Stangeria eriopus o. paradoxa = Lomaria lagopus/= Natal grass
cycad
Stangeria eriopus one of the first seed plants on earth. It
is a gymnosperm, dating back to Pangaea, and the Permian era, and still used today
in Zulu medicine. It is biologically somewhere between a fern.: and a pine.: It has been trampled by tyrannosaurus, lived through ice ages and
thought to protect against lightning.
[Melanie Grimes] cccc
Proving of Stangeria
eriopus, Natal grass cycad
INTRODUCTION
Stangeria eriopus one
of the first seed plants on earth. It is a
gymnosperm, dating back
to Pangaea, and the Permian era, and
still used today in
Zulu medicine. It is biologically somewhere
between a fern and a
pine. It has been trampled by
tyrannosaurus, lived
through ice ages and thought to protect
against lightning.
Synonyms: Stangeria
paradoxa, Lomaria lagopus
Common Names: Natal
grass cycad, False fern
Plantae; Spermatophyta,
Gymnospermae; Cycadopsida;
Cycadaceae, Stangeria
eriopus
Cycads
* Division: Cycadophyta
* Class: Cycadopsida
* SubClass:
* Order: Cycadales
* SubOrder:
* Family: Stangeriaceae
Cycads were the first
seed plants on earth.
Cycadales are one of
the four major groups of gymnosperms and
are the most primitive
extant gymnosperm order. This ancient
Cycads family
(Zamiaceae), are known to have lived in the
Pangaea, and Permian
era, over 200 million years ago - even
before the dinosaurs
roamed the earth. The Age of Cycads,
began during the
Triassic Period of the earth's geological history
reached its peak during
the 60 million years of the Jurassic
Period and ended during
the Cretaceous Period, about 95 million
years ago. There are 9
groupings of cycads: Bowenia,
Cerotozamia, Cycas,
Dioon, Encephalartos, Macrozamia,
Microcycas, Stangeria,
and Zamia. There are about 300 species
of cycads.
Cycads are dioecious
(i.e. male and female reproductive
structures are borne on
separate plants). Though classified as
woody plants, they have
a pachycaul stem, a thick, soft stem or
trunk made up of
storage tissue with very little true wood. The
cycads have been
classified as "gymnosperms however recent
studies suggest some
members are closer to the flowering plants
than to other
"gymnosperms".
Stangeria was first
classified as a fern and named Lomaria
lagopus when it was
discovered in 1839. After plants that had
been sent to England
produced cones, it was reclassified.
Stangeria is a woody,
long-lived, unisexual plant, native to
eastern South Africa. The
leaves are fern-like, and reproductive
structure is a large
cone. The seeds of Stangeria are light pink to
brilliant scarlet and
are radiospermic. The Cycadales and
Ginkgoales are unique
among seed plants in having motile
sperm. The mature seeds
are dispersed by both birds and
squirrels, which eat
the fleshy outer coating, but not the seed
itself.
It is a host of the
cycad aulacaspis scale insect, while being
resistant to deer. It
was once part of the diet of the Maiasaura
dinosaur.
ZULU Medicine:
The Zulu's use the
Stangeria (which they call "imFingo"), as
protection against
lightning. If you plant a Stangeria alongside
each corner of your
house, your property will never be stuck by
lightning. Traditional
preparation is by chopping the trunk or and
allowing it to infuse
in cold water for 24 hours. It is taken orally
or as a suppository to
induce vomiting which is thought to
render the body
invisible to harmful spirits. It can also be
scattered around a
property in order to ward off evil spirits.
Burying the root of
this plant by a house is said to protect it
from lighting. Other
uses include relief of congestion and to
reduce blood pressure.
Medicinal properties:
poisoning, congestion, high blood
pressure, headaches,
flatulence, arthritis.
Parts of plant are
poisonous if ingested. Stangeria contains
Pyrrolizidine
alkaloids, occurring in various roots and leaves,
cyasin contained from
extracts of the cycad nut, and safrole, a
naturally - occurring
flavoring agent. It contains angiotensin
converting enzyme (ACE)
inhibitors.
Notes:
It was part of the diet
of the Maiasaura dinosaur.
This plant is resistant
to deer.
Native to eastern South
Africa.
Reproduce by coning and
has a caudex like other cycads.
Seeds of Stangeria are
light pink to brilliant scarlet and are
radiospermic. The
mature seeds are dispersed by both birds and
squirrels which eat the
fleshy outer coating, but not the seed
itself.
Hosts of the cycad
aulacaspis scale insect.
Woody, long-lived,
unisexual plant.
Only other cycad in
materia medica is Macrozamia spiralis.
The Proving
Proving was conducted
in double blind pure Hahnemannian
manner. A group of 14
provers on three continents, from five
nations participated.
Each prover was paired with a supervisor.
No one knew of the
substance except the organizer. Notebooks
were kept by both the
provers and supervisors.
The Stangeria was
purchased from a Cycad nursery. A leaf and
thin root offshoots of
the main root were sent to Hahnemann
Pharmacy for
potentizing.
Proving began in
January 2005.
MIND
Plant
There’s a kind of
“seed” energy in this. The dormancy and stasis, yet the enormous
latent energy
potential.
Day 2, prover 1
Rose perfume is
occasionally around, always to my left and slightly behind me when
sitting at my desk. Seems
to turn up when contemplating non-duality or writing about it
in a way that expresses
it clearly.
Day 9, prover 1
There were aspects of
the energy that felt plant-like, though definitely not angiosperm
(Lycopodium was
closest), but there were aspects of the energy that felt much more
solid, static, heavy,
compressed. Those aspects felt much more mineral-like.
Day XX, prover 1
Think it’s a plant;
cheerful remedy could be a deep acting remedy. It could be
poisonous plant. Arnica.
Makes her think of Arnica, or Lycopodium,
If you give Lyc to
someone who needs it, the person feels better, as Lyc, it is deeply
acting. If they are
very sick and you give Lyc, they have bad first reaction, but a normal
person, they just say I
feel good again, I can drive my car at night, I can read again.
Silicea.
Day 6, prover 3
Cold, wet, enchantment,
tremendous energy, darkness, apparent paralysis, issues
around movement, tectonic
plates shifting! The slowness of rocks, transformation,
delicacy and precision,
birth. There's the universe and the speck of cosmic dust.
Day 2, prover 1
General
More than once or twice
I've thought of Stephen Hawking. The symptoms of muscle
weakness and clumsiness
are conceivably in the right ballpark for the early symptoms
of MND,
Day XX, prover 1
In an absolutely Good
mood. Feeling fantastic. Lots of energy. Sleep more than usual.
Really fit. Actually
better. In March we've got snow and cold, no spring. And people are
getting ill with flu
from cold. I should be morose like all the others with winter getting on
nerves, but I feel just
fine. I feel really really good. Better than normal. Cheerful. A bit
edgy first few days.
On second and third day
of proving, lots of energy, and cheerful in good spirits. Good
mood. Think it's a
plant. Hallucinations make me think of plants. Animals are a lot
harder. Darker, more
sinister. If I wasn't driving car I would not have minded. I worry
step on brake and
someone bump into me because there was nothing for them to
expect. Feeling wasn't
scary, just odd. Seeing things that don't exist.
Day 6, prover 3
Surprisingly little on
the personal level. Not feeling any emotional perturbation. In
equable and contented
state. Finding it very hard to focus on the level of the
“personal”. Am either
out at the universal – even the entirety of existence – or down to
the level of the pixel.
Nothing in between. Having to work very hard to keep
commitments to
patients, children, friends, etc in focus. Also having to work hard to
observe and record
anything on the personal level to do with the proving.
Day 2, prover 1
The proving symptoms
developed from Psora (predominantly) to Sycosis.
The symptoms (red line)
I mentioned below were all Psoric symptoms.
Head symptoms - the
headache symptoms I described.
Skin Symptoms - like
fleabites in the upper part of the body.
Explosive Stool with
slight burning in the rectum.
General weakness not
better after eating.
A high Spiritual state
of calmness and serenity alternating with a sense of emotional
fragility.
Explosive anger lasting
two minutes.
The next stage of
Sycotic symptoms were manifest by the:
- 3 months of
amenorrhea along with
- The yellow staining
indelible discharge
My mental state also
corresponded to Nat mur, which is a predominantly sycotic
remedy:
A feeling of deep grief
like excruciating sadness that I had to keep within me and could
not express or talk
about with anyone. It was an underlying state that seemed to
become very prominent
by April. I think it was because of a decision I made in March
to let go of a
relationship that was a vital part of me. It was a decision that seems to
precipitate this
excruciating grief within (now I know what a Nat mur feels like!). This is
a sycotic miasmatic
state.
After taking Nat mur, I
realised that letting go of that relationship was detrimental
(anihilistic) to my
psyche and my soul and I have since maintained the bonds of that
relationship. This was
the decision that I said helped my mental state. My periods also
came back. I think the
proving remedy is Psoric Sycotic with a predominant Psoric
state.
Day XX, prover 4
Exploring the
chestnutty-red colour. The divinity Ekajati whose skin is this colour.
Ekajati has one eye,
one braid, one tooth, one breast. She signifies non-duality.
Chthonic, primordial.
Has iron scorpions in her hair, her tongue emits lightning bolts,
she rises up in flames,
controls the 8 classes of demonic beings. Hades and Admetos
rolled into one. Feel
that all the explorations of what’s behind this energy have finally
arrived.
Day 6, prover 1
Heavy/dark/down
Thought pops into my
head “this is like night and day” and immediately thought that
very reminiscent of the
Sulphur energy picture.
Day 4, prover 1
00:00:00 Down, down,
sinking down. Want to lie down. HEAVY Everything – head,
chest, arms. HEAVY. CAVERNOUS
and heavy. Immense crushing weight and
nothingness. Head is
empty. No brain. No thoughts. Slight ache in left biceps. Muscles
all feel very relaxed,
like they no longer have the strength to hold up. Pleasantly so
though. Jaw is
dropping. Salivary glands feel as if made of lead, quite painful they're
so heavy. Feel like
they're dragging down. Submaxillary glands are tender. Now
weight is in bones of
skull. Like the bones themselves are incredibly dense and heavy.
[Cat sat on my chest at
this point, like he's adding his weight.] Not an uncomfortable
sensation. Quite
relaxing. "Lay your body down." The silence is gorgeous. Love it!
Expansive feeling in throat,
yet contractive. Like it's expanding to fit a container. Gust
of wind hit the house. Hadn't
noticed any wind earlier.
Day 1, prover 1
In speaking to
supervisor, kept talking about researching stuff in terms of “following it
down”.
Day 3, prover 1
What was very strong
was the desire to constantly listen to the deepest note I could
find. I spent most of
the proving listening to De Profundis (Arvo Part) and the Tuvan
throat singers.
Day XX, prover 1
Dark and silence. Felt
like the remedy wanted to be taken in the dark.
Day 1, prover 1
Immediate sinking down
feeling on taking the remedy. Going down. Chest, neck, arms.
Weight and slowness. Empty.
No thought. Jaw dropping. Salivary glands like made of
lead…sinking.
Day 1, prover 1
Feeling of complete
stasis, yet writing fluid and easy.
Day 1, prover 1
Daughter wanted the
bedroom door closed last night. First time ever she's slept
without some light. Said
she'd come to the conclusion that it was easier to sleep in the
dark. Brother is
delighted because he prefers the dark.
Day 1, prover 1
Daughter was very weepy
at school today and when I finally got it out of her why, she
said she was missing
the kitten that was killed. Interesting. I had thought this energy
might touch her. So
we've got the DARK and LOSS again.
Day 1, prover 1
Not so conscious of the
heaviness once I'm up and about, though there is a loss of
muscular strength.
Day 1, prover 1
Tendency to sit. When I
do, my head is quite simply empty. Get the impression it's
slow and dark and deep.
Day 1, prover 1
Yeats' "Second
Coming" is reverberating --
Turning and turning in
the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear
the falconer;
Things fall apart, the
centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed
upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide
is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of
innocence is drowned;
The best lack all
conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate
intensity.
Surely some revelation
is at hand.
Surely the Second
Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly
are those words out
When a vast image out
of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight;
somewhere in the sands of the desert
A shape with lion body
and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and
pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow
thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the
indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops
again; but now I know
That twenty centuries
of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare
by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast,
its hour come round at last,
Slouches toward
Bethlehem to be born?
Day 1, prover 1
The sunspot thing was
to do with their numbers. This latest one -- 720 -- sums to nine.
So it's like 9 is the
"key" to revealing the sunspot energy release signature. If you
divide 720 by 9 though,
you get 80, and if you divide again by 9 then you get 8.888888
recurring, so this
seems like 8 energy. Transformation and bringing the collective
unconscious to
awareness. The "number of transformation and timeless space "
(Norman Shine).
Lemniscate – the sign for infinity. Seems pertinent. There's certainly
echoes of timeless
space in this energy.
Cold, wet, enchantment,
tremendous energy, darkness, apparent paralysis, issues
around movement,
tectonic plates shifting! The slowness of rocks, transformation,
delicacy and precision,
birth. There's the universe and the speck of cosmic dust.
Day 2, prover 1
Falling sensation
I woke up with a strong
sense of giddiness. Actually it was a sense of FALLING
towards the LEFT side. I
felt this as soon as I sat up from bed, and the sensation
continued quite strongly
for at least 15 minutes. It gradually tapered off in half an hour.
The only thing
different I did last night was that I had a small glass of beer.
Day 6, Prover 4
Serene during
stress/efficient
Things seem in control
and I’m not worried about getting things done.
Day 3, Prover 4
I continued to feel a
sense of efficiency.
Day 5, Prover 4
I was not disappointed
or affected by things that did not seem to be going too well, and
not even very much
affected by the tantrums of the kids at my daughter’s birthday
party.
Day 5, Prover 4
It has been a very
smooth day in general. I don't know whether this is a definite effect
of the remedy, but
considering what I was going though a few days back, I'd say the
remedy is certainly
having a very calming effect today rather than any agitation within
me. I feel benevolent
towards everyone, and feel like things are going right for me.
Day 3, Prover 4
Today it’s easier to
accept that I may have to wait a long time for things to be resolved
(with a relationship
from the past). So today I don't feel sad about the present status. I
feel more energy to
send positive vibes of healing.
Day 3, Prover 4
I can handle a lot of
things going on without getting angry, impatient, overwhelmed,
physically and mentally
tired. I feel efficient and I'm doing what I have to do smoothly.
My state of mind is
calm in spite of how many things have to be taken care of.
Day 3, Prover 4
I have been able to
reach the remedy (for my patients) very quickly because I’m
perceiving the state
and the remedy very clearly. I perceive the problems and blocks in
their life very easily.
I’m able to understand project the causes and solutions of their
"states". In
short - I'm very high on "Inspiration" so there appears to be very
little
"perspiration."
Just now I have the backache (if I think about it) that signifies physical
exhaustion. But I'm
almost unaware of any exhaustion physically right now. There
have been many times
when I've felt like this - and it is often related to getting into a
deeply prayerful state,
after Mass or a Spiritual retreat. Today, it seems like it’s very
easy to be in this
state of mind. It feels like it’s my natural nature to be like this all the
time. So I think the
remedy must be assisting this feeling of being able to get into this
state more easily, in
spite of so much going on that would have distracted me in usual
circumstances.
Day 3, Prover 4
I am generally quite
perfectionist. So if aren't going to plan I "stress" out - get angry
with
people/inefficiency, upset with myself, worried about how little time there was
to
do everything, upset if
people are not helping or doing what they have to do to help.
Benevolence - I tend to
be a benevolent person if you take away the times I'm
impatient or angry with
lack of efficiency or when my kids don't listen to me...I care
about other people, at
the same time I can be insensitive in my expectations. Today - I
think I’m on a better
balance of benevolence without much impatience or insensitivity.
Day 3, Prover 4
I think the remedy must
be giving me some ability to handle more than I usually can.
Day 4, Prover 4
Merging with others
I seemed to sense
things about people more acutely, as in their internal feelings or
now they were feeling. I
seemed to sense the dynamics between elope more acutely. I
was able in some way to
respond to this more appropriately as well, in a helpful
manner.
Day 5, Prover 4
Manic talking. Saying
things I would have held back on before. Prior barriers of ‘my’
sense of propriety
lifted (not inappropriate).
Day 3, prover
I think I was
understanding and supportive and able to see the other person’s point of
view.
Day 5, Prover 4
Boundaries
I won't tolerate any
more unnecessary emotional expectations beyond what I'm able to
give. I refuse to
stretch myself.
Day 9-11, Prover 4
I've decided that
enough is enough regarding certain things. I decided that I did not
want to give in to
daughters 4 year old tantrusm any more. IT was time to set things
right or I would go
insane. I certainly felt like I was nearly over the edge in a few
occasions while arguing
with her. My response the last 2 days was to either scream at
her to stop or just
drop things and leave the room. The important things though is that
I've made up my mind
just now that enough is enough otherwise its my sanity that is
clearly at stake.
Day 6-8, Prover 4
Concentration/organization
Cannot focus on anything
but website programming. Feel the rest of my life is getting
away from me. Scattered
all over the place like the state of the house. Even forget to
put the rubbish out for
the bin men. Can’t get myself to write proving log, though
reasonably good at keeping
in contact with supervisor – will have to rely on her record.
Can’t get myself to
start on huge amount of work I have to get completed.
Day 6, prover 1
Still trying to get to
this work I need to do. Simply cannot get started. There is an
enormous resistance to
this. Even the times I’ve had to push myself hard to get things
like taxes done pales
into insignificance beside the amount of willpower I’m having to
build up here to do
this.
Day 12, prover 1
Hard to get going on
work commitments again, despite thinking yesterday’s start might
have paved the way. Realise
am overwhelmed by the amount of detail in what I have
to work with. It’s too
much. Needs condensing, distilling. Needs to be pared down to
the essentials.
Day 13, prover 1
Hard work to stay focused
and on task.
Day 3, prover 1
Still no inclination to
get on with work commitments.
Day 4, prover 1
Yesterday I was missing
lots of vowels out of words when writing. Today, when typing,
I'm putting lots of
extra vowels in.
Day 2, prover 1
Beginning to feel
slightly more organised.
Day 4, prover 1
Still unable to make
notes on this proving or get on with the other work on the
computer that I need
to. Becoming a little frustrated with all this. The frustration
engages willpower. If I
get frustrated enough about not being able to do something
then I’ll manage to
achieve escape velocity.
Day 9, prover 1
This proving really
does not want me to work on other energies, but I have to get this
done in the next two
weeks because I promised I would.
Day 11, prover 1
Several instances of
discovering that I’d double-booked myself.
Day 9, prover 1
Determined to get to
grips with work commitment, which is now becoming really
pressing. Realise am
able to see things in a non-dual way much more easily. Ekajati
again?
Day 10, prover 1
Got down to work and
managed 10 hours straight. So much so, completely forgot to
go to local theatre
event for which I had a ticket. Remembered it around the time the
performance would have
been finishing.
Day 16, prover 1
Next day discovered
that one of the pieces of work I’d completed had already been
done by someone else. Checked
out next one on the list. Supposedly that was OK, but
2 days later heard back
that this one had been done already too, after I’d managed to
put in 3 hours work on
it, though less than I’d planned. Seems that whenever I fall
behind with the work,
then I don’t have to do it anyway!
Day 16, prover 1
Need to get on with
this work I need to complete. Still finding it hard. As soon as I
finally get started on
it, tiredness returns with a vengeance. Can barely concentrate on
what I’m doing. Losing
the plot, forgetting things between the book and the computer.
These are the symptoms
I’m working with, so which energy is causing this?
Day 19, prover 1
Start to study XHTML
and discover it’s XML rather than HTML that is particular about
nested commands. X
marks the spot then?
Day 20, prover 1
Worked on new section
of website all day, tinkering and fine-tuning.
Sitting next to German
people at a concert, and listening to the language found it
entrancing and musical
instead of coarse and guttural as usual. Momentarily thought
about learning it.
Day 24, prover 1
Grief/detachment
I woke up with a
feeling of not being entirely happy, that I was incomplete and the
situation is not
perfect as it could be. A vague feeling of not being accepted. This
passed off in a couple
of hours.
Day 2, Prover 4
I feel very calm this
morning. I miss a particular relationship, but it seems easier this
morning to accept it.
Day 3, Prover 4
I have been enjoying
(truly) reading stories to my kids about William Brown (by
Richmael Crompton),
truly feeling joy at that naughtily little boy ways. And in stark
contrast is the grief I
feel within (re: the relationship). Then the next emotion is
detachment and
acceptance. But with this situation it can only be temporary. A lot of
this is new - like I
said - there is also a concomitant Spiritual movement taking place.
But I'm certain this
remedy is facilitating things in this direction.
Day 6, Prover 4
I am in the middle of a
Spiritual transformation of sorts and have decided to do a meal
fasting for this. AFTER
TAKING THE DOSE: I was able to tolerate the fasting quite
well. No problem with
it. The spiritual response/change has been very positive. I don't
feel indifferent any
more, but more like detached.
Prover 4, day 1
Frailty
After the sense of
being easily able to reach a spiritual place, came a sense of Frailty
or being more
vulnerable or realizing my emotional limits. The feeling of mental frailty
and limits was quite a
clear demarcation the last two days.
Day 6-8, Prover 4
Driving
At 8:20 had to get
daughter, by car. Dark outside, I was out of town.
While driving, I saw a
man, black trousers, tan colored jacket, running onto the street. I
braked and man was
gone. Like a hallucination. Further down, a field, saw something,
it was a log of wood. Next,
driving home, I saw a flash of light. I asked daughter what
was the reflection. A
tiny car plate, license place. On house to show car parking place.
High up wall. Came to
me like a flash of lighting. All traffic lights strange, lights very
red. What shall I do
with all that stuff? To smoke tobacco, I was told.
Day 1, prover 3
Delusions: As if
someone shining a flashlight into my eyes, not white but yellow light.
Light reflecting from
metal on the wall appeared very bright.
Day 6, prover 3
Hallucinations while
driving.
Motorbike cast a violet
shadow. Motorbike was real, light from the shadow appeared
as blue/purple light.
Day 7, prover 3
While driving,
awareness of the reflection of dashboard on side window.
Day 7, prover 3
More incidents with
people not seeing me overtaking them and moving out into the
middle of the road as I
was doing so. Again having to use the horn. No adrenalin with
this – knew they were
going to do it. Just annoyance with them failing to use their
mirrors. Like the
annoyance with people who won’t look into the mirror of life and see
their own shadows.
Day 3, prover 1
The same thing happened
overtaking a slow motorist as had been happening before –
overtook and as I drew
up into their blind spot they pulled out into the middle of the
road. Had to slam the
horn on again. Knew it was going to happen when I came up
behind them, at least a
mile before I was finally able to overtake.
Day 25, prover 1
I am an excellent
driver most of the time. But today, I had the car scratched because I
did not see someone on
a two-wheeler very close to the car on the left side, while I
was concentrating on
taking a right turn. This surprised me very much because I had
not seen him at all! Of
course he was in the wrong place but ideally I would have
slowed and waited for
him to move ahead before I looked for the right turn. I’m still a
bit confused about what
happened. Throughout though, the spacey feeing continued
and a feeling of lack
of accurate judgment while driving even though I was
concentrating on my
driving.
Day 5, Prover 4
This energy seems to
involve: shamanism, the chestnutty-reddish-brown colour,
shadow issues, things
sneaking up in your blind spot and stealing your energy.
Realise that the latter
exactly echoes what’s been happening while driving – people
not seeing me as I’m
overtaking them because I’ve snuck up behind them and am
sitting in their blind
spot.
Day 5, prover 1
I parked the car and
bumped against a tree in the rear. Fortunately nothing happened.
Day 1, prover 3
Almost get hit by a car
while riding my bicycle. Scary- car came within inches.
Day 18, prover 5
Want to stop the
proving (the bicycle incident scared me).
Day 19, prover 5
Can feel the energy
departing from the driving seat in my consciousness. It’s still
about, but sitting in
the back seat now.
Day 36-51, prover 1
Went for drinks
afterwards, which involved a long steep hill in the snow. The car
acquitted itself
impeccably. Not even a hint of wheel-spin, though I could see by the
tracks that others had
been spinning and sliding all over the place. Seemed to echo
my mental state –
sure-footed and confident.
Day 11, prover 1
Truth
Strength in
character/thoughts. More ability to stand up for myself and speak my truth
than I have ever had
the strength for in the past. (CURATIVE.)
Day 2, prover 3
Mind feels clearer than
it ever has before, like I can see truth clearly. (CURATIVE.)
Day 2, prover 3
Still in a space of
strength and clarity.
Day 3, prover 3
I know I can't be hurt
because I am on the right side. It is hard to be sure if things will
turn out right. I feel
protected, cannot be harmed. I feel safe. Everything will turn out.
Confident that truth
will come out. Confident that the rights things will happen and truth
will be revealed.
Day 7, prover 3
At night I was
concerned about two issues. In both the issues it had to do with
"truth".
One concerned a woman I
was talking to. I was concerned that she understood the
truth of what I was
telling her and was not going away with a misunderstanding about
me or what I was
saying. The other was about whether I needed to be open about the
truth of a situation
with someone who was not directly connected to it. I was afraid that
she may have found out
the truth (which I hadn't really hidden) but she may be holding
some sort of resentment
against me with it. Both these are not new situations, but that
they seemed to become
issues last night may be significant.
Day 1, prover 4
Work going well- busy
doing homeopathic cases and felt capable and energized. Glad
for the opportunity to
solve these cases. Also felt my inner strength and values were
fortified and decided
to end a dating relationship, which felt superficial and unfulfilling.
Day 1, prover 5
People behaving
wrongly. Makes me not in a good mood. I don't speak up for myself.
I was in a good mood in
spite. In the end truth will win. Hard to trust and rely on it and
not fear, but instead I
felt safe. Everything will turn out.
Day 10, prover 3
Confidence/clarity
I’m still feeling very
strong, and clear and in really good spirits…a little higher than I
usually am, like the
first time I took a remedy, which was Ign. and it made me feel very
ecstatic and bubbly.
Day 4, prover 3
Cheerful more energy in
high spirits, not exalted or manic, just feel really really good.
Day 6, prover 3
Have lots of energy and
clear focus. Strong determination in place “I can do it!”
(CURATIVE.)
Day 5, prover 3
In evening went to
charity fundraising ball. Normally would have felt self-conscious and
out of place at such an
event, but comfortable and confident being there and watching
people. Also was not
drawn to engage with people in the way that I normally am – no
desire to establish
empathy. Felt in a parallel existence to them. In the same space but
on different tracks. They
all seemed very ordinary and mortal.
Day 16, prover 1
Decided to add a whole
new section to website, so spent day trying to find out how to
program it to get it to
work elegantly and properly. Stayed up until nearly 3am doing
this. Worked very well
and the code validated first time! Damn! I’m getting good at this!
Day 23, prover 1
Clarity is waning.
Day 6, prover 3
All that beautiful
conscious clarity is gone…sigh. I really enjoyed having it around
Day 7, prover 3
The wonderful clarity
and joy has now gone the opposite direction. I’m feeling lost,
forlorn, like I can’t
find direction, and everything feels like it’s just too much for me to
figure out.
Day 8, prover 3
A nasty woman vanished
from the staff room. I was on a committee and I realigned
because people were
talking of others behind their back. And they put a note out that I
resigned for personal
reason, and I laughed. I was not anxious when I resigned, as I
would have usually
been.
Day 10, prover 3
Finish website and take
the huge step of putting it up. Feel a bit vulnerable and
exposed – like this is
a big step to be taking, and wondering if I’ll regret it once the
proving energy has
subsided. In this state it’s fine – feel so much more positive about
my viewpoint,
uncompromising, no need to pander to or make concessions to the
prevailing “wisdom” any
more. People will accept it if they resonate with it and can see
it for themselves. If
they don’t, they don’t. That’s fine. But it needs to get “out there”.
Supervisor suddenly
realises that since she took my baseline case she’s been working
on her website! She
hadn’t seen the connection because she’d been working on the
content, leaving the
design and programming to someone else, but suddenly realised
what she was doing.
Day 9, prover 1
Much freer that usual
in singing lesson. More confident. Singing teacher very pleased.
Enormous fun singing
together.
Day 11, prover 1
At choir only 17 people
(out of 50) turned up because of the snow. Normally this would
have made me feel
exposed and affected my singing, but not in the least bit bothered.
Sang out loud and proud
and enjoyed it immensely, particularly singing with the two
others in my row. We
worked really well together – just like this morning’s lesson and
singing the duet with
my teacher – and the enjoyment was infectious. Went for drinks
afterwards, which
involved a long steep hill in the snow. The car acquitted itself
impeccably. Not even a
hint of wheel-spin, though I could see by the tracks that others
had been spinning and
sliding all over the place. Seemed to echo my mental state –
sure-footed and
confident.
Day 11, prover 1
Otherwise in a really
good space. Enormous contentment. Good energy. Very happy
with my life. This is
like back to where I was before this proving started, but more so
because there is more
solidity to it.
Day 12, prover 1
Jinxed
Overall, nothing has
gone easily, feel Jinxed. Things go wrong or take a while to
resolve.
Day 4, prover 5
Once again feel jinxed-
a financial mess at work, felt almost betrayed by a former
person who moved out of
our offices. I have had an increased financial burden and
she wants me to pick up
more of it. Almost feel overwhelmed by it all.
Day 18, prover 5
Anger
Couple of angry
episodes over trivial things but they really made me upset; I couldn't
control myself and stop
shouting. The sudden anger. Then I’m fine. They mostly
happened in the
evening. I found my kids curiously and concernedly peering at my
face wondering what was
the matter with me. They probably think I've flipped my lid
finally.
Day 20, prover 4
The explosive, sudden
anger episodes have passed I think. It may be because I went
to mass yesterday
evening and prayed as well. I continue to feel slightly detached
from things.
Day 6, Prover 4
It’s midnight now. I
had one or two episodes of losing my shirt in the evening - for
exactly two minutes
each time. I exploded/shouted a little too loudly for some things
that were quite
insignificant actually. I sort of observed this behaviour like a third
person at a distance
telling myself there was no need for me to do that, I could have
said things differently
and understood the situation differently. I was actually seriously
trying to understand
the situation from the other person's point of view. I was actually
trying out in my mind
different ways I could have responded instead! My anger
resolved pretty quickly
- but it usually does.
Day 4, Prover 4
There continued to be
outbursts of explosive anger though, where I give one sudden
shout and then keep quietly
angry to myself, which passes off in a few minutes. The
anger is related to the
feeling of my intentions not being understood, or lack of
understanding on
someone else's part. Also in some way to inappropriate responses
(childish) from others.
The expectation is that they behave in a more "adult" like
manner or understand
the circumstances more clearly without preconceived notions.
Then I feel that I’m
tired of taking the burden of working things out, I don't need to take
on additional
responsibilities when it keeps troubling me to do so.
Day 5, Prover 4
Anxiety about future
About 7.30 pm: a
feeling of apprehension in the epigastrium region. As if expecting
some bad news or
results. Lasted for about an hour.
Day 3, Prover 4
Tired
Completely mesmerised
by the sight, sound and feel of the cat washing himself while
sitting on my lap. Could
watch (typed “wash” initially) him all day. Sends me to sleep.
Day 3, prover 1
Still mesmerised by cat
washing himself. He’s very smelly today. Lots of farting
smelling of hydrogen
sulphide.
Day 4, prover 1
Went to bed at 11pm,
very tired.
Day 3, prover 1
Still some difficulty
getting myself to get out of bed.
Day 4, prover 1
Still hard to get up in
the morning. Just want to lie there. If I do, then fall back asleep at
the drop of a hat,
despite having apparently woken fully beforehand. Seems just like
the website thing –
can’t get away from it, keep getting drawn back to it and requires a
huge effort of will to
break away to do something else. Though when I do break away,
it’s fine. Can get on
with what I need to. It’s like there’s a gravitational field around the
website and around
sleep. The willpower required to achieve escape velocity is
considerable, but once
free there’s no attraction unless I come within range of the field
again (going to bed, or
sitting down at the computer).
Day 6, prover 1
Hard to get out of bed
again.
Day 13, prover 1
Being immersed back in
the energy again noticed I had virtually nothing to eat all day
and stayed up until
2.00am working on the web page!
Day 52, prover 1
Still entranced by
watching the cat wash himself. Even more so if he’s sitting on me or
in contact with me
while doing so.
Day 13, prover 1
Duality
Tried to explain
something of the non-dual perspective afforded by this energy and
realised that they
simply could not see it – couldn’t step outside of duality to see what I
was getting at. Like
the cartoon of the two fishes with one saying to the other “so
what’s this ‘ocean’ you
keep talking about then?” The more personally identified they
were in the concepts I
was talking about, the more disturbed and defensive they
became.
Day 14, prover 1
Very tired all day. Completed
the circle on the relationship between passion and
patient. Have been
working on this – both derive from the Latin pati to suffer/endure.
Passion can be a
suffering, but also an indication of strong feeling and vocation, as in
“follow your passion”. Phrase
of Ian Watson’s– “suffering serves to remind us to be
true to ourselves”
provided the link. Needing to see this in non-dualistic terms.
Suffering without the
usual qualities attached to it is simply to undergo (= endure). In
this sense, it equates
to the Buddhist idea of life=suffering, in others words, life is an
undergoing.
Day 17, prover 1
My notes for the
seminar (only one side of a page) were quite different to my usual
style. All the points
I’d recorded are mapped out visually and relationally, rather than
listed sequentially.
Focused on the nested concentric circles used to depict Jung’s
levels of consciousness
– personal conscious, personal unconscious, collective
unconscious, and beyond
that to the “unknowable” (yet experience-able) non-dual
ground of being or what
Ian referred to as the Tao. Lighted on his emphasising that *it
doesn’t give a shit*. Fitted
perfectly with what I had been trying to tease out from the
phrases “universal
unconditional love” and “compassion”: that the former is simply
existing in a state in
which the experience of the fundamental interconnectedness of
existence is a constant
reality, and the latter is “with another’s undergoing”, nothing
more, nothing less. Stripped
of gooey sentimentality and all the attachments of virtue
and personal
projections, both ideas reveal themselves in their perfection.
Day 17, prover 1
Have this image of a
vast double vortex within the consciousness-space-time
continuum and the idea
that we are travelling towards its narrow-point – hence the
increased velocity and
sense of compression many people are reporting – in order to
pass through some
interdimensional boundary.
Day 28-34, prover 1
There’s still an
aversion to this plodding linear sequential means of recording
information when it
feels like it should be visual, dynamic and relational.
Day 36-51, prover 1
A lot of the time feel
almost as if I exist in some parallel dimension. Here but not here.
Day 6, prover 1
Color
Lots of tinkering with
programming of websites and the colour of a very rich reddish
chestnut brown.
Day 1, prover 1
When I woke up this
morning I had this thought just pop into my head "green is the
colour of nature".
Also the day the remedy arrived, I had another parcel which was a
book I'd ordered -- The
Secret Teachings of Plants by Stephen Harrod Buhner -- which
talks all about the
heart as an organ of perception, specifically the perception of the
energies of the natural
world, which, at least in respect of plants, is predominantly
green. Researched the
role of Sulphur in plant metabolism and found that, aside from
being necessary in
protein metabolism, it’s involved in maintaining the dark *green*
colour in leaves. Also
in stimulating seed production.
Day 2, prover 1
I kept saying “out of
the blue” when talking about things that had happened.
Day 3, prover 1
This energy seems to
involve: shamanism, the chestnutty-reddish-brown colour,
shadow issues, things
sneaking up in your blind spot and stealing your energy.
Realise that the latter
exactly echoes what’s been happening while driving – people
not seeing me as I’m
overtaking them because I’ve snuck up behind them and am
sitting in their blind
spot.
Day 5, prover 1
Music
Music Bach, Mozart,
Wagner, singing German opera.
Day 1, prover 1
Sitting next to German
people at a concert, and listening to the language found it
entrancing and musical
instead of coarse and guttural as usual. Momentarily thought
about learning it.
Day 24, prover 1
Listening to a piece of
music with a very strong base rhythm and the word
“fundamental” comes
into my head, both in the context of the song and in the bottom
resonance in overtone
chanting. Entranced by the word. Want to be in fundamental
resonance. Look up the
word “fundament” and find: 1. The buttocks, the anus. 2. The
natural features of a
land surface unaltered by humans. 3. A foundation, as of a
building. 4. An
underlying theoretical basis or principle. [Middle English foundement,
from Old French
fondement, from Latin fundamentum from fundare, to lay the
foundation, from
fundus, bottom.] Interesting connections! The bottom/anus seems
appropriate in view of
slight constipation, but also realise a lot of my recent
dissatisfaction and
frustration with conversations on lists, etc, is that they’re not
fundamental enough.
Day 13, prover 1
Decide on a whim to
have a bath (usually only have showers). The first lines of Yeats’
“Second Coming” are in
my head again – “Turning and turning in the widening gyre,
the falcon cannot hear
the falconer …” And Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwock “’Twas brillig,
and the slithey toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe.” It’s that word “gyre”. Look it up
and find “i) A circular
or spiral form, a vortex. ii) A circular or spiral motion, especially a
circular ocean current;
to turn round, to gyrate. iii) A round shape formed by a series of
concentric circles.”
Seems resonant with these repeating dreams about nested
objects/descriptions in
some way. Also a thesaurus gives dybbuk in connection with
gyre. Seems to connect
with the exorcism theme that cropped up yesterday.
Day 13, prover 1
Misc
Took the kids swimming
but for the first time didn’t go in with them. Didn’t feel like it
and particularly didn’t
want to end up even stiffer than I was after that bath.
Day 18, prover 1
Following day notice
strong perfume of roses to my left while sitting at my desk. See if
this tracks back to a
rose candle I have in the room, but it disappears about two feet
behind my chair. Hangs
around for a while, then is gone.
Day 6, prover 1
Wake up at 9.30am and
realise I should already be at an appointment. When I get
back find that there is
barely enough electricity getting through to light a light bulb. Not
enough to provide
ignition for the central heating and hot water, the modem, the fridge
and freezer, or to boil
a kettle or cook my tea. Turns out there'd been a power cut
earlier in the morning
but it had triggered something seriously wrong with the power
supply to this
immediate area. The lights went out completely around 5pm and didn't
come back until
midnight. They had to replace an overhead cable. Interesting, given
this other-dimensionality
I've been feeling. So now I've been rewired too!! Didn’t phone
supervisor because her
number was in the computer and I’d crawled into my bed to
keep warm and fallen
asleep so missed our agreed time slot.
Day 7, prover 1
Couldn’t use the computer,
or clean the house so tidied up the children’s bedroom and
moved the guinea pigs
onto the grass – both things I’ve been trying to get done for
some time. Seemed to
break the spell of working on the website somewhat. After
stone carving realised
that the same exacting attention to detail I was applying to the
website I was also
applying to the carving.
Day 7, prover 1
Electricity restored. Determined
to give the house a good clean. Something seems to
have shifted. The
impetus to go hunting down the shamanism/colour/nature of the
energy connections has
evaporated.
Day 8, prover 1
Wondered how driving on
the motorway would be and remained extra vigilant for
people not seeing me in
their blind spot. Sure enough a transit van almost pulls out
from behind a lorry in
front of me, but sees me just in time.
Day 8, prover 1
Still large
gravitational field around website and sleep.
Day 9, prover 1
The not-thereness and
lack of coordination is back.
Day 25, prover 1
Up until 3am tinkering
with website again.
Day 25, prover 1
Thinking of way to
summarise proving energy, hit on idea of web page. Spent all day
working on it including
sound clips, working on trying to define the exact colour of the
chestnutty reddish
brown, etc. Rose scent around a lot.
Day 52, prover 1
DREAMS
Unremembered
00:07:00 Lots of dreams
but couldn't quite catch them.
Day 1, prover 1
No dreams recalled
though many.
Day 5-6, prover 1
Still unable to catch
dreams.
Day 9, prover 1
No more dreams about
nested descriptions for a while. Still can’t grasp dreams. Aware
that there’s another
repeating element, but can’t grasp it.
Day 28-34, prover 1
Family, parents
I woke this very early
this morning dreaming of my mom and dad. I dreamt that my dad
was seriously ill in a
hotel (hospital?) and we were desperately trying to find a cure for
him. He seemed to be
getting slightly better and would be coming home soon, but
suddenly my mom gets
seriously ill along with him in the hotel (hospital?). This was
very upsetting, as my
dad cannot bear my mom being ill. So he would probably
deteriorate and die
very quickly as well. The next scene is we're in the Hotel
(hospital?) gardens and
my mom is in a plane on her way to Mumbai (?). Apparently
the plane tried to take
off but could not gain altitude. Then tried to come closer and
inform us that there
was a problem of crashing, then tried to gain altitude again. But
again failed, with any
number of weird and strong spins, and began to nosedive. I
watched this whole
process with a lot of other people in the garden. The place was
going to crash and of
cause everyone on it was going to die, including my mother. As
the plane crashed on
the ground, someone tried to get to it and see if anyone could be
saved, while I was
working more to get all the people to run to the other side of the
building. I succeeded,
because my concern was to save their lives from a possible
explosion in the plane.
So though I was very
upset about my mother being in the plane
and may be
dead, I had to save the people around me first.
Day 5, Prover
4
Homeopathy
Dreams of
treating a baby who I inherit as a patient from another homeopath. The
baby had been
prescribed Carc and, while feeling that it’s not quite the remedy to hit
the nail on
the head, see no harm in repeating as nothing else is coming screaming
through. I
even have the actual remedy the previous homeopath prescribed. It’s
unusual –
instead of pillules there are sugar sticks about two inches long, which the
baby is supposed
to suck. Two colleagues and previous tutors look at my case notes
and say that
they think the baby should have Saccharum officinale instead – sugar.
Day 2, prover
1
Dream that
night is disturbing. Dreamt I did not follow through on something I told a
patient I
would do. Felt badly-wanted to do what I said right away.
Day 6, prover
5
House
Of being in a
large house which is an ecologically sound self-sufficient construction.
The house I
am in is too large for my liking. There are two other houses, a medium
sized one and
a smaller one yet. Like Daddy bear, Mummy bear and Baby bear. I go
to the medium
sized one and find my neighbours there. It’s their house (in reality they
have a
ecologically-principled wooden house though it looks a bit different from the
one in my
dream). I’m seriously considering building one myself (in reality I plan to
design and
build such a house, but it’s a long-term project) thinking that there’s no
point in
reinventing the wheel and I might as well go for the same Canadian kit they
did. I’m
asking them about the website address so I can find out more.
Day 2, prover
1
Confidence
Impression of
many more dreams all around proving themes and the message
“Everything
will be OK”.
Day 2, prover
1
Enormous
number of dreams. Caught some and felt so confident of remembering
them didn’t
specifically nudge myself awake enough to write them down. The minute
waking mind
started up, they were gone. Frustrated at this, but in just lying there, not
falling back
into sleep but with mind just still, all of a sudden, the dreams came back.
Never had
that happen before. Usually once they’re gone they’re gone.
Day 2, prover
1
Portions
Many dreams
but couldn’t recollect any of them except the idea that a few revolved
around the
theme of portions – dividing things up into portions.
Day 3, prover
1
Finding
somewhere to eat
Dreams: of
being in Italy with a group of friends. Disjointed dream – friends and
scenes kept
changing, but a lot of it seemed to revolve around finding somewhere to
eat. We were
staying at a hotel which was full with some business convention which
we weren’t
part of. A lot of men in dark suits. Mealtimes were about finding
somewhere to
sit at long crowded tables with a lot of people. There was talk of a man
who smelled
very bad and everyone was trying to avoid the possibility of sitting near
him but
nobody knew who he was and if, or when, he was going to appear. Only a few
people seemed
to know what he looked like. I hadn’t yet found a seat and someone
was saying he
had just come in the door with a bottle of white Sauvignon.
Day 4, prover
1
Flood
Another scene
involved a flooded plaza. The flood was evidently a daily occurrence
when the tide
came in. The shops were only open when the tide was out. I was looking
down into the
water and could vaguely see a row of beautiful old arches, but when the
tide went out
the shop fronts were just wooden boarding. One of the shops there sold
shellfish and
kept them in the basement below the level of the water, but when we
came back
later looking forward to some shellfish a sign on the door said “frites and
mayonnaise”,
so we went elsewhere. Another scene involved finding our way through
tiny passages
in amongst the houses, discovering people’s front doors in all sorts of
unexpected
places. The friend I was with at that time, an old school friend, suddenly
sat down and
started crying, but I couldn’t find out why. Then the scene changed
again. Another
scene involved being in a record shop with my father.
Day 4, prover
1
Travel car
Dream:
disjointed, confused and chaotic, involving going all sorts of places with the
car
but in each
instance there were obstacles and despite going with the flow of it all,
nothing
seemed to flow right.
Day 18,
prover 1
Dreamt I hit
the car in front of me while driving, Stopped before I hit him.
Day 6-10,
prover 5
Recursion
Many dreams,
again mostly escaped me. Recalled one about translating the events
going on into
language – plain English this time rather than HTML or mathematical
equations.
Also one word – RECURSION.
Day 25,
prover 1
Birds
I am sleeping
and two birds come to land on the bed. I look up and the ceiling has a
damp,
becoming very wet spot. I’m concerned and wonder if my husband has seen
this and how
we’re going to take care of it. More and more birds are entering the
house and,
when I look at the damp/wet spot I see that it is now a perfectly large
hole/entrance
for the birds. It’s rounded, like the entrance to a birdhouse.
Day 3, prover
3
Snow, church
Dream: I’m
travelling and end up in a Church. I don’t feel like I belong here, even
though I know
the people and even though I follow the procession to greet the
minister, I
prepare to leave. I take a plane to Switzerland and arrive when the snow is
the most
beautiful, and it is very cold. I meet a friend there, and await the arrival of
my
husband, who
was in the church with me.
Day 4, prover
3
Html/geometry
Dream: I am
awaiting the correct Harmonic before proceeding and I observe my
crystal self
emerging.
Day 3, prover
3
More dreams
of mapping reality into programming language. The chestnut brown
colour
resurfaces.
Day 22,
prover 1
Woke up with
fair bit of dream remembered but lost most of it by the time I came to
record it.
There was something about concocting a magic potion that needed a hair
from a dog. A
common theme running through seems to be scenes echoing the
happenings of
the previous day.
Day 12,
prover 1
Know I have
been dreaming a lot about programming websites and the getting of the
hair of the
dog echoed a friend pulling hair from their dog’s coat last night.
Day 12,
prover 1
Snatch of
dreams – something about nesting commands within HTML, i.e. however
more specific
commands are nested within larger area definitions, etc.
Day 13,
prover 1
Dream of a
piece of artwork with smaller pictures nested inside larger ones and of
trying to
describe that mathematically and in computer programming language.
Wondering
what this dream theme is about since it seems to keep repeating, and
physicist
David Bohm’s concept of enfoldedness and implicate order comes to mind.
Day 14,
prover 1
Dream: of
watching and participating in a series of events which took place within a
computer
screen. At the top of the screen were the phrases of the programming
language
describing what was going on. There were so many nested clauses that
colour was
introduced to the text, one colour for each clause, so that it would be
apparent where
each began and ended and if any one of them hadn’t been closed
properly to
allow it all to work as it should.
Day 19,
prover 1
Water, salt
I begin with
my feet soaking in a tub of salt water. I find myself in a place where the
salt is SO
present that I can smell it, taste it, and even feel the grit between my teeth.
It
is a black
salt and, as I put it into the water that my feet are soaking in, I see that my
legs have
become black salt coated almost all the way up to the top of my thighs. I
take a hose
to wash it off. Suddenly the bedroom is covered with the salt water,
including the
bed linens, a sleeping bag, etc. and I think that I will have to throw things
out because
they are getting covered with the salt water. Suddenly the water is flowing
out to a
lake, which is in the west corner of the room. When I awake from this dream,
the salt was
SO present in the dream that I am surprised that I don’t taste or smell it in
my waking
period.
Day 15,
prover 3
Dream fear
Dream that
night was Fearful non-specific-do not remember details. Woke up feeling
disturbed.
During night felt like I could catch a cold.
Day 3, prover
5
Grief
Dream of
grief for my father who died 34 years ago. The grief was for now-present
day. He died
suddenly, just before I started medical school, so at that time had to keep
going and it
never sank in.
Day 6-10,
prover 5
Pregnant
I was
pregnant. Very realistic.
I even tried
to figure out the due date. I year minus 3 months and a few days,
calculating.
I don't know how I got pregnant, who made it, as I have no partner at
moment, but
didn't bother about that. When was child due? I was about 5th month
pregnant. Due
date I figured out was May or June. When I woke up realized it can't be,
the belly was
gone.
Day 2, prover
3
VERTIGO
Suddenly,
this afternoon, I began to feel dizziness, bordering on ‘passing out’. Any fast
movement, or
standing up caused the dizziness. Only thing that helped was staying
still and not
moving. Began at 4:30 PM. and ending around 7:30 PM, with energy
fluctuations
afterwards, like dizziness flowing in and out better with no movement (full
moon reaction
who knows!).
Day 7, prover
3
FACE
Discovered a
crop of small spots behind left ear. Also itching underneath right nostril,
beginning
around 9pm. Felt like the itch before the eruption of a cold sore. Also slight
itching
around margins of nostrils. Occasional itching on vertex. Seems to be some
association
with feeling shivery.
Day 3, prover
1
Threatening
herpetic eruption under right nostril disappeared. Spots behind left ear still
there. Slight
itching round margins of nose still, and occasional itch on vertex, not
always but
often accompanied by a shiver of cold.
Day 4, prover
1
Sensation in
bottom lip close to right hand corner as if cold sores will come. Not itchy,
though.
Heavy.
Day 5, prover
1
Itching
concentrated around margins of eyes and nostrils. Sensations of spots coming
to the
surface come and go. Occasionally a spot does actually surface, but they’re
usually gone
with 24 hours.
Day 6, prover
1
Skin of face
itchy at times.
Day 5, prover
1
Face and
scalp much itchier throughout day.
Day 6, prover
1
Itching still
coming and going. Some days it’s almost constant and everywhere, others
it’s very
slight and restricted to the areas around my nostrils and eyes, plus left side
of
vertex on
scalp. Doesn’t seem to be any factors I can correlate between itchy days
and non-itchy
days.
Day 8, prover
1
Crack in
right hand side of mouth appears again. Lips quite dry. Tendency to chew
inside of
cheek (childhood habit) much intensified – the inside of my cheek is a mess.
Breasts
beginning to feel a little fuller pre-menstrually. The loose association
between
itching left
vertex and a shiver of cold is no longer noticeable. Both still occurring but
not
noticeably correlated.
Day 16,
prover 1
Nose running
but not stuffed. Cough more frequent. Later on headache. Above eyes
and frontal
sinuses. Slight burning/heat in the pain. Better cold applications. Worse
movement,
using eyes. Extends backwards. Slightly affects vision and balance.
Sensation of
not being quite there or in control of body. Liable to bump into things,
poor
coordination. Took aspirin. It went.
Day 21,
prover 1
Throat
feeling slightly sore from late afternoon. A kind of tightness. Not so bad at
chewing the
right side of my face but notice I presently seem to have chewed a
circular
pattern.
Day 19,
prover 1
HEAD
Head, scalp.
Large flakes of dandruff and funny itch.
Day 1, prover
1
Scalp still
periodically itchy, now consistently to left side of vertex, and often
associated
with a shiver of cold.
Day 5, prover
1
Stiffness and
slight heaviness in occiput, slight pain on turning head to its extremes,
same both
sides. Heaviness forcing head downward.
Day 19,
prover 1
HEAD PAIN
Head ache,
mild, dull over both eyes and top of head.
Cross-section
from eyebrows up. Real dull nothing special about it. No specific
sensation
just dull. Whole top of head. Started one hour after second dose. It stayed
until I took
a shower. At 11 pm disappeared and went to sleep with no headache, but
woke up with
one. Hot steaming shower, it got nice and warm, but then got into cold
bed. Still
headache was gone.
Day 1, prover
6
Headache.
Above eyes and frontal sinuses. Slight burning/heat in the pain. Better cold
applications.
Worse movement, using eyes. Extends backwards. Slightly affects vision
and balance.
Sensation of not being quite there or in control of body. Liable to bump
into things,
poor coordination. Took aspirin. It went. The modalities of the headache
were unique
to the proving.
Day 21,
prover 1
A pressing
sensation in the head, especially on both temples. Severe pressure
pushing in
from both sides.
Day 18,
prover 4
Mild H/A, yet
energy pretty good all day.
Day 4, prover
5
No sunglasses
made ha go from 1-12/ bright sunlight agg ha. Stabbing moved left.
Sunlight made
it stab and move left.
Day 2, prover
6
Strongest
pain was headache after light.
Day 3, prover
6
Actually with
the nasal obstruction and pressing pain in the head, I thought I was going
to get bad
sinusitis (there is some URTI/LRTI) going around.
Day 19,
prover 4
It felt like
sinusitis or a cold coming up. Along with that I had a nasal obstruction, but
no coryza.
Just like having a cold. As if there was swelling inside the turbinates. I had
to breathe
through my mouth. This symptoms seemed worse at night after 9pm
Day 19,
prover 4
Woke with
heavy occipital headache. Slightly affecting focus and balance. Took aspirin
again.
Day 22,
prover 1
Woke with
quite a sore headache in vertex in sinuses. Disappeared as soon as I
became more
awake.
Day 22,
prover 1
Head feels
like mincemeat. Hard to think clearly.
Day 25,
prover 1
Then wake up
with headache and nausea. Expecting guests so finally get myself to go
hoover up and
immediately discover the vigorous exercise removes both the
headache and
the nausea.
Day 28-34,
prover 1
Headache
gone. Dull feeling root nose.
Day 2, prover
6
4.30 pm: Pain
right side of the head, just behind the ear. Slow, piercing pain that
lasted for
about 2 minutes. It moved upwards I think and disappeared.
Day 3, Prover
4
Still strange
not-there feeling in head, not right. Balance and vision slightly affected.
Still sinuses
are clear, no congestion, despite having to blow nose more.
Day 23,
prover 1
Head feels
like mincemeat. Hard to think clearly.
Day 25,
prover 1
MOUTH
Mouth felt
dry immediately. Acrid taste.
Day 1, prover
3
Dry mouth.
Day 2, prover
3
Still have
dry mouth.
Day 3, prover
3
Great thirst
is back, dry mouth and throat.
Day 8, prover
3
EYES
Very tired.
Eyes feel tired – slightly watery.
Day 3, prover
1
Itching
margins of eyes and nostrils again, especially while driving.
Day 14,
prover 1
Eyes felt
grainy/dry.
Day 1, prover
3
My eyes are
not tired as they usually are at this time after working the whole day for
most part on
the computer. (CURATIVE)
Day 4, Prover
4
Right eyelid,
upper, was swollen last summer, maybe from an insect. A tiny pearl
remains upper
eyelid. Like pepper seed size. Yesterday, it got raw, swollen, size of
coriander
seed. Big and red. Now it is the size of mustard seed. Not red. Not itchy.
Smaller than
before the proving. (CURATIVE)
Day 2, prover
3
Eyelid pearl
is smaller, still getting better.
Day 6, prover
3
Eyelid pearl
not vanished completely. First got bigger, now only slightly there.
Day 10,
prover 3
NOSE
Dry patch of
skin at bridge of nose. Flaky.
Day 26,
prover 1
It felt like
sinusitis or a cold coming up. Along with that I had a nasal obstruction, but
no coryza.
Just like having a cold. As if there was swelling inside the turbinates. I had
to breathe
through my mouth. This symptoms seemed worse at night after 9pm
Day 19,
prover 4
Actually with
the nasal obstruction and pressing pain in the head, I thought I was going
to get bad
sinusitis (there is some URTI/LRTI) going around.
Day 19,
prover 4
Sneezing
wears off by midday, and nasal discharge lessens.
Day 27,
prover 1
Intermittent
sneezing.
Day 2, prover
3
Some minor
sneezing and stuffiness of nose.
Day 3, prover
3
Still slight
sneezing, coughing, throat irritation.
Day 6, prover
3
Throat,
coughs have dissipated and are no longer present. Only a couple of sneezes.
Day 7, prover
3
A few
sneezes.
Day 8, prover
3
The weirdest
symptom through all of this is a very subtle sneezing throughout the
days…only
once or twice a day, but certainly not in my normal realm of experiences,
and it was
consistent throughout the first weeks of the proving. There was no
consistency
in modality (time, etc.).
Day 11,
prover 3
EAR
Right ear,
moment of achy pain.
Day 1, prover
3
Sensation of
earache. As if earache. For five seconds, brief.
Day 7, prover
6
Fleeting
sensation that there is going to be earache, knee ache, inner aspect left knee.
All on left
side and don't manifest.
Day 7, prover
6
THROAT
Throat more
dry than normal.
Day 1, prover
1
Throat a
little raw, like the beginning of a cold.
Day 1, prover
3
Some amount
of soreness in the throat. Not painful. Just a tickling. Someone noticed
that I was
coughing. But I never realized I was. Just short dry coughs due to a tickling
irritation in
my throat.
Day 19,
prover 4
COUGH
Slight
occasional cough that seems nervous in origin, yet DEEP.
Day 1, prover
1
Coughed a few
times on rising.
Day 5, prover
1
Coughing more
frequently though still without any sense of anything to cough up.
Day 17,
prover 1
Some amount
of soreness in the throat. Not painful. Just a tickling. Someone noticed
that I was
coughing. But I never realized I was. Just short dry coughs due to a tickling
irritation in
my throat.
Day 19,
prover 4
Cough
increasing in frequency. Some very slight sense of tightness in back of throat
and a
“thereness” at top of chest.
Day 18,
prover 1
Cough
hovering. Can feel a sensation of slight zingy tickly irritation in the mucous
membranes
lining the frontal sinuses and pharynx. Also briefly the brain meninges.
Not an
unpleasant sensation. A kind of voluptuous tickling?
Day 19,
prover 1
Cough is very
tight, confined to upper part of chest. Not particularly productive. Cough
is frequently
one single long emphysema-like expiration.
Day 21,
prover 1
Gave daughter
a dose of this remedy for her 3-month cough based on symptom
similarity.
Long duration (about 4 months). Seemingly nervous in origin. Little or no
expectoration.
<< first thing in the morning, last thing at night, cold air. Paroxysmal
with
tightness in bronchial passages. Abdominal muscles sore from coughing.
Day 21,
prover 1
Took a while
to get to sleep for coughing.
Day 23,
prover 1
Glass of wine
after evening meal gave palpitations. Quite strong, with a sense of
tightness
around the whole upper chest/heart region. Later had a glass of orange juice
and the same
thing happened. Coughing worse towards evening. Chest suddenly
tightens in
bronchial region, cough for a while (in same pattern as before) then it
loosens again
and I don’t cough for a while.
Day 23,
prover 1
Cough not too
bad. Exacerbated by cold air and smoky atmosphere. Also by hot air.
Day 24,
prover 1
Cough much
looser with slightly more expectoration, but still not a lot.
Day 25,
prover 1
Getting to
sleep difficult for coughing. Cough definitely worse night (not lying down).
Starts to
really tighten up about 1am. OK once I can get to sleep. Doesn’t wake me.
Day 25,
prover 1
Lot of
coughing on waking.
Day 26,
prover 1
Cough again
worse night, starting up in earnest around 1am again. Went to bed
slightly
earlier (2am) but took a while to get to sleep for coughing. It’s bronchial
spasms that
initiate it, rather than tickling anywhere.
Day 26,
prover 1
Coughing
again in earnest late evening <<1am. On trying to go to sleep tried to
consciously
relax tightness in bronchial region. Wasn’t happening. Then turned onto
left side and
immediately felt the left side of my chest ease and relax. For a minute or
two the left
side was soft and easy while the right remained tight, then the right relaxed
too and I
went straight to sleep.
Day 27,
prover 1
Cough starts
to wear off. Return to choir March 22, but find singing awkward because
of the amount
of mucus in bronchial region and throat. Seems to help to sing though –
feel clearer
afterwards.
Day 28-34,
prover 1
During this
period, cough gradually tailed off to the state it’s been during most of the
proving – the
odd occasional burst apropos of nothing in particular.
Day 36-51,
prover 1
Some months
later I gave it to a crow that had been visiting with his flock for over a
week and
coughing like that. He was coming right up to my window and sitting there
coughing. I
put the Rx out on the grass where the crow was eating the remains of
some guinea
pig food, figuring that crows being crows, he'd take it if he needed it. He
came back and
continued eating (I knew it was him because he was still coughing)
and when I
checked later the Rx was gone. He was back the next day but coughing
much less
frequently. (CURATIVE.)
Day XX,
prover 1
STOMACH
About 7.30
pm: a feeling of apprehension in the epigastrium region. As if expecting
some bad news
or results. Lasted for about an hour.
Day 3, Prover
4
Then wake up
with headache and nausea. Expecting guests so finally get myself to go
hoover up and
immediately discover the vigorous exercise removes both the
headache and
the nausea.
Day 28-34,
prover 1
CHEST
Glass of wine
after evening meal gave palpitations. Quite strong, with a sense of
tightness
around the whole upper chest/heart region. Later had a glass of orange juice
and the same
thing happened.
Day 23,
prover 1
Palpitations
with morning cup of coffee.
Day 24,
prover 1
Sense of
impending palpitations
Day 25,
prover 1
Pain on deep
inspiration: hips, chest, lower back.
Day 7, prover
6
8 pm pain
both sides of chest wall around level of breasts.
On
inspiration, pain sharp, 6 out of 10, then disappeared after a few deep
breaths.
Deep
inspiration caused sharp pain. Normal inspiration caused mild pain. Lasted a
few
minutes.
Day 7, prover
6
BACK
Aching pain.
Back and left side. Towards left shoulder blade edges and spine and
lower section
of trapezius. Lying on left side made it go away. Back no amel as much
by lying on
back.
Day 3, prover
6
Left side
achy. Moving around. Better with pressure.
Day 2, prover
6
Achy lower
back.
Day 2, prover
3
By 2 pm ache
shoulder blade edge went to spine and away, centered, lower trapezius,
and stayed,
moving didn't help. Left side pain stayed and went and returned.
Showering
helped, then in bed, uncomfortable.
Day 3, prover
6
Restless,
couldn’t lie on left because of pain. It would stop hurting
Left would
feel better when lying, but back discomfort because you couldn’t lie on both
at same time.
Day 3, prover
6
Pain on deep
inspiration: hips, chest, lower back.
Day 7, prover
6
Back sore
around base of scapulae and abdominal muscles, both from coughing.
Day 28-34,
prover 1
Back feels
weak. Feels like I’m slouching more than normal.
Day 28-34,
prover 1
I have a pain
in my upper back that usually signifies exhaustion for the day because
I've been
doing too much. Now, unless I'm conscious of it, it’s hardly noticeable.
Day 4, Prover
4
STOOL
I've not been
able to pass a stool today - maybe I wasn't paying attention at the right
time.
Day 4, Prover
4
Stool very
slowly. Seems sticky. Like a difficult birth. Wondering if it gets any worse
will
have to pull
it out. "From the bowels of the Earth" comes into my head. Large and
heavy, as it
has been of late.
Day 1, prover
1
Slightly
constipated towards end of day. Passing stool difficult. Abdomen feels slightly
bloated with
catching/dragging sensations. Not sure whether these are intestinal or
ovarian.
Day 12,
prover 1
Slight
feelings of constipation and dragging/catching sensations in abdomen still like
yesterday.
Decide it’s ovarian. Full moon, so will be ovulating. Slightly warmer and
sweatier with
it.
Day 13,
prover 1
Still
slightly constipated with difficulty passing stool.
Day 14,
prover 1
Stool back to
sticky and hard to pass.
Day 25,
prover 1
Defecation
easier and more frequent.
Day 18,
prover 1
Morning: I
had a strong urge and soft stool in pieces with a little burning.
Day 2, Prover
4
I just had
the dose (3rd) and felt and strong urge for stool in 15 minutes.
Day 4, Prover
4
Slight
diarrhoea. When writing “diarrhoea” initially, couldn’t for the life of me
remember
how to spell
it? Had to look it up.
Day 4, prover
1
Fluffy stool,
ochre, brownish yellow. For three days,
Getting
lighter and fluffier.
Day 6, prover
3
Fluffy stool.
Day 8, prover
3
Smelly gas,
like rotten eggs.
Day 1, prover
3
URINE
Drinking more
and urinating more. Little and often of both.
Day 17,
prover 1
Still
thirstier through the day and urinating more frequently.
Day 18,
prover 1
EXPECTORATION
Right nostril
still has catarrh.
Day 2, prover
1
More nasal
discharge on waking. Right nostril temporarily blocked on waking, clearing
on rising.
Blowing nose a lot more. Sneezing quite a bit. Powerful, whole-body
sneezes. More
discharge from right nostril than left.
Day 27,
prover 1
Sneezing
wears off by midday, and nasal discharge lessens.
Day 27,
prover 1
FEMALE
Breasts feel
larger and slightly tender. Likely premenstrual, but this is not a normal
symptom
though have experienced it with some previous provings.
Day 1, prover
1
Period
started. Brighter blood than usual. Slightly heavier than usual. Slightly
earlier
than usual.
Over the last 2 months it has been earlier than normal. Backtracking to get
synchronised
with new moon.
Day 5, prover
1
Menses begin.
26 day cycle as last month. By evening very profuse as last month.
Day 20,
prover 1
Main other
symptom is menstrual spotting-two weeks early. Turns out my period was
starting two
weeks before it was due. Also nipple (breast) tenderness.
Day 2, prover
5
Felt PMS-
mild headache, fatigue at 5:30 pm, crave chocolate. That night woke up at
2-2:30 am-hot
sweats (rare for me).
Day 3, prover
5
Initially
felt fine, then slowly PMS again.
Day 4, prover
5
Still felt
PMSy yet energy pretty good.
Day 4, prover
5
Feel extreme
nipple tenderness, very unusual then period started. Restless sleep the
entire time.
Energy decreased as menses began.
Day 10,
prover 5
Yellow
staining mucous discharge - not exactly leucorrhoea. Just a mucous discharge
that would
occur in a normal menstrual cycle. Also given my state of mind as well as
these symptom
(amenorrhea, yellow staining leucorrhea, acne.
Day XX,
Prover 4
After taking
the remedy, this is the 3rd month (Feb, March, April) that I've missed a
period.
Missing my periods for 2-3 consecutive months happened only a couple of
times during
my teens. Repeating Palladium has helped with other things/colds, etc.
But it has
not set my menstrual cycle right yet as it used to before.
Day XX,
Prover 4
EXTREMITIES-
UPPER
Biceps.
Heaviness running down my arm, feels slightly neurological. Better palm up.
Left arm.
Day 1, prover
1
Sleep that
night- left wrist pain-fairly intense-woke me up. Had some wrist pain
previously
from overuse but this was intensified.
Day 1, prover
5
Feels like my
arms are very heavy.
Day 1, prover
3
Tension in
shoulders, especially left scapula (old symptom). Sudden pain in left ear
that
dissipates very quickly. Feels like it’s connected to jaw tension.
Day 3, prover
3
Energy
improved overall, wrist feels better.
Day 2, prover
5
Left arm
still weak and muscles in shoulder sore, yet not as strong as this has been,
particularly
not as strong as it was the day before I took the remedy.
Day 2, prover
1
Left arm very
sore – deltoid and triceps predominantly, but radiating down to the hand
as before,
until fingers felt painful. Pain seemed muscular down to elbows and more
neurological
from elbows to fingers. Better for keeping it moving though working hard
with it
seemed to make it worse.
Day 3, prover
1
The feeling
in the arm, which feels as if the muscles are very contracted even though
they are soft
and relaxed. The arm feels worse when it’s still – the sensations of
contraction
are much stronger.
Day 3, prover
1
Actual loss
of strength in left arm noticeable toward evening. Arm was shaking when
lifting a
full 2-litre kettle of water.
Day 3, prover
1
Left arm very
sore with deltoid and triceps muscles feeling highly contracted (though
not
objectively so), worse for holding the arm in a position where those muscles
were
stretched
somewhat. Wondering if it was too sore to allow me to sleep. Couldn’t find a
comfortable
position where it felt relaxed. Then tried lying on it. Immediate and total
relief. Went
to sleep straight away.
Day 3, prover
1
Left arm much
better. Hardly any soreness at all, and what there is confined to deltoid
muscle. There
is a point at the insertion of the deltoid muscle that feels as if someone
is constantly
applying pressure to it with a fingertip.
Day 4, prover
1
On going to
bed immediately felt problems with left arm again. Couldn’t get it
comfortable.
Lay on left side again. It’s not the pressure that creates the amelioration,
but having
the arm straight so that no muscle groups are being stretched as it’s the
stretching of
the muscles that creates the sensation of contraction.
Day 4, prover
1
Left arms
still sore on waking.
Day 5, prover
1
Left arm
about two inches from the elbow and shoulder joints is where I’ve been
feeling the
sensation as of a finger pressing. Also right hip which was painful when
therapist
worked the leg, specifically in the tendons in the groin. Particularly enjoying
touch, and
realised this is the same with the cat. Felt cold afterwards though.
Day 5, prover
1
Left arm
still sore, though comes and goes without much rhyme or reason.
Day 6, prover
1
Sensations in
left arm and right hip coming and going, but never leaving completely.
Day 9, prover
1
Left arm
still stiff and lacking flexibility. Still feeling the energy blockage around
the
insertion of
the deltoid muscle like a finger is pressed there.
Day 12,
prover 1
Left arm
still stiff. Mentally relaxed and easy-going.
Day 13,
prover 1
Left arm very
sore. Radiating down to hand, to distal edge of little finger and to a
slightly
lesser extent to thumb. While resting arm on arm of chair, trembling/pulsating
sensation on
outer edge of elbow.
Day 22,
prover 1
Left arm
still troublesome. Soreness in deltoid muscle with sensation as if finger
pressed into
arm at the deltoid insertion.
Day 26,
prover 1
Sensation in
left deltoid passed away with some slight residual stiffness and lack of full
range of
movement. Ditto right hip joint.
Day 36-51,
prover 1
Ragnails on
left hand.
Day 6, prover
1
EXTREMITIES
LOWER
Also some
discomfort in both hip joints, worse right. Back also felt weak lifting things.
Yet, although
feeling weak was able to lift heavy things, so it was as if the sensation
was there
without the actuality – rather like the feeling in the arm, which feels as if
the
muscles are
very contracted even though they are soft and relaxed. The arm feels
worse when
it’s still – the sensations of contraction are much stronger.
Day 3, prover
1
Pain in both
hips, worse inspiration, better hot shower. Movement didn't effect it for
better or
worse.
Day 7, prover
6
Right hip is
often sore on the femoral head on waking from lying on it.
Day 6, prover
1
Pain on deep
inspiration: hips, chest, lower back.
Day 7, prover
6
Got up three
hours after waking, pain in both hips - aching but worse on inspiration in
hips.
Day 7, prover
6
Fleeing
sensation that there is going to be an earache, knee ache, inner aspect left
knee. All on
left side and don't manifest.
Day 7, prover
6
4 pm. Ache in
hip, left side again. Lasted one hour. Then disappeared. No radiation,
no movement.
No pain, just an ache.
Muscle, not
bone pain.
Day 6, prover
6
Pain in left
ankle that feels like a muscle sprain that quickly dissipates; comes on
quickly and
leaves quickly.
Day 3, prover
3
Pain in left
thigh, as if the pain, after leaving the ankle, has risen to the thigh, and
quickly
dissipates and doesn’t return or travel anywhere else.
Day 3, prover
3
Took the
children roller-blading. Skating round the rink experienced almost cramp-like
sensations in
legs. A sort of contractive burning sensation, though without a sensation
of spasm.
Worse in right leg, which is the one with the discomfort in the hip. Whole
body felt
lacking in flexibility.
Day 9, prover
1
The
sensations of this remedy are quite arthritic.
Day 9, prover
1
When climbing
ladder into bed, tried to evade cat catching my toes and missed footing
with left
foot. This meant I had to take my whole weight with the right leg, which was
bent at the
time. Searing pain in the tendons of the groin.
Day 13,
prover 1
On waking
felt horribly stiff and arthritic and knew this was a result of the bath last
night.
Day 14,
prover 1
SLEEP
Slept easily
and quickly, though wondering if the bed would take my weight.
Day 1, prover
1
No dreams.
Good sleep. Feel fit. Going to bed earlier, wake up earlier than usual.
Good mood on
waking.
Day 6, prover
3
Waking four
times and not go back to sleep after.
Day 2, prover
6
Sleep woke up
12:15 am had trouble falling back to sleep.
Day 6, prover
5
That night
woke up at 2:30 am and could not fall back asleep.
Day 2, prover
5
Sleep that
night, woke up 12:30 am and could not sleep till 2:30 am.
Day 4, prover
5
Woke several
times during the night again. Thirsty with very dry throat. Had to take a
drink.
Day 4, prover
1
Woke
frequently. Hot and sweaty and thirsty. Drank all my one pint of water by
morning. Not
a great sleep. Exactly 28 days since this happened before. Still tired with
sleepy
feeling in eyes, though not as intense as previous two days.
Day 19,
prover 1
Also for
about three weeks or so after took the remedy my sleep was fitful and
disrupted.
Would wake up 3 or 4 times during the night and could not fall back to
sleep.
Day XX,
prover 5
Hot and
sweaty during the night. Woke several times thinking it was morning and time
to get up but
it wasn’t.
Day 4, prover
1
Cat woke me
at 7:40, but went back to sleep. Sleeping and waking, sleeping and
waking until
1pm. Each time I woke thought I should get up but never made it out of
bed. Sense of
impending palpitations. Expected to feel refreshed after such a long
sleep but
very tired, eyes tired.
Day 25,
prover 1
Another hot
and sweaty night but not so thirsty.
Day 22,
prover 1
Sleep that
night- left wrist pain-fairly intense-woke me up. Had some wrist pain
previously
from overuse but this was intensified.
Day 1, prover
5
Burping on
going to sleep. After lying down.
Day 6, prover
6
Better
night’s sleep but still thirstier than normal.
Day 5, prover
1
Waking
difficult. Hibernation would be nice. Huge INERTIA to overcome to get up.
Day 1, prover
1
Again
reluctant to get up. Heaviness gone, but bed is so delicious don’t want to
leave
it.
Day 2, prover
1
Very hard to
overcome the inertia to get out of bed. Woke around 8am but didn’t get
up until
about 10.
Day 3, prover
Woke sneezing
three times.
Day 1, prover
6
SKIN
Red itching
spots all over the body. They look like fleabites. They itch for a while and I
have to
scratch which feels better. Or do I have fleas in my clothes??? I realized this
morning I had
about 20 spots all over the upper part of my body, arms, chest and
abdomen.
Day 20-22,
prover 4
I have been
developing acne on my face especially on my chin or on the right side.
Day 20-22,
prover 4
GENERALS
Sides
Left:
Earache, knee ache, falling sensation, scapula, thigh, wrist, back
Right: head,
hip
All symptom
have been left sided.
Day 6, prover
6
Ache
Left.
Fleeting sensation that there is going to be Earache, knee ache, inner aspect
left
knee. All on
left side and don't manifest.
Day 7, prover
6
Itch
Red itching
spots all over the body. They look like fleabites. They itch for a while and I
have to
scratch which feels better or do I have fleas in my clothes??? I realized this
morning I had
about 20 spots all over the upper part of my body, arms, chest and
abdomen.
Day 20-22,
prover 4
Misc
I think the
sphere of action of this remedy must be:
Head symptoms
- the headache symptoms I described
Skin Symptoms
- like fleabites in the upper part of the body
Explosive
Stool with slight burning in the rectum
General
weakness not better after eating
A high
Spiritual state of calmness and serenity alternating with a sense of emotional
fragility
Explosive
anger lasting 2 minutes
Day XX,
Prover 4
Weak
General
losing strength.
Day 1, prover
1
Thirsty
Thirstier.
Day 1, prover
1
Thirstier
throughout day, especially evening (8pm ish). Also cold.
Day 1, prover
1
Still
thirstier than normal, noticeable first thing in the morning and around 8pm at
night.
Day 9, prover
1
Drinking more
and urinating more. Little and often of both.
Day 17,
prover 1
Still
thirstier through the day and urinating more frequently.
Day 18,
prover 1
Great thirst
is back, dry mouth and throat.
Day 8, prover
3
Woke
frequently. Hot and sweaty and thirsty. Drank all my one pint of water by
morning. Not
a great sleep. Exactly 28 days since this happened before. Still tired with
sleepy
feeling in eyes, though not as intense as previous two days.
Day 19,
prover 1
Heavy
Heavy: Stool,
Mind, Arms
Still heavy.
Day 1, prover
1
Pressure amel
Pressure
better, really big.
Day 3, prover
6
Light agg
Strongest
pain was headache after light.
Day 3, prover
6
Energy
increased
Energy
improved overall, wrist feels better.
Day 2, prover
5
Freezing,
shivering. Goosebumps.
Day 1, prover
3
Wine
Glass of wine
after evening meal gave palpitations. Quite strong, with a sense of
tightness
around the whole upper chest/heart region. Later had a glass of orange juice
and the same
thing happened. Coughing worse towards evening. Chest suddenly
tightens in
bronchial region, cough for a while (in same pattern as before) then it
loosens again
and I don’t cough for a while.
Day 23,
prover 1
Stiff- water
agg
On waking
felt horribly stiff and arthritic and knew this was a result of the bath last
night.
Day 14,
prover 1
Stiffness
continues all day.
Day 14,
prover 1
Took the kids
swimming but for the first time didn’t go in with them. Didn’t feel like it
and particularly
didn’t want to end up even stiffer than I was after that bath.
Day 18,
prover 1
Decided on a
whim to take a bath, wondering how I’d react since haven’t tried this out
since the
last time when it provoked quite a noticeable aggravation. Bath itself was
enjoyable,
but on getting out felt so completely drained of energy nearly collapsed and
had to lie
down on the floor for a bit.
Day 52,
prover 1
Dry
Dry: eyes,
throat, nose, mouth, cough
Food
I did not
want to eat an egg, which I usually do because I felt it smelled a bit. I
preferred to
eat cheese and Chapatti (dry roasted pancake made from wheat flour)
with a cup of
tea.
Day 2, Prover
4
Cold
Felt cold
from the inside -body was cold (rare- I’m usually VERY warm).
Day 1, prover
3
Sensitive
Became extremely
psychically sensitive/aware and that remained all night.
Day 1, prover
3
Heat
Woke
frequently. Hot and sweaty and thirsty. Drank all my one pint of water by
morning. Not
a great sleep. Exactly 28 days since this happened before. Still tired with
sleepy
feeling in eyes, though not as intense as previous two days.
Day 19,
prover 1
Another hot
and sweaty night but not so thirsty.
Day 22,
prover 1
Coordination
lacking
Felt much
better, not so uncoordinated and not-there.
Day 24,
prover 1
Appetite diminished
Being
immersed back in the energy again noticed I had virtually nothing to eat all
day
and stayed up
until 2.00am working on the web page!
Day 52,
prover 1
I've not been
able to tolerate the fasting /hunger. I feel very weak and some sort of
body pain
peripherally. I feel like I’m drained of energy.
Day 9-11,
Prover 4
I don't have
a craving for food as such, but to take something to strengthen my energy
that has
drained out. So after the 8 hours, I eat a large amount. Even after eating
this,
I do not feel
like I am strengthened. There is a residual weakness.
Day 9-11,
Prover 4
Night agg
It felt like
sinusitis or a cold coming up. Along with that I had a nasal obstruction, but
no coryza.
Just like having a cold. As if there was swelling inside the turbinates. I had
to breathe
through my mouth. This symptoms seemed worse at night after 9 pm
Day 19,
prover 4
Movement
amel, vigorous
Then wake up
with headache and nausea. Expecting guests so finally get myself to go
hoover up and
immediately discover the vigorous exercise removes both the
headache and
the nausea.
Day 28-34,
prover 1
Pain piercing
There seem to
be more symptoms in the evening. 4.30 pm: Pain right side of the head,
just behind
the ear. Slow, piercing pain that lasted for about 2 minutes. It moved
upwards I
think and disappeared.
Day 3, Prover
4
Apprehension
in stomach
About 7.30
pm: a feeling of apprehension in the epigastrium region. As if expecting
some bad news
or results. Lasted for about an hour.
Day 3, Prover
4
Flu-like
Actually with
the nasal obstruction and pressing pain in the head, I thought I was going
to get bad
sinusitis (there is some URTI/LRTI) going around.
Day 19,
prover 4
It felt like
sinusitis or a cold coming up. Along with that I had a nasal obstruction, but
no coryza.
Just like having a cold. As if there was swelling inside the turbinates. I had
to breathe
through my mouth. This symptoms seemed worse at night after 9pm
Day 19,
prover 4
I have a feeling
like before a flu. Head ache sore throat, pain in neck. Shoulders ache.
Day 10,
prover 3
Monday, went
to school to work, blowing nose all the time. Nose running dripping. Mon
night, no
work. Hopeful feeling stopped when flu came on.
Day 10,
prover 3
I feel quite
alright when I have the flu. I enjoy having the flu.
Day 10,
prover 3
Tired
Tired by
11pm. Want to go to bed.
Day 1, prover
1
Again
reluctant to get up. Heaviness gone, but bed is so delicious don’t want to
leave
it.
Day 2, prover
1
Still tired
in evening. Went to bed very early – around 10.30 pm. Realised this
tiredness
occurred a month ago. “Turning and turning in the widening gyre …” There is
a very strong
cyclical element here.
Day 17,
prover 1
Still very
tired. Would like to sleep.
Day 18,
prover 1
Energy still
low. Coordination still slightly off. Balance affected. More energy from
going out and
doing something.
Day 26,
prover
Very little
energy. Tired but still unable to go to bed at a reasonable time.
Day 28-34,
prover 1
CURATIVE
SYMPTOMS
My eyes are
not tired as they usually are at this time after working the whole day for
most part on
the computer. (CURATIVE)
Day 4, Prover
4
Right eyelid,
upper, was swollen last summer, maybe from an insect. A tiny pearl
remains upper
eyelid. Like pepper seed size. Yesterday, it got raw, swollen, size of
coriander
seed. Big and red. Now it is the size of mustard seed. Not red. Not itchy.
Smaller than
before the proving.
Day 2, prover
3
Gave daughter
a dose of this remedy for her 3-month cough based on symptom
similarity.
Long duration (about 4 months). Seemingly nervous in origin. Little or no
expectoration.
<< first thing in the morning, last thing at night, cold air. Paroxysmal
with
tightness in bronchial passages. Abdominal muscles sore from coughing.
(CURATIVE.)
Day 21,
prover 1
Some months
later I gave it to a crow that had been visiting with his flock for over a
week and
coughing like that. He was coming right up to my window and sitting there
coughing. I
put the Rx out on the grass where the crow was eating the remains of
some guinea
pig food, figuring that crows being crows, he'd take it if he needed it. He
came back and
continued eating (I knew it was him because he was still coughing)
and when I
checked later the Rx was gone. He was back the next day but coughing
much less
frequently. (CURATIVE.)
Day XX,
prover 1
I am in the
middle of a Spiritual transformation of sorts and have decided to do a meal
fasting for
this. AFTER TAKING THE DOSE: I was able to tolerate the fasting quite
well. No
problem with it. The spiritual response/change has been very positive. I don't
feel
indifferent any more, but more like detached.
Prover 4, day
1
Have lots of
energy and clear focus. Strong determination in place “I can do it!”
(CURATIVE.)
Day 5, prover
3
I think the
remedy must be giving me some ability to handle more than I usually can.
(CURATIVE.)
Day 4, Prover
4
THE NUMBER
TWO
Explosive
anger lasting two minutes.
Day XX,
prover 4
The feeling
of mental frailty and limits was quite a clear demarcation the last two days.
Day 4, prover
4
I had the car
scratched because I did not see someone on a two-wheeler very close to
the car on
the left side, while I was concentrating on taking a right turn.
Day 5, Prover
4
At night I
was concerned about two issues. In both the issues it had to do with
"truth".
Day 1, prover
4
I had one or
two episodes of losing my shirt in the evening - for exactly two minutes
each time.
Day 4, Prover
4
Tried to
explain something of the non-dual perspective afforded by this energy and
realised that
they simply could not see it – couldn’t step outside of duality to see what
I was getting
at. Like the cartoon of the two fishes with one saying to the other “so
what’s this
‘ocean’ you keep talking about then?”
Day 14,
prover 1
Following day
notice strong perfume of roses to my left while sitting at my desk. See if
this tracks
back to a rose candle I have in the room, but it disappears about two feet
behind my chair.
Day 6, prover
1
Left arm
about two inches from the elbow and shoulder joints is where I’ve been
feeling the
sensation as of a finger pressing.
Day 5, prover
1
Still tired
with sleepy feeling in eyes, though not as intense as previous two days.
Day 19,
prover 1
Sang out loud
and proud and enjoyed it immensely, particularly singing with the two
others in my
row. We worked really well together – just like this morning’s lesson and
singing the
duet with my teacher.
Day 11,
prover 1
Dream: Two
colleagues and previous tutors look at my case notes and say that they
think the
baby should have Saccharum officinale instead – sugar.
Day 2, prover
1
Dream: I am
sleeping and two birds come to land on the bed
Day 3, prover
3
Main other
symptom is menstrual spotting-two weeks early. Turns out my period was
starting two
weeks before it was due.
Day 2, prover
5
Repertory
Stangeria eriopus by Melanie Grimes
Mind
Lost, forlorn
Cheerful
Mind strength
and clarity
Loquacious
saying things I would have held back on
Barriers of
‘my’ sense of propriety lifted (inappropriate)
Anger feeling
intentions not understood
Sense of
efficiency
Frailty, more
vulnerable
Mind clarity
-I can see truth clearly 2
Truth 3
Safe feeling
Driving, lack
of accurate judgment, causing car to hit an object 2
Strong
determination
I know I
can't be hurt because I am on the right side
Protected,
cannot be harmed
Confident
that truth will come out
Falling,
sensation of, towards the left when waking
Calm,
detached about relationships 2
Jinxed
Sinking
sensation
Heavy,
sensation of
Driving, car
accidents
Anxiety,
about future
Explosive
anger
Angry,
trivial things, evening
Duality,
sense of
Delusion,
someone shining a flashlight into my eyes
Darkness,
desire for
Giddy on
waking
People not
seeing me as I’m overtaking them because I’ve snuck up
behind them
and am sitting in their blind spot
Hallucinations
While
driving, I saw a man, black trousers, tan colored jacket, running
onto street.
Braked, and man was gone. Ameliorated by smoking tobacco
Seeing things
that don't exist
Hallucinations
while driving
Motorbike
cast a violet shadow. Motorbike was real, light from the shadow
appeared as
blue/purple light
Roses, scent
of
Dreams
Black salt
Salt, water
soaking feet in tub of
Birds, land
on bed
Plane travel
2
Church
Pregnant
Plane crash
Fearful
Grief for
dead father
Driving car 2
Flood
Recursion
Geometry
Html/computer
programming
Travel 4
Vertigo
Dizziness,
when standing, amel not moving
Head Pain
Headache 4
Head ache,
mild, dull over eyes and top of head
Head pain
amel hot water shower
Headache, Agg
sunlight.
Stabbing pain
from sunlight, moving left
Pain behind
ear, piercing. moved upwards
pressing
sensation temples
Pressing pain
Itchy scalp
Headache from
light
Headache
vertex, sinuses, waking with
Dull pain
root of nose
Headache,
waking, with nausea
Mouth
Dry
Acrid taste
Bottom lip
heavy.
Crack on
right hand side, inside
Lips dry
Face
Itchy
Eruption,
under right nostril
Itching,
margins of eyes and nostrils
Eruptions
behind left ear
Eyes
Grainy
Dry 2
Swelling on
upper eyelid
An old, pearl
like growth on upper eyelid reduced in size
Tired 2
Tired and
watery
Itch inside
margin, esp while driving
Eyes not
fatigued by computer work (CURATIVE)
Vision
Delusion: All
traffic lights appear strange, lights very red
Ear
Right ear,
moment of achy pain
Ear left ear
pain, momentarily
Mind
psychically sensitive/aware all night
Pain, ache 2
Eruption,
behind left ear
Nose
Sneezing 3
Nose stuffy
Nose runny
Dull pain
root of nose
Nasal
obstruction
Itch, under
right nostil, like itch before eruption of a cold sore
Catarrh,
right nostril
Discharge on
waking
Nasal
obstruction, Worse night, 9 pm (sinusitis)
Ear
Pain, sudden,
left ear with jaw tension
Pain ache. 2
Pain ache
left
Pain, ache
right
Pain, ache
fleeting 2
Throat
Soreness
tickling 2
Short dry
coughs due to a tickling 2
Dry
Raw
Tightness
Cough, tight,
upper chest
Cough
Nervous cough
Cough on
rising
Tickling, dry
Tickling,
frontal sinus and pharynx
Cough tight
Paroxysmal,
with tight bronchial passages
Cough worse
evening
Cough agg
cold air, smoke
Cough agg hot
air
Cough worse
evening
Cough worse
night 1 am
Cough, on
waking
Cough,
spasms, bronchial
Abdomen
Flatulence,
smell like rotten eggs
Left side
ache better pressure
Left side
ache better shower
Ache better
pressure
Feeling of
apprehension in the epigastrium region. As if expecting some
bad news or
results
Chest
Palpitations
after wine in evening. Tighness upper chest
Palpitations
after orange juice
Chect
tightens, bronchial region
Palpitatins
with coffee, morning
Pain,
inspiration, deep
Sharp, Pain,
chest wall, around breasts on inspiration
Sharp pain on
deep inspiration
Back
Ache better
lying, better pressure
Ache left,
shoulder blade, and lower trapezius better lying left
Ache, left
better moving
Ache, lower
back 4
Ache shoulder
blade to spine, amel showering
Restless from
pain
Pain
inspiration, lower back
Sore, base
scapula from coughing
Weakness
Extremities
Pain left
ankle ike muscle sprain, quickly dissipates
Pain left
thigh, leaving the ankle, has risen to the thigh
Hip ache left
Pain, hip
joints, worse right
Pain, hips,
worse inspiration, better shower hot
Sore, hip,
femoral head, on waking from lying
Ache Knee
ache, inner aspect left fleeting
Pain
inspiration, hips
Aching pain,
hips, worse inspiration
Sensation of
ache, left
Pain, ankle,
left, like muscle sprain
Cramp, leg,
contractive burning without spasm, worse right
Arthritic
Pain worse
right
Pain hip
worse right
Pain,
searing, groin tendons, right leg when bent and bearing weight
Stiff on
waking, from bathing
Pain hip 3
Upper
extremities
Heavy, arms,
sensation of
Heaviness
running down left arm, better palm up
Pain, left
wrist
Heavy, arms
Tension,
shoulders scapula
Shoulders,
pain sudden
Weakness,
left arm
Shoulder sore
left, weak
Sore, left
deltoid, triceps, radiating to hand, fingers
Neurological
pain elbows to fingers, better moving
Pain, arm
contraction, worse when still
Sore, left,
worse stretching, better lying
Sore,left,
deltoid insertion
Pressure,
left deltiod insertion as if from a fingertip
Pain, left
amel straighening, not stretching any muscles groups
Pain,
streching causes sensation of contraction
Sore, left,
waking
Stiff, left
Sore,
radiaing to distal edge finger, and thumb
Trembling
pulsating on out edge elbow while resting on arm chair
Ragnails
Arm worse
still
Arm,
contraction sensation of
Ache, biceps,
left
Stool
Fluffy stool,
ochre, brownish yellow
Stool fluffy,
like cake
Stool soft 2
Stool sticky
Constipation
2
Stool,
frequent
Urging,
morning, burning
Urging
Diarrhea 2
Gas, smell of
rotten eggs
Explosive,
with burning
Urine
Frequent
Expectoration
Right nostril
Sneezing
Female
Breast tender
Blood bright
Blood heavier
Spotting
Tenderness,
nipple 2
Hot sweats
Discharge,
yellow, staining mucous
Amenorrhea
Missing
periods
Menses, early
2
Menses, heavy
Sleep
Sleep more
than usual
Going to bed
earlier, wake up earlier
Frequent
waking 4
Burping on
lying down to sleep
Heat while
sleeping
Waking
difficult
Heaviness,
sensation of
Sneezing on
waking
Skin
Red itching
spots upper part of my body, arms, chest and abdomen
Acne face,
chin right
Generals
Left:
Earache, knee ache, falling sensation, scapula, thigh, wrist, back,
side,
shoulder, head
Right: head,
hip
Dry: eyes,
throat, nose, mouth, cough
Heaviness:
head, chest, arms, menses
Weight, sense
of, crushing
Thirsty 2
Cold
internal. 2
Freeezing,
shivering. Goosebumps
Burping
Sneezing 2
Amel by
smoking tobacco
Showering in
hot water amel
Pain fleeting
2
Left- ear,
knee, pain.
Food egg
aversion. Because of smell
Aching pain.
3
Fleeting pain
2
Sensation a cold is
coming on 3
Heaviness, sensation of
3
Bathing agg
Weakness, not amel
eating
Pressure amel
Light agg
Cold, shivering
Cold sensation,
internal
Bathing agg
Uncoordinated
Movement amel
Apprehension felt in
stomach
Sensation that a flu
was coming on 3
Tired
Inertia
dd
nat mur- grief
lycopodium
silica
arnica
Vergleich: Siehe: Thereobintha
Wirkung:
Phytologie: Zulu's: protection against
lightning/ward off evil
spirits.
Vomiting
poisoning, congestion, high blood pressure, headaches, flatulence, arthritis.
It was part of the diet of the Maiasaura dinosaur.
Only other cycad in materia medica is Macrozamia spiralis.?
Scholten:
Ohne Streit Macht/erfolgreiche Position erhalten; das was er erreicht o.
übergeben bekommen hat in Stand halten/bewahren; im gesunden Zustand gelassenes
Leben in gutem Wohlstand, mit Wunsch zu vergrößern + zu verteilen (andere mit
einbeziehen); bei Problemen Anstrengung des Erhaltes.
Starkes
belastendes Verantwortungsgefühl (Beschützer/Schirmherr); konservativ bis
steif, hält sich an die Regeln, toleriert keine Diskussion;
Kontrolle/in
Stand halten/durchhalten/weitermachen/erweitern/beschützen von
Privilegien/Vermögen/Einfluss.
Sankaran:
Struktur perfekt, muss aber erhalten werden und gegen widrige Umstände noch
gefestigt o. verteidigt werden; dies erfordert dauernde Anstrengung
N + P lineare Entwicklung;
Cu Sicherheit + Erfolg sind erreicht, müssen aber
zeitweise gegen Probleme verteidigt werden (immer vorbereitet sich zu
verteidigen).
Ag am Erhalt der Wertschätzung der eigenen
Darbietung muß dauernd gearbeitet werden.
Au nehmen mehr Verantwortung als nötig, um die
Führungs-Position nicht zu gefährden
Vorwort/Suchen Zeichen/Abkürzungen Impressum