either side and on top at the front with just a strip going back to the
nape of the neck and tied in a pony tail at the back. Very like the traditional
male hairstyles of some Native American tribes (Iroquois, Mohawk, Osage). It’s
cut this way as I pay another visit to a friend in Denver. I’m talking to her and
others, walking around her apartment, and keep forgetting about the new hair
cut and think it’s in my old style then realise it’s not with a bit of shock
and disappointment. It’s a style that shouts far too loudly for my liking and I
keep thinking that I’m going to have difficulty having anyone take me seriously
or even for a fairly normal person with this on my head. The scene changes and
I’m in the back garden of the house I grew up in. I’m playing with some
children who are driving about in toy cars. I’m saying to one little girl that
she has an excellent hairstyle because it looks like a mop. I still have my
shaved head with pony tail. Prince Charles is there and he’s playing with the
children too. Then he grabs me from behind playfully round the waist, pinning
my arms to my sides, and won’t let go. It’s all good fun though I’m wondering
why he’s behaving like he knows me well enough to be so familiar when I’ve
never met him before. It occurs to me that he’s interested in ecological
matters and it might be an ideal opportunity to raise the subject of my
research into the connections between CVD and nitrate fertiliser use, though
I’m a bit reticent to do so because it seems like the wrong thing to do in the
circumstances. However, since he’s being so personal and familiar with me I
decide it’s OK and mention it. He’s very interested. At that point I wake up.
Prover 3, Day 9
Dream fragment: Of being on holiday with my two younger children. We are
at a dockside and a tug is pulling into the dock. Nobody is there to catch
their lines and tie the boat up and a seaman yells at me from the deck to catch
the hawser and put it round a bollard. I do so. The crew are very grateful and
invite me and the kids to come out to their ship and have a drink with them. I
say so long as it won’t take too long as we’re due back at our hotel to met up
with the rest of our family and I’m wary about getting into any kind of
drinking session as I’ve got to drive. When we take our seats on the tug, the
seaman who’s invited us sits down next to me and puts his arm round my
shoulders. I think oh no this was a really bad idea (then am woken by the phone
ringing).
Prover 3, Day 11
Dream fragments of being in a whole series of situations where I was
being asked to compromise my moral values. (This after watching a TV program
featuring a woman bribing people to favour her son.) Feels like I was dreaming
the whole night long. This seems even more marked than in the pre-proving phase
where I was aware of having a lot of dreams but was unable to catch many.
Dreams are much easier to catch since taking the actual physical remedy.
Busy night of dreams. Increasingly reluctant to get out of bed in the
morning and left it to the last minute to get up and get the kids off to
school. Had dreams in my head to write down, but by the time I’d got the kids
up and dressed, I’d lost them.
Prover 3, Day 14
Don’t get up until 11am. Feels like the entire night has been full of
dreams. Lots about cars and journeys, going places.
Prover 3, Day 15
Of going on a cruise ship with friends and colleagues. We board the ship
in New Jersey and are heading for Bolivia. I’m excited because it looks like
the journey might involve travelling through the Panama Canal. Then the ship is
already in Bolivia. We are in a lounge area watching a video of President Hugo
Chávez (though his name is slightly different in the dream). I say something
like “now there’s a great man!” and some of the South American crew in the same
room ask me which man I’m talking about, obviously expecting me, as a citizen
of an imperialist nation, to be supporting his predecessor Pérez (who in the
dream was called Arowana, the name of a S. American predatory fish). I indicate
Chávez and the crew are delighted and start talking to us about all that he’s
done for his people. Meanwhile the ship is sailing over land, evidently taking
a short cut to avoid having to sail right round a peninsula. I’m amazed at how
smoothly it moves. I’m out on deck looking ahead and see this rough hull-shaped
passageway cut through the landscape, like a kind of road for ships. The
general sense in the dream is that this journey is heading into something new,
so there is excitement from anticipation and also a little anxiety.
Prover 3, Day 15
Last three days, a number of dreams featuring ex-partners and friends
and family I haven’t seen for a while. A lot to do with travelling to the north
and west and trying to take a shower but getting constantly frustrated or
interrupted (was needing to get up and get a shower at the time of the dreams).
Prover 3, Day 25
Not been able to catch dreams with any success lately.
Prover 3, Day 39
Still going to bed far too late. Back to dreaming more prolifically and
noticeably, though still not able to remember many, but this is largely through
having to get up quickly before I can write them down than not being able to
carry them over into waking state. In one, dreamt of situation in which I
discovered a length of tissue about 20cm long hanging from my anus, like a kind
of rectal prolapse, though the tissue was thin and insubstantial. In the
context of the dream, which was staying in some kind of hostel with many other
people and deadlines for group activities to adhere to, I was unable to do
anything about this or even to find my underwear. Dream prompted me to check
the reality and discovered that anus was everted to even greater degree than
previously.
Prover 3, Day 50
Dreams of floods and water
Prover 3, Day X
Head:
Pain flashed through her head like she was going to get a headache and
then went away.
Prover 2, Day 1
Slight sense of headache in right hemisphere from right temple backward.
Prover 3, Day 1
Headache sensation cleared, though still feeling physically heavy and
mentally extremely dull and slow. It’s like all thought processes came to a
halt and there is nothing.
Prover 3, Day 1
Wake with slight headache in right hemisphere, same sensation as first
minutes of proving. Hearing is very acute. There’s a lot of tension in my neck
and shoulders. Dropping my head forward produces a pulling sensation that goes
right from my neck down my spine as if all the muscles are stiff and
inflexible.
Prover 3, Day 2
Slight headache, left hemisphere this time, and feelings of extreme
tension in lower jaw.
Prover 3, Day 5
Headache continues throughout the day, by evening moving to
predominantly right hemisphere, though sometimes more equilateral. Extreme
tension in lower jaw seems like it might be part causing the headache. Also a
lot of tension in back of neck and upper shoulders.
Prover 3, Day 5
Wake up with headache and continuing tense lower jaw, though headache
resolves soon after rising.
Prover 3, Day 6
Neck:
Prover 3, Day 5
Headache continues throughout the day, by evening moving to
predominantly right hemisphere, though sometimes more equilateral. Extreme
tension in lower jaw seems like it might be part causing the headache. Also a
lot of tension in back of neck and upper shoulders.
Prover 3, Day 6
Neck still stiff as well.
Face:
Just looked in the mirror and see that my cheeks are BRIGHT RED!
Prover 1, Day 1
The next thing was the bright red cheeks, followed by a dream about
crows and the removal of sticky sappy flowers from my scalp.
Prover 1, Day 3
My lips went numb! Bizare. Comes and goes. Only lasted as along as I was
taking it.
Prover 2, Day 2
Skin of face is slightly itchy.
Prover 3, Day 1
Mouth:
Swollen wisdom tooth site in lower left jaw is resolving, but same thing
is happening left upper jaw. This site has never produced symptoms before (see
pre-proving notes). The association between jaw tension and wisdom tooth site
symptoms is interesting. The appearance of these symptoms is also interesting
in view of the number of people, including this particular patient, I’m hearing
about with cancer right now. Also wonder whether it connects with small
epithelioma-type eruption in right instep, which is still present.
Prover 3, Day 5
Lips also feel as if about to develop splits and cracks.
Prover 3, Day 6
Inside of mouth round lips feels as if the skin is ragged and abraded,
as if I’ve been chewing it, which unusually I haven’t (have habit of chewing
inside of mouth, particularly right side, since proving a couple of years ago).
In fact, have just about stopped chewing mouth in last month or so.
Prover 3, Day 7
Definitely losing the urge to chew the inside of my mouth. The lining of
my mouth now feels much thicker over the regions I used to chew as if cell
growth has accelerated to keep pace with the repeated chewing away and hasn’t
yet adjusted.
Prover 3, Day 10
Towards evening chewed the inside of my cheek again.
Prover 3, Day 14
Another split in lower lip, right side. Cracks in the boundaries.
There’s cracks in the boundaries between senses, between inner and outer,
between dimensions.
Prover 3, Day 15
Split in lower lip developed herpetic-like swelling which persisted for
a few days then went down again without crusting. Morning after party woke with
another herpes-type swelling and blister left side lower lip. Only became aware
of it through licking lips. Cold sores usually announce themselves with itching
before appearing. To go with this eruption, there is a sensation of an ulcer on
the edge of my tongue, again slightly to left of centre, though nothing
visible.
Prover 3, Day 21
Cold sore is now in the cracking and bleeding stage so have to continually
apply cream to stop it from drying out. Still a slight sensation as of an ulcer
on the edge of my tongue, but still nothing visible.
Prover 3, Day 25
Cracks in lips and anus make me very aware of either end of the
alimentary canal. Anus is also slightly everted, making the anal ring more
prominent than normal. Feel like some sort of slug – a boneless body with a
digestive system .
Prover 3, Day 25
Lips and anus remain fragile: sore, tender and easily cracked. Another
cold sore appears on upper lip, slightly to right of center.
Prover 3, Day 39
Back to chewing inside of right cheek.
Prover 3, Day 39
Cold sore now resolved. Lips and anus remain cracked and sore, and
margins of nose continue to be itchy.
Prover 3, Day 50
No cracks in lips for past couple of days either, though margins of nose
remain itchy.
Prover 3, Day 52
With the place where the previous cold sore occurred on the upper lip
still slightly reddened, more cold sores appear again on lower lip, again
slightly to the right of centre. It seems as soon as I’m clear of one then
another one appears. I have never suffered from them so badly, or without an
ensuing cold. Remainder of lower lip is very dry. Front edge of tongue tender
like it would ulcerate.
Prover 3, Day 52
Crack in upper lip, right side, near corner. With it a slight sense as
of ulcer on the leading edge of tongue.
Prover 3, Day 68
No recurrences of cold sores and lips no longer cracking. Prover 3, Day
83
Hair is not so greasy any more – not quite back to pre-proving state,
but 70% there.
Prover 3, Day 83
Took the remedy again this morning. My lips went numb! Comes and goes.
Only lasted as along as I was taking it.
Prover 2, Day 2
Nose:
Margins of nose still very itchy.
Prover 3, Day 68
Margins of nose now far less frequently itchy.
Prover 3, Day 83
Vision:
15:00 After shower, get out a needle and thread to repair a loop on my
bathrobe. Can only focus on the eye of the needle to thread it if I hold it
away from me at maximum arms’ length, and even then there’s still a slight
doubling of the image. Manage to thread the needle without resorting to glasses
however. Vision seems as sharp as normal looking around me generally, it’s just
in focusing in on a precise small area that’s causing problems. The two images
from each eye won’t overlap properly to give me accurate stereoscopic vision.
On the computer screen, can still read the small print, but it lacks clear
definition.
Prover 3, Day 2
Hearing:
Hearing is very acute.
Prover 3, Day 2
Throat:
Within five minutes I felt like I had a hard ball in the back of my
throat and I found it hard to swallow. I tried cold water and it gave me an
‘empty’ feeling in my body. Hot tea made it feel much better.
Prover 1, Day 1
I had a moment of feeling like something was stuck in the back of my
throat, like where I felt the ball yesterday, and warm drinks made that feel
better. I can feel it when I swallow…hmmm..I think the lymph glands in my
throat are a bit swollen. It doesn’t feel painful/sore, more like an
uncomfortable feeling upon swallowing.
Prover 1, Day 2
Left sided, back of throat discomfort on eating an orange. Dissipates
quickly and can’t be considered painful, just uncomfortable (like when a cold
is coming on and it hasn’t quite arrived yet).
Prover 1, Day 3
Seems like the biggest symptom was the throat, beginning with the
feeling as if a hard ball was stuck in the back of the throat, eventually
leading to slight gland swelling, left sided discomfort on eating citrus fruit,
better with hot tea.
Prover 1, Day 3
Late afternoon start to develop a sore throat. Left sided <
swallowing. Quite pronounced. By evening it’s disappeared again.
Prover 3, Day 11
Chest:
Five minutes after the remedy felt tightness in chest, internal
squeezing for a few minutes.
Prover 2, Day 1
My heart is pounding audibly.
Prover 3, Day 2
Back:
(NS): Waking with an achy back. Think it is from practicing cranial
sacral on others. Finding a way that is more comfortable. Using still point
inducers on myself 2ce a day and back is better.
Prover 2, Day 5
Feel twinge of tension in back just under left scapula and in moving
about to relieve it seem to pull the muscles instead and make it much worse,
not better. Pain becomes more diffuse, moving across whole of upper back from
thoracic vertebrae upwards and back feels weak, fragile. Hardly dare move it.
Each time I do so I seem to pull different muscle groups and set up different
sources of pain which then become less focused and diffuse. There is an
irritation, a desire to break out of this prison of a back all caged about with
its bones and its muscles. Can’t get comfortable. Get up and walk about which
relieves, but on sitting down again there is a general soreness in all muscles
and a sharper soreness in the muscles underneath the left scapula. Sitting
still it’s almost as if there is a weight pressing in on my back in the
thoracic region and it’s specifically that sensation which brings on the
feelings of irritation and desire to escape from it.
Prover 3, Day 1
Raising arms above head is sore, particularly left. Already I’m using my
back as if I’ve injured it and am protecting the injured muscles.
Prover 3, Day 1
All pain and pressing sensations in my back have gone. The muscles that
felt as if they were strained are strained no longer. Movement is free and easy
and raising the left arm above the head doesn’t even produce the slightest
twinge. It’s as if I’ve cast a shell from off my back.
Prover 3, Day 1
My back feels slightly sore again and there is slight pressure in the
thoracic region again which has the same intense irritation attached to it that
just makes me want to escape it.
Prover 3, Day 2
Back continues to feel tense for much of the day.
Prover 3, Day 2
Neck and back less stiff, though there is still some noticeable tension.
Prover 3, Day 3
Exercise balls which I ordered last week arrive. Replace my desk chair
with the larger of the two and have enormous fun bouncing around and shoogling
about on it for the rest of the day while working at the computer. Frequently
breaking into spontaneous outbursts of laughter at the thought of falling off
it in some ludicrous way. Back feels better for it, and hip joints too which
have been suffering from too many hours spent in the same position. Cats are
not happy with my new seat. No lap to sit in.
Prover 3, Day 3
Aware at some stage of feeling of pressure in thoracic region again.
Prover 3, Day 6
Throughout day on several occasions a sudden, awkward or stretching
movement or deep intake of breath prompted a muscle twinge in intercostal
muscles, mostly of back, as if muscle was about to be pulled. Different
location in each instance, and in each instance no strain or pain ensued, but
was sufficient in each case to make me freeze mid-movement in case any further
movement resulted in injury.
Prover 3, Day 6
Back muscles continue to produce twinges on sudden or stretching
movements. Now lower down, more in lumbar region, very similar to occasional
twinges in pre-proving phase.
Prover 3, Day 7
Continuing occasional twinges in back – thoracic and lumbar regions – in
response to big movements.
Prover 3, Day 8
Drive to nearest town and notice a consistent feeling of weakness and
twinges, almost of impending spasm, in lower region of lumbar spine.
Prover 3, Day 10
Major physical symptom continues to be feeling of weakness in back with
twinges in lower lumbar region. Menses now finally ceased.
Prover 3, Day 10
Back still feels weak and have to concentrate not to slouch when
sitting, but twinges are less frequent now.
Prover 3, Day 13
Discomfort and weakness in lower back now a constant sensation.
Discomfort centred around left sacro-iliac joint. Whole back feels weak and am
aware of back muscles constantly under tension as if I’m having to use all my
muscles to hold me up rather than my skeleton. I can’t “walk tall”. When
standing or walking, am aware of feeling shorter; slumped and collapsing in on
myself as if my spine has no integrity, head disappearing into shoulders,
lumbar region disappearing into pelvis, and everything in between compressed
and feeling like the natural slight S shape of the spine is flattening down
with the curvature becoming more pronounced in each direction.
Prover 3, Day 25
Back weakness even more pronounced. Vertigo and extreme weakness still
present. Hard to concentrate on anything. Drive into local town and manage fine
with driving though if something unpredictable had happened I don’t think my
reactions would have been very quick. Managing shopping is exhausting. When I
get home can only put a few bags away at a time without feeling overwhelmed, so
leave the rest and go back to them in stages.
Prover 3, Day 28
Lying down in bed realise that the entire length of my spine is now
touching the mattress. Usually there’s a gap at the curvature in the lumbar
region enough to slip a hand through. Go to sleep with a hot water bottle
resting against the painful sacro-iliac joint. The heat ameliorates.
Prover 3, Day 28
Less discomfort in sacro-iliac joint after using heat on it last night,
though back still extraordinarily weak. Some discomfort now in hip joints.
Entire pelvis feels weak, as if in danger of coming apart. Walking around
starts to become more and more uncomfortable and am aware the muscles around my
pelvis are now doing exactly the same as the muscles in my back have been doing
– they’re in a state of constant tension as if they need to hold me together.
Prover 3, Day 29
Left sacro-iliac discomfort still present, and responding less to heat
treatment. Most discomfort now in hip joints and surrounding muscles. Walking
painful initially, as is lifting legs or any movement requiring large movements
in the hip joints. Slightly worse left side, though not significantly. Much
easier for continued movement. Upper back now feels a little easier. There is
less of a sense of compression, though muscles are still tense and the spine
still feels weak.
Prover 3, Day 31
Discomfort in sacral region and hips now gone. Back less noticeably weak
though muscles still more than usually tense.
Prover 3, Day 39
Back still slightly more than usually tense.
Prover 3, Day 50
Still odd days when walking around feels difficult, as if hips joints or
pelvis were about to give way. Feel like I’m almost tottering rather than
falling into an easy stride.
Prover 3, Day 50
Back still has some slight sense of weakness compared to normal state,
occasionally feeling slight twinges in lumbar region bending over to pick up
heavy things.
Prover 3, Day 68
Neck:
Neck continues to be stiff and tense. Jaw also, though slightly easier
than last 2 days.
Prover 3, Day 7
Have to work consciously to relax neck and shoulders before sleep.
Prover 3, Day 8
Stomach:
Stomach felt irritated, like I hadn’t eaten in a long time. Didn’t last
long, just when it hit the stomach.
Prover 2, Day 2
Limbs:
Muscles of right arm, particularly the muscles of the lower arm, are
aching from typing and from stroking the cat.
Prover 3, Day 1
Left scapula still feels as if I’ve pulled a muscle beneath it, but back
is much less sore and sensation of pressure is now only minimal.
Prover 3, Day 1
Scribbling down the dream fragments in my notebook before I forget them,
the muscles of my right hand get sore from writing.
Prover 3, Day 2
Lower, bruising
While having shower, notice I’m bruising very easily again. There are
bruises on my legs from carrying a bag of logs in for the fire. The bag hardly
touched my legs and certainly didn’t knock against them with any force. There’s
also a bruise on the inside of my left knee where it touches the desk while I’m
sitting working.
Prover 3, Day 2
Both knees are more bruised from where they touched the desk while I was
rolling around on my exercise ball yesterday.
Prover 3, Day 4
On getting out of shower notice that chilblains have developed from just
that brief period earlier sitting in my pyjamas without socks or slippers. My
feet didn’t feel unduly cold at the time.
Prover 3, Day 16
While cooking, brushed part of l. arm against hot baking sheet. Didn’t
really hurt at all and instantly forgot about it. Later on discovered two
enormous burn blisters at the site, but no pain or soreness at all.
Prover 3, Day 21
Fingers:
Outer edge of nail of right little toe feels infected. Only noticeable
in bare feet when brushing against something, no sensation once socks or shoes
are on. As if skin has peeled away like a hangnail had got inflamed or as if
nail were ingrowing, though neither is the case.
Prover 3, Day 6
Inner edge of right thumb nail feels slightly swollen and inflamed, like
right little toe. Painful, as if I’d a hangnail or torn the skin along that
edge of the nail and got it infected, but there’s no visible injury.
Prover 3, Day 7
Right side of nails of right thumb and right little toe are now inflamed
as well as sore.
Prover 3, Day 8
Right thumb and right little toe are less inflamed now; it really does
feel like the right sides of the nails are ingrowing in both cases, though it’s
clear they’re not from examination.
Prover 3, Day 9
Again notice slight sensation as of ingrowing toenail or hangnail on
right little toe. This is only when foot is bare and nothing is touching the
toe. Once I have socks and shoes on there is no sensation at all.
Prover 3, Day 11
Puncture wound in left index finger resulted in extensive bruising round
the top if the finger.
Prover 3, Day 16
Female Organs:
Throughout night, menses more profuse than normally the case through the
night.
Prover 3, Day 4
Menses much more membranous and clotted than normal. Large pieces of
uterine lining and associated clots coming away.
Prover 3, Day 4
Nothing remarkable about menses apart from slightly longer than average
duration (7 days). No clots as in previous month, so continuing the trend of no
discernible trend.
Prover 3, Day 39
Menses began yesterday. 30 day interval. No precursory symptoms
whatsoever this time. Blood seems slightly more brownish than normal.
Prover 3, Day 52
Period lasts 2 days then ceases for 36 hours, returning for 24, then
finishes.
Prover 3, Day 52
Rectum:
Towards evening, sensation as of split developing in anal sphincter on
passing stool.
Prover 3, Day 6
Split in anal sphincter now bleeding slightly on defaecation.
Prover 3, Day 7
Cracks in lips and anus make me very aware of either end of the
alimentary canal. Anus is also slightly everted, making the anal ring more
prominent than normal. Feel like some sort of slug – a boneless body with a
digestive system .
Prover 3, Day 25
Cold sore now resolved. Lips and anus remain cracked and sore, and
margins of nose continue to be itchy.
Prover 3, Day 50
Anus returned to normal. All of a sudden the persistent evertion of anal
ring has returned to normal state
Prover 3, Day 52
Anus sore and cracked again. Some bleeding on passing stool. Another
dream in which about 6 inches of my rectum comes out of my anus and somehow my
head turns round on my body so I am watching stools pass through it. In the
dream it’s all just fascinating – of academic interest. No emotional component
or identification with it.
Prover 3, Day 68
Anus now normal.
Prover 3, Day 83
Stool:
Bowels looser than of late throughout day. Go to toilet several times.
By evening no longer loose but am able to pass stool in the evening which has
not been the case for a while.
Prover 3, Day 2
Bowels back to being normal in the morning and more constipated in the
evening.
Prover 3, Day 4
Bowels much looser today, almost to the point of diarrhoea, after
several days of constipation and ineffectual urging once the morning is past,
but still consistently with the modality of being looser in the morning and
much less so as the day wears on. More flatus as well.
Prover 3, Day 25
Son’s hamster dies. He was certainly coming to the end of his natural
span, but as with daughter’s hamster before Christmas, suffered from severe
diarrhoea in his last few days. His anus was also everted.
Prover 3, Day 52
Sleep:
Not sleeping as well as I could. Not sure if it started before or after
taking remedy.
Prover 2, Day 5
Waking with an achy back.
Prover 2, Day 5
Restless night, alternating between feeling cold and then hot and
sweaty.
Prover 3, Day 2
Another night of getting hot and sweaty, though this time not chilled.
Many dreams again, though this time not so successful in catching fragments.
Prover 3, Day 3
Another sweaty night. Woken around 3am by storm and mobile phone
signalling low battery.
Prover 3, Day 4
Tossing and turning, constantly dipping in and out of dreams. By 8am too
tired to get up so went back to bed after mechanic came to pick up car.
Prover 3, Day 4
Throughout night, menses more profuse than normally the case through the
night.
Prover 3, Day 4
Another late night. 1.30am before going to bed. And similarly getting up
much later in the mornings (when I’m able).
Prover 3, Day 9
A sweaty night. Repeatedly waking feeling hot and also itchy in areas
where I’ve put on weight (thighs, buttocks).
Prover 3, Day 10
Better night’s sleep. No sweat. Can’t catch dreams again. No reason to
get up early so stay in bed until 10am which is increasingly feeling like a far
more natural time of day to wake up.
Prover 3, Day 10
Better night. No sweating. Still many dreams, and many weaving
themselves around waking life events, eg. dreaming of asking people to my
birthday party which I’d been doing before going to bed.
Prover 3, Day 5
More and more reluctant to get out of bed in the morning. Would stay
there all day if I could.
Prover 3, Day 21
Still going to bed later than normal and not wanting to get up in the
morning.
Prover 3, Day 39
Getting up in the mornings still difficult, though going to bed earlier.
Rarely after 1.30am now. Still some disorientation on waking – not able to fix
on whether I the children are here or not, whether it’s a school day or not,
etc.
Prover 3, Day 68
Getting up in mornings now back to normal ease and going to bed much
more around my usual time - midnight to 1 h. - and if going any later then
suffering for it the next day.
Prover 3, Day 83
Getting up in the mornings still difficult, though going to bed earlier.
Rarely after 1.30am now. Still some disorientation on waking – not able to fix
on whether I the children are here or not, whether it’s a school day or not,
etc.
Prover 3, Day 68
Generals:
Cold
It has been exceptionally cold here. Clear and cold. She said she liked
it being cold. (At the intake prover said she didn’t not like the cold.)
Prover 2, Day 2
I feel good the North wind invigorates me spiritually.
Prover 2, Day 5
Notice I’m feeling the cold much more these past few days.
Prover 3, Day 5
This despite wearing warmer pyjamas and having a hot water bottle. Again
aware of being half awake through much of the night as another gale rages
outside.
Prover 3, Day 6
Gale continuing to blow and house feels draughty and cold despite
heating being on. Not really warm enough sitting at desk, even with silk
thermal leggings underneath trousers, so substitute heavy-duty thermal hiking
leggings for the silk ones and put on an extra jumper which makes 4 layers on
top. Still not warm. Hot drink does little to help so get hot water bottle. By
the second refill finally start to feel core temperature is back to where it
should be.
Prover 3, Day 6
On getting out of shower notice that chilblains have developed from just
that brief period earlier sitting in my pyjamas without socks or slippers. My
feet didn’t feel unduly cold at the time.
Prover 3, Day 16
Heavy
Put single granule of remedy in mouth while I was standing up and
immediately sat down heavily and involuntarily. Sense of enormous weight.
Dullness. Slowness. Energy sinks. A moment ago I was feeling sharp and
energised and had achieved a lot today. All gone.
Prover 3, Day 1
Water
Repeatedly have the urge to have a bath (normally only take showers).
Want to be immersed in water, but it’s late so I don’t.
Prover 3, Day 1
Bruising
While having shower, notice I’m bruising very easily again. There are
bruises on my legs from carrying a bag of logs in for the fire. The bag hardly
touched my legs and certainly didn’t knock against them with any force. There’s
also a bruise on the inside of my left knee where it touches the desk while I’m
sitting working.
Prover 3, Day 2
Food and Drinks: Desires: Alcohol;
Desire for alcohol slightly lessened. Not had any for last 3 nights and
although could easily enjoy some, desire is not sufficient to make me go open a
bottle.
Prover 3, Day 7
Desire for alcohol very much reduced. No longer craving it and drinking
far less.
Prover 3, Day 39
Feel generally extremely weak.
Prover 3, Day 25
Color
Red cheeks
Vorwort/Suchen Zeichen/Abkürzungen Impressum