Exkarnieren Anhang 8
Vergleich: Siehe: Anhang + Anhang 2 (Interview mit Gian Domenico Borasio/Johannes W.
Schneider) + Anhang 3 (Interview mit Rosina Sonnenschmidt) + Anhang
4 (Paolo Bavastro/Aktive
Sterbehilfe) + Tod Repertorium: (Mirilli) + Anhang 5 (Birgitt Bahlmann/) + Anhang 6 (‡ Floris Reitsma ‡/Boudewijn/Chabo) + Anhang 7 (Christian Schüle - aus
"Christ & Welt") + Anhang 9 Sterbebegleitung (Jakob Simmank) + Organspende (Rosina Sonnenschmidt/‡ Hinrich Baumgart ‡)
+ Psychopomp/https://hpathy.com/homeopathy-papers/death-final-frontier/
[Elisabeth Kübler-Ross]
‡ Folgendes hat anthroposofische Einschlüße ‡
Frei nach: Johannes W. Schneider, M.D.
Thanatology = study of the dying process. This
concerns not the moment of death but a process that often takes a long time.
Previously, death was only seen in negative terms, as the extinction of life.
Now people are asking if there are characteristic stages which form a
distinct entity and which have to be understood not only in the light of preceding
life but also of impending death.
Phases in the process
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's book On Death and
Dying was pioneering in this direction. She divided the dying process to be in
5 typical stages.
1. Begins when the sick
individual is, for the first time, seriously considering that death may be the
outcome of his illness. The idea may still be suppressed, but deep down the
individual knows
what is coming.
2. Knowledge of
approaching death can no longer be suppressed but keeps coming to conscious
awareness. The dying person then wants to prove to himself and others that he
still exists.
He tyrannizes family and nursing
staff and refuses to see visitors
3. The individual
realizes that he must die - but not yet. He begins to negotiate with his
physician/with God. Has not lived a good life until now, but if could only be
given a few more months
better use would be made of them.
4. It becomes clear that
death is approaching not just in general terms, but now. Causes depression, and
self-reproach.
5. Accepting death. He
grows peaceful and may even be able to comfort those remaining behind.
Evidently the five stages will not be equally well developed in every
case, and patients may even go back to an earlier stage if their condition improves.
The above progression is, however, typical, and experience shows many
variations.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross made careful
observations not only of the symptoms of dying and the dying individual. It is
most fortunate that the beginning of modern research into dying was marked not by
cool, objective interest in the subject but a caring attitude toward the human
being. Concepts developed in the human sciences are only in accord with reality
if they come from such a caring attitude.
Modern research into dying has another important precondition. To
understand dying, we must think in terms of processes. It is not enough to
describe facts, but we must
see them as steps along a road. The scientist must follow the road taken
by the dying individual with understanding. It is a great help to the dying
individual if a caregiver understands the dying process. Then he does not feel
left on his own. The dying individual is not the object of pity but is
accompanied with insight and understanding.
A third precondition for the study of the dying process. It is that the
evolution has to be considered in light of its ultimate goal: death. Death
influences and shapes the final part of life. Depression seen in the 4th stage
of dying can thus be seen as a preparation for the approaching separation.
Coming closer to the threshold of death the sick individual abandons his
egotistical attitude and gradually develops a new, sovereign view of the value
of life. It is part of the characteristic nature of human development that new
capabilities often appear first as their negative counter image. Values that
have applied until now are destroyed, making room for a new stage in individual
development. Just as the independent thinking and insight which develops in our
young years tends to present first as the negative counter image of a critical
attitude to society, so the peace of dying first shows itself as depressed
feelings about the life lived so far. This depression can only be understood if
we know it will be followed by the stage when life coming to its close is
contemplated in peace.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross distinguishes five
stages in the dying process, noting above all the changes in the dying
individual's relation to the world around him.
If we consider the changes in conscious awareness, four stages may be
discerned in the process.
I. Characteristic dreams as the individual approaches the threshold of
death. The dream images will rarely show openly
What they imply: a funeral/coffin/grave (stone)/seeing one's own dead
body. (It may be noted in passing that images of death in dreams do not usually
refer to actual death but more often to the dreamer's state of exhaustion or
separation from someone near and dear). A student dreams he is walking through
the local cemetery and looking at the beautiful grave stones. He is about to
turn and leave when his eye catches a stone with his own name; the date of
birth is correctly stated, the date of death partly obscured by some moss
covering the last digit for the year. Wanting to scrape off the moss, the
dreamer wakes up in a state of agitation but, in the process of waking up, has
the feeling that it is the current year. These are two of the themes that come
in genuine death dreams. The dreamer wants to escape before the essential theme
of the dream, his own grave stone, appears and yet feels drawn to this dream
content. He also wants to know the year of his death, but the dream stops, and
on waking up the student merely has a feeling that it is the current year. The
other typical feature of a genuine death dream is that it casts a veil over an
essential element which the dreamer would really like to know once he has
awakened. It would be tremendously important to him to know the year and day of
his death. A third typical theme did not appear in this dream: knowledge of
one's own death brings peace and even happiness.
Generally speaking, however, the theme of death is hidden, presenting in
symbolic form. The 19th Century German dramatist, Friedrich Hebbel, described
such a dream dreamt of a friend. He was walking through a landscape he had
never seen before, finally coming to a large river, the opposite bank of which
was shrouded in mist. He offered money to a ferryman to take him across but was
refused. The dream returned for eight more nights. The ninth night, however,
the dreamer was allowed to enter the boat and was taken across the river
"swiftly as an arrow". There he saw a palace, and his father (who had
died earlier) standing in front of it to welcome him. The dreamer knew his dream
to have been a true one when he awoke but interpreted it as predicting a
diplomatic mission to be undertaken that might earn him an decoration or
promotion. We note that wishful thinking came in, drowning out the subtle
language of the dream. The river is the image of the border between the realm
of the living and the dead not only in dreams but also in mythology. The dead
father represented the world beyond the threshold of death which awaited the
dreamer. Symbolic dreams of death almost always leave the individual free to
interpret them in another way and so may easily be misinterpreted.
When we are close to death, symbolic images appear not only in our
dreams but also in waking consciousness, interspersed with the images we gain
from sensory perception. The inner image will often fill the center of our field of perception, with optical perceptions
remaining in the margins. The dying individual sees himself in a dark, damp
cave. A crevice appears in the rock, opening out onto a magnificent wide
landscape in bright sunlight. The eye is drawn to the rich green of the
meadows. The dark cave is clearly one's own sick body; the landscape outside is
the world after death which seeks to draw the dying individual to it. The fact
that the eye is drawn to the landscape indicates that an activity is already
coming in from outside.
The same theme: The dying individual may feel himself to be sitting in a
train that is rushing faster and faster through a tunnel. The light illumining
the landscape outside is already visible on the tunnel walls. The tunnel
corresponds to the cave in the other dream, the light to the green landscape,
and the accelerating speed of the train to the eye being drawn from outside.
For the dying individual, the inner image often has the same inner
reality as the optical perception. Together they are the reality in which he
lives. Thus a dying man might ask the niece sitting at his bedside: "Where
did you get on, and where are you going?" The niece, having no idea of
train or tunnel, sees this as the beginning of the mental confusion that is
often said to precede death. But the dying individual knows very well that his
niece arrived yesterday to nurse him and has asked neighbors
to look after her two children. He merely does not realize that the tunnel and
the train are inner images that others do not share. Thinking based on memory
is quite intact but grows uncertain when it comes to observation of natural
laws. The person fails to realize that a rock will not open up to reveal a
landscape.
During this first stage of changing consciousness, thinking begins to
let go of its bonds with the physical world (which also happens in the
transition to dreaming) but does not abandon the logical sequence of life's
memories, whereas dreams may link different remembered elements in a quite
arbitrary way. The individual continues to identify with his physical body,
remaining in the cave, but a view opens up on existence outside the physical
body. The inner image is already more powerful than the optical image, pushing
it aside and taking up the center itself.
The individual is beginning to let go of the body; the endeavor to do so is apparent in the behavior
of a dying person. He'll kick the bedclothes aside or want to leave the room,
perhaps even by the window. Yet it is not really the room he wants to leave but
his body. He still experiences himself in his body but this has become a
burden. If the patient still has sufficient physical energy, he has to be
watched at this stage, for he distinguishes as little between the soul leaving
the body behind and getting out of bed as he does between inner and outer
image.
II. Change of consciousness begins when the dying individual no longer
identifies with his body but sees it from outside.
In a car crash, the passenger is thrown out into the road where he lies
motionless and seemingly unconscious. He is looking at his own body from a
point about two meters above his neck. He knows himself to be severely injured
but not dead. He sees other cars stopping, people standing around him, and
hears one of them say: "He's dead“. The "unconscious" person is
afraid that people will not consider his injuries but treat the body as a
corpse. Incidents such as this show how much unconscious or dying people take
in of what happens around them. I know a physician who always tells an
unconscious patient what he is doing: "I am giving you an injection. I am
taking your temperature. .“. This shows great wisdom in caring. Maybe those
words do not reach the unconscious mind, but they may equally well help the
patient not to become estranged from his body as he lies unconscious. In any
case, the physician is taking him seriously as a human being, and this in
itself is sufficient justification.
In the accident case just mentioned, the injured individual experiences
himself at a particular point in space that remains the same, close to his
body. The conscious mind has separated from the body, but the familiar, point-centered concentration of the conscious mind continues.
Separation progresses when the feeling of being close to the body ceases and
the dying individual feels himself to be sitting in a plane, for instance,
looking down at his home town. Now the point in space is in motion, and
attention is no longer focused only on the body but on the whole life sphere.
It is still focused on a particular point on earth, however. This final
limitation of the conscious mind disappears when the dying individual feels
himself to be floating freely in cosmic space, now fully free of the burden of
body and earth. Now, the content of consciousness is no longer determined by
the physical body but by the buoyancy of the excarnating
human being.
Growing beyond the confines of the body may also be experienced in
another form that is less buoyant. It is the experience of getting bigger. Even
an overtired person may feel the head growing larger than the skull. The
familiar experience of one's physical form is overlaid with perception of the
life organism, with the physical body no longer able to keep it within its
boundaries. Close to death the experience may grow stronger and extend to the
whole body.
There is another way of experiencing the body from outside that belongs
to the same stage. The dying person thinks he hears a cracking, crashing or
groaning sound, either from unknown far away places or, if it is localized,
usually from below. He will say the people in the flat below are hammering or
that a bed spring must have creaked. These sound images reflect him bumping
into his own body, touching it from outside. Optically, this may take the form
of a dark shadow suddenly cast on a beautiful landscape prospect. This image
also occurs in dreams, shortly before waking up.
In the two above stages, the dying person's conscious mind is still
directed to the world he is about to leave.
III The earthly world has vanished, and he meets figures from another
world. The simplest way in which this may happen is that the individual feels
called by name. It may be the voice of his mother or some other familiar
person, but it may also be a chorus of voices. Nor does it have to be his name;
it may be something like "Come and join us". The experience may
condense into the vision of a loved person who has died; the eyes of that
person make the strongest impression with a seeking, asking look that draws the
other to it.
A young child comes to be at home on earth on eye contact with its
mother. In the same way the dying individual finds his new home as he feels
someone is looking at him. This theme also comes in dreams when someone is
close to death. The individual is walking through a beautiful meadow where the
plants have eyes instead of flowers, big eyes that look at him unblinkingly,
hundreds of eyes. Or the individual is in a domed hall, the vault above him a
blue mosaic. The keystone is a huge eye looking down on him. Or he is walking
in a misty park and sees a rock in the distance; as he comes closer this
assumes the form of someone dear to him who has died and now gives him a
penetrating look.
Close to the threshold of death the perception of being looked at also
occurs in waking consciousness. The 19th Century Swiss poet and novelist,
Gottfried Keller, said the night before his death that he saw two knights in
golden armor next to a cupboard in his room who
looked at him unwaveringly for a long time. The eyes do not merely rest on the
dying individual but enter deeply into him. They do not look but see through
the person and judge him. Not the way one person might look at another and form
a judgment, but in such a way that the look already is the judgment. There is
nothing alien about this judgment, however, and the dying individual feels: if
I were completely honest with myself, I would have to feel the way those eyes
do.
The strangest experience of this kind is the appearance of the
"Mongolian" who comes to the dying individual as a totally alien
figure, his features immobile, giving no indication of a particular age. This
unapproachable expression is in striking contrast to the look in the eyes which
is like the dying individual meeting himself, reflecting his own judgment on
himself. Keller's two golden knights showed, in an almost mythical way, that
they did not belong to the earth world (we don't wear armor
any more/only heavenly beings wear garments of gold) but with the
"Mongolian" the supernatural character is almost hidden. The
strangeness and unapproachability show that on and
beyond the threshold the human being no longer sees himself the way he does in
life. We are often quite surprised to find out what others think of us. This
might, of course, be because they do not judge us rightly. We can evade this.
But the experience on the threshold of death is inexorable, with all
self-justification dying on our lips. The human being comes to see: This is I.
People who are dead may also appear, and the dying person may have a
conversation with them; or figures of pure light appear, their glory drawing
the dying individual to them. Dying people often give a name to those figures
of light, calling them Christ or angels. Caution is indicated here, for they
often merely indicate that the dying person always imagined Christ or an angel
to look like the figure he now meets. The one thing that is certain is that
this is not one of the dead but a more-than-human spirit. This will usually be
all one is able to find out. If the dying individual returns once more to a
quiet reflective mood, he may get a feeling for whether this figure of light
came to meet him as a very personal gesture related to his own inherent nature,
perhaps protectively enveloping him in light, which would suggest an angelic
encounter; or, if the gesture is more than personal, addressing his human
nature and he was simply being received as a human being in the throes of
death, which suggests one of the less frequent Christ encounters. We should not
always think immediately of the most sublime that may happen to man.
These encounters show characteristic differences in dying children
compared to older people. Even when long illness or advanced age has made the
individual's thoughts turn to death for some time, perception of the figure of
light comes as a surprise. The contrast to life on earth is clearly felt, and
yet this new experience is usually taken as a matter of fact, confirming
something the individual has always known deep down, even if it went against
accepted opinion. When an older person who is dying is finding his way into
this world of light, the eyes often show a delicate luster
which is perceived by those around him. The other world does not come as a
surprise to dying children. For them, it is like returning to a familiar home
from a journey. Knowledge of the spiritual reality does not come from the
depths but is like something not far away that is remembered and will provide
immediate orientation.
IV Individual already feels at home in the new world. Not only does he
grow calm but he is able to radiate peace and calm, and to comfort or bless
those around him. It used to be very important to people to reach a deathbed in
time to receive the dying person's blessing. Why is it that the power of this
is so rarely experienced today? Is this only due to the dying person or perhaps
also those who have to stay behind and do not dare face the reality of death?
The individual gesture of dying
The four stages of changing consciousness were described as part of a
typical dying process, as were Elisabeth Kubler
Ross's stages. Typical does not mean that every individual has all the
experiences. Some stages may be particularly marked, others only hinted at or
not even percephble. The time sequence of the steps
is typical.
Every human life shows the typical stages of development and also a
highly individual form of biography. This also holds true for dying. There is
an ancient saying that we really only know someone if we know how he died. This
individual note cannot be described as a process, a sequence in time; it is a
gesture revealing the person's individual nature.
The gesture of dying may be wholly in accord with the gesture of the
biography or it may give new emphasis to something. Social individuals may die
in isolation. Recluses may gather their friends around their deathbed, perhaps
even reconciling them. Some depart suddenly in the midst of an active life;
others gradually prepare themselves and their families for the parting. A man
in his late eighties, fit and always active, is working in his beloved garden
when he suddenly feels weak and sits down for a moment, never to get up again.
Death coming swiftly is not bringing a new note to the biography in this case
but is letting the person die the way he lived, performing the work he has been
given.
Another, also in his late eighties, has never been seriously ill, except
for being wounded in the war. Having to depend on others was not a feature in
his biography. He suffers a myocardial infarction and is taken to an intensive
care unit, where death is imminent a few days later. The machines have been
turned off, a "Do not disturb" sign hangs on the door, and the family
is quietly waiting for what has to come. Suddenly, the patient feels better,
wants to eat something, and has two more weeks during which he experiences the
dying of his body very consciously; previously irritated at any medical
intervention, he now shows great patience as he allows himself to be nursed and
treated. Something has been added to a life that had run its full course,
something he can take with him. Not a ripe fruit, but a seed for future
development.
Another aspect of the individual gesture of dying is the ordering of one's
affairs. Before a sudden and unexpected death, one makes arrangements to make
life secure for the family or for the dying person himself the sense of which
only shows itself later. A woman in an old people's home wanted to visit a
friend. She canceled her meals, said good-bye to
everyone in the home, and asked the caretaker to repair a lamp in her room
while she was away. No one noticed that no taxi arrived to collect her. When
the caretaker had repaired the lamp the next day and was about to leave the flat,
he got a feeling that something was not right in the bathroom. He opened the
door and saw the dead woman lying there. Here, we see quite clearly a woman
unknowingly seeking solitude to die unobtrusively - also making sure that she
will be found.
A physician had an incurable disease for a long time. He continued his
medical practice in his flat, though with some effort, feeling responsible for
his patients. Shortly before his death, he went into his consulting room where
he sat quietly at his desk for some time; he then went to his wife and
children, looking at them long and hard before withdrawing to his waiting room
where he sat down in a chair and died. Saying goodbye to something that meant
much is a common element in the gesture of dying, especially the deep gaze, as
though to take it in once more, lest one forget.
Of course, people are not usually aware of this individual gesture of
dying, and we only perceive it in looking back. Characteristically, those who
are left behind will hardly note these images or forget them, only realizing
their significance when death has ensued. This applies particularly to acts
that are like symbols of making farewells, a few hours before his death, a man
who had had many appointments in his life and had to organize his time most
carefully, took off the watch he had so often looked at. A member of the family
reached out quickly to prevent it falling to the floor and put it on the table.
When the room was tidied after the man died, the watch was seen lying there. Suddenly
it became clear that the symbolic gesture intended to say: time has come to an
end - no more appointments.
Acts such as these, indicating a farewell to life, may sometimes be
observed quite a long time before death. For many years my father and I had
given lecture courses during the summer holidays. I was only there for some of
the time when my father was lecturing, leaving early to go on holiday. Planning
the program for the following year, my father unexpectedly and for no apparent
reason asked: "Will you be there the whole time?" Taken aback, I felt
for a moment that there was more behind those words than appeared. I planned a
shorter holiday but forgot those words again. The next year, my father had a
stroke the day after his first lecture. The 86-year-old, fit and active until
then, went down rapidly and died within a few months. It was only after he had
his stroke that I remembered his earlier words.
In the encounter with people who will soon be dying one often has
extraordinary premonitions of death. I remember visiting a friend. We said
good-bye at the door of his flat, and as I walked down the stairs I suddenly
asked myself: could this have been our last parting? I rejected the idea
immediately, for neither of us was old, and we were both fit. I did not think
of the situation again until the news of his sudden and unexpected death
reached me a few days later.
When the threshold of death is nearing people often feel the need to
speak of death and what comes after it. They will sometimes initiate the
subject themselves, perhaps in very general terms. We always feel our way at
first, to see if the other person is ready to talk about the subject. We also
know very well whom we can talk to and whom not. We may feel we'd rather leave
it to someone else, who may know better how to handle it if we are thus
approached, but we must not evade it for it is addressed to us. Someone who is
close to death is not usually looking for new knowledge concerning death but
for assurance concerning something he has "known" for a long time. Of
course, we really only know things from direct experience. We shall only know
death for what it is when it reaches out for us. Then, however, it will no
longer be a question of knowing about death, but of knowing its reality. The
latest scientific discoveries will, therefore, be of little use to a dying
person, he does not need expert opinions but what the person he has asked truly
believes. We are addressed as human beings here, not as people with special
knowledge.
The question concerning death is often not put in words but asked with
the eyes. We enter the room of someone who is dying and become aware of an
expectant look. Will you also say: "You'll be all right", which is
what my physician, my colleague and my niece have said, or will you admit to
something you know, something I also know? Are you going to chat, to meet your
own need, or will you talk to me, the person I am now? Not only old people may
look for such openness, but children, too. Someone who has been touched by approaching
death no longer needs to be diverted, entertained, the daily routine; he is
asking about something that really matters.
People who have as yet no awareness of the approaching threshold, even
though close to death, usually also have no desire to talk about death. The
thought of what is to come is then not truth to set them free but an alien
power that may even destroy their last vital resources. It does not matter at
all if that person has said at some earlier time that he would want to know when
the end was coming, wanting to die in full conscious awareness. The thought of
distant death and the reality of approaching death are two very different
things.
Letting go of life
A man of advanced age who had been expected to die any moment for two
weeks, was taking difficult breaths; it was as though he was already far away
from his body. A member of the family sitting beside him and holding his hand
addressed him by name. The dying man was all there again at that moment,
turning his eyes to those he was leaving behind - eyes from which spoke
profound knowledge of the world after death - and he closed his eyes forever.
Destiny is favoring someone by enabling them to die
like this. To lay the body aside in full conscious awareness, inwardly
accepting the end of life on earth and turning to a new world.
A woman of advanced age who had already got in step with the world on
the other side of the threshold was able to say calmly and as a matter of fact,
as though to reaffirm the facts for herself: "Now I die“. In her last hour
her thoughts went once more to what had been the essence of her life.
For many who die peacefully it is nevertheless important to hold the
hand of someone near to them. Often with quite unexpected strength. For the
moment the body slips away from the dying individual he feels himself to be
above an abyss that separates him from the world after death. At that moment
the clasp of a hand is a kind of substitute for living experience of one's own
body which had given experience of self until now. Holding the hand of a dying
person is often the last act of love we can perform for them. For those of us
who remain behind, it is a tangible experience of the reality of death.
People find it easier to let go of life if they feel it has been fulfilled.
It is, therefore, a help for the dying to be told once more what they have
meant to others. Fulsome phrases won't serve the purpose, but a simple
thank-you does. People often will not have achieved what they had originally
thought life should be. It is all the more important then to be assured that
much has been achieved that may not have been originally intended, life simply
demanding that it be done. Many a task has remained half done, and it is a
relief to know that others will take it on. This applies above all to a dying
mother who is concerned for her children's future. A single sentence making
things clear can mean a great deal to her.
Those who are close to death will sometimes be afraid that people will
forget them. This is not as surprising as it may seem at first. For as the
physical body increasingly becomes less significant for experience of self,
memory content and, therefore, being remembered by others gains in importance.
The reassuring words, "We'll never forget you, gran",
do not help much when death is near. Only experiences of reality will serve.
Someone about to die knows whether and how the family has so far remembered
others who have gone before, on the day of their death, at the grave or in
daily conversation. This, we hope, makes the dying individual feel sure that
he, too, will be one of those remembered. The "month of the dead" was
an old tradition; it came in the Fall in some countries and in Winter in
others. People believed or felt that the dead took part in the life of those
left behind during those weeks. Some would set a place at table for them, and
care would be taken to avoid noise, lest they be frightened. Thrashing of grain
and the big family wash day would have to wait until the dead had returned to
their own world. In the Swedish calendar, 12 January was called the "day
of the angels' departure" well into this century, the "angels"
being the dead who had visited their old abode from 13 December.
It is advisable to put down in writing at an early stage who should have
the few things with which one has a special inner connection such a piece of jewelry, the handsome vase that was a wedding present, the
family Bible, etc. after one's death. Objects that are not really general goods
and chattels but like a piece of oneself can become something of a bridge when
those who are left behind and to whom they have been given pick them up.
Knowledge of such provisions can give a feeling of security when words no
longer have much effect. The dying individual likes to think of being
remembered in very real terms.
A key element in letting go of the body is the question: has life been
fulfilled? We might say that every human being has the arc of his life span as
part of himself, and some are sensitively aware of this. Younger people in
particular will often have a sense for whether they are going to grow old or
die young. This deep-down knowledge may emerge clearly at special movements.
The German poet, Ernst Amdt, was asked by a friend if
he had considered his age when he started on a major project at age 86. Amdt told him of a dream he had had 20 years earlier.
Walking through a cemetery he had seen his grave stone. It did not give the
date of death but clearly stated "at the age of 91“. He therefore said he
had another 5 years to go, and this proved to be true.
You would think that someone dying at the age of 91 would have satisfied
his longing for life on earth to the full. That may be so. Quite a few people,
however, will say as death approaches: "Surely that can't be it. I had imagined
life to be something else“. Or: "I have not really lived my life“. This
does not mean they have not enjoyed life to the full. A life may have been hard
and yet the individual may feel it was his very own. People may have lived only
for others and yet, or perhaps exactly because of this, feel their own life to
have been truly fulfilled.
What about those who die young? Can a life be meaningful and fulfilled
if it ends in childhood or youth? Looking back, one will often find that such
individuals had a real hunger for experiences, as if they "knew" that
they had not much time on this earth. Sometimes a strange melancholy clouds
such children's experience of the world, or their remarkably active will
matures. I remember a pupil of mine who died a violent death before reaching
the age of 14. She had a mature, serious facial expression through which a
bright pleasure in life would also show again and again. After the long
holidays she always made one big effort and quickly caught up in any subject
where she was weak; this was done with a persistence one normally would expect
to see only in an adult who is really working on herself. We might say that, in
her case, biographic elements that normally come later in life appeared in
childhood. She lived life in condensed form.
When life has been fulfilled and death is part of destiny, is there any
justification in medical intervention - using all means at our disposal? Every
human being has the right to live and to shape his own life. Does he not also have
the right to die? This question often leads to demands that incurably sick or
extremely old people should be given the freedom to choose active assistance
with death, that is, an injection that will quickly and painlessly terminate
life. People who think like this fail to consider how easily seriously ill or
very old people's will to live is influenced by others around them. Many simply
no longer want to live because they feel they are a burden to others. If
justification should ever be found for the termination of unwanted life this
would open the floodgates, undermining respect for life altogether. It will
then be necessary for governments to establish "objective" standards
for the value of a life. We know this has happened before. It is a complete illusion
to think people who are in such borderline situations can freely decide for
life or death, quite apart from the question of whether we actually have the
right to decide. It would be brutal to make someone who is discouraged,
hopeless, isolated and despairing make the decision over life or death. It
would be a mockery of freedom and self-determination, not respect. The lethal
injection would deprive the person of the individual gesture of dying; death
would not be his own but something imposed by the will of the family,
physicians, or another.
A totally different question is whether life should be maintained at all
costs. A physician is obliged to do everything in his power for his patients,
including those terminally ill, and it is right to call him to account if he
fails to meet his obligations for the patient is the weaker one in this case,
is at his mercy, and has to be protected. The question is, what does
"everything" in his power mean? Knowing that he may be called to
account, the physician must secure himself. Because of this, means are
sometimes used which the physician really no longer considers appropriate, not
in the patient's interest, but to meet legal requirements. This is not
individual, and cannot be so, but takes account of general regulations in
clinical medicine. The doctor-patient relationship is, however, a personal one,
or should be. As a patient, I claim the right to chose my own physician and the
medical approach he uses. The more effective and real the relationship, the
greater the individual and therefore human nature of healing - and of dying.
The more sophisticated medical technology becomes, the more sensitive must we
be to the individual character of disease and of dying. Medicine clearly needs
reform in this respect, and this calls for initiative not only from physicians
but also from patients.
Is it intervention in destiny to extend life with an organ transplant?
Undoubtedly. This applies even to blood transfusions. It is also destiny to
live in the 21th Century when such aid is available.
When people such as Jehovah's Witnesses refuse a blood transfusion and prefer
to face death instead, this is a personal decision and physicians usually
respect it. The problem is that the decision is made in advance, the person
concerned (understandably) wanting to make sure his wishes are met even when he
is no longer able to decide for himself. It is a decision one does not like to
leave to others because it is so very important. Yet in the face of death the
situation often looks very different and it may be that a completely different
decision is made (not only from fear). If there is a possibility of being
unable to decide at a later point, it is generally advisable to ask someone one
trusts - his physician or perhaps a member of the family - to take the
responsibility. It is far from easy to be involved in deciding on the life or
death of someone close to you, but it is one of the responsibilities one has to
accept.
What is the situation regarding resuscitation? It is justifiable to fetch
someone back across the threshold of death? Isn't it that a decision has been
made which the family has to accept, however hard this may be? Looking at the
life people have had after resuscitation, one finds again and again that it
held important elements which one would not like to see missing from the
biography, and that these people really wanted to live, to work on themselves
and on the world, something only made possible by the difficult intervention by
the physician.
An extreme example is the following. I knew a child who had been in a
coma for nine months after a road accident. The child had been clinically dead
and resuscitated ten times. When I was told this before seeing the child I
thought: surely this child wanted to die and has been prevented from doing so.
Yet the impression I gained from observing the child at play was different. The
child was still somewhat hesitant and, indeed, clumsy in its movements, but had
a marked will to be creative in its play. It was actively making itself part of
the world. Seeing this, I have become very cautious in saying that even
repeated clinical death is a definite statement on the part of the human I that
it wants to leave the earthly world.
Another child was taken to hospital after an accident. The physician
later said to the parents: "The injuries were severe but need not have
been fatal. The child did not give us time, however“. These words, spoken by a
sensitive individual, show that the child wanted to depart and did not want
treatment. Considering the circumstances attending the accident, it is
remarkable that the mother, who always took such great care, was not on the
spot at just that moment but was as if tied to her housework, which created the
space for the accident to happen. Even during her pregnancy the mother had had
a strong feeling that this child would need special care and attention. Talking
to her, one felt she had had a premonition of the child's early death.
With children who have died, one often has the impression that they have
taken the world in deeply and intensely. Looking back one gets the feeling that
the purpose of this life had been to experience the world with great intensity.
Other children's fates cannot be understood at all unless one looks at their
environment. They may have been quiet, perhaps attracting no particular
attention, but achieved much with their short life and their death. They
transformed the people among whom they lived. Close observation may show that
these children remain close to their families, that they are waiting. If their
families do not drown themselves in pain but let the pain be a gate opening up
to deeper insight into the world, the dead children are happy, for their
waiting has not been in vain. Their life gains meaning after death.
Death may come early or late, suddenly or after long preparation, due to
illness or accident, but it may be that "the time has come". Looking
back on the last weeks or months of a life that ended unexpectedly you often
recall words or acts that clearly announced the coming departure, though this
was not understood at the time. One often finds that important affairs are put
in order or a relationship put to rights. Often a word is said, quite casually,
that will only later prove vital in understanding that individual's life. The
interesting thing is that such words and acts will effortlessly come to mind
after the individual's death and then appear highly significant. It seems
incredible that no note was taken of them at the time, for seen in retrospect
they are so obvious.
Clearly, death does not always come when a life span has reached
completion, and "the time has come“. An early Christian prayer carved over
the gate to the city of Miletus addressed seven archangels, asking them to
protect the city and its inhabitants from an "untimely death" - not
death as such for that is part of human existence, and even angels cannot
change this. However, they may be able to
avert a danger when life has not yet run its course.
It is quite unthinkable that millions of people actually sought an early
and violent death in concentration camps or from starvation. As 20th
Century people we cannot reject our share of responsibility
that easily. Those terrible events show that human beings can powerfully
intervene in destiny, both their own and that of others. Human beings depend on
one another today across all borders.
The individual is more and more becoming a member of the human race, and
this determines destiny in a way that goes beyond the intention brought with us
at birth.
People who feel their life has run its course often feel that others are
waiting for them beyond the threshold of death. They may speak frequently of
long-dead friends. This is entirely natural in the old,
for they often live more intensely in their memories than in the here
and now. Their memories are an important affirmation of self for them when the
capacities grow less. Relationships with the living may become fewer, and those
to the dead grow more important and real.
Living one's memories may condense to a feeling that some of the dead
are expecting one. There is a popular tradition that someone who has recently
died draws someone who has been close after him. Married people often follow
each other quickly. But the simpler and more obvious explanation for this is
probably that the one left behind has lost a major purpose in life and may,
indeed, long for death, and this loosens the bonds with life on earth. This is
not what we are speaking of, however. We are concerned with people who died
long ago and come back to mind again as the individual approaches the threshold
of death.
When the dead actually "appear in person" to the inner eye,
how can we tell if these are memory pictures or a present encounter? Memory
pictures take us back into a familiar world, perhaps our childhood or youth.
Being thus familiar, they give security, self-affirmation and orientation in a
world that may have grown alien. Old people are, above all, happy in their
memories. Images reflecting a present encounter with the dead almost always
come as a surprise. The dead do not look the way one last knew them but have
changed, usually being younger and inwardly illumined. People who speak of such
experiences are often unable to say what clothes the dead person wore, even if
they have had him clearly before the inner eye for a long time. The question
is, what made them recognize him? This is the wrong question to ask, for in a
real encounter we do not recognize the dead by something (which is the case
with memories), but we know inwardly who it is. Similarly, we may wake still
hearing words we know for sure were spoken by someone dead, perhaps even
knowing exactly who it was, though actual sound was not involved. This
certainty is an unmistakable characteristic of present encounters with the dead.
Any doubts as to the reality of the event vanish in the face of that certainty,
just as there is no doubt as to the reality of the event when we perceive
someone clearly with the senses.
In earlier centuries, death was still experienced within a wider context.
In medieval times and the early part of our present age, believers knew they
had come from the hand of God to enter into life on earth and would return to
God on their death. The term "blessed" was used as an attribute in
some languages to indicate that the individual continued to exist and was
experiencing a happier existence, unless he had committed grievous sins. It is
understandable that in recent centuries, when certainty of life after death had
vanished, people wanted to banish the image of death from their lives. This,
however, increased the feeling of death's alien and, indeed, sinister nature.
Death was made into a nothing, and so were the dead. They would, of course, be
remembered and honored; the question is why, since
they no longer existed? Probably because this enabled people to do justice to a
deep, inner knowledge of the reality of the world after death without getting
into conflict with materialistic ways of thinking.
Modern people are more aware again that birth and death are not absolute
boundaries to existence. Wanting to understand their true nature, to express in
thoughts what they know deep down in their hearts, they have to take account in
a new way of the reality of existence before birth and after death, not with
theories or creeds, but from experience. Attention and understanding must be
given not only to the dying individual but also to the dead. It is true,
however, that the further away they go in dying and death, the more subtle and
intimate their observation has to be if it is still to reach them. Fixed habits
of thinking must not impose themselves on observation, and the observer must
grow increasingly still. Active stillness is a faculty of the soul that allows
access to the intimate experiences we have spoken of in this chapter.
If birth and death are no longer absolute boundaries to existence, the
unborn and the dead become real to us. They are part of humanity just as much
as the living are. The living shape the world and carry responsibility today.
But those who are waiting to enter into life have their eye on them. Raphael
showed this in his Sistine Madonna. The clouds behind Mary condense into heads,
into the unborn, whose eyes follow the one who has now found his mother. In the
same way the eyes of the dead are on those who approach the gate of death. To
think in truly human terms we have to include all human beings, those who are
visible and those not visible to the eye.
[Lia Bello]
No one wants to be in pain and this is a major concern at end of life.
Homeopathic remedies will not stupefy or dull the patient, nor will they
constipate the bowels or depress the respiratory rate, as morphine will.
Remedies will not need detoxification by an already overtaxed liver. I have
been very inspired by the efforts of several of the families in my care as they
went through the difficult end times with a dying family member using remedies
to reduce the need for pain meds, sedative and other drugs which have many side
effects. The family I worked with in the Mad Cow Disease case refused further
analgesic drugs (morphine), after seeing their effects (coma like sleep) and
were relieved when their dying father re-awoke from a drugged state and was
able to have one more difficult but conscious and emotionally present day
(using Mag-p. for his pain) with his loved ones
before dying a natural death.
The remedy Mag-p. can be tried for most every
muscular pain, cramp, abdominal pain, and headache. If the person has just had
surgery or an injury then Arnica is needed. A person’s pain may also be reduced
greatly by treating their fear, grief or anxiety.
Of all the remedies known for helping a dying person, Ars. is best known for soothing the fear of death, and is
indicated when there is agitation, restlessness, thirst, great anguish, internal
burning heat with external coldness and desire for warmth. In “A Homœopathic Approach to Cancer”, Dr. A.U. Ramakrishnan, and Catherine R. Coulter write that “Ars. is probably the most often used remedy in cancer
palliation. Patient is extremely restless, tosses and turns in bed, unable to
find a comfortable position, and wants to get up and walk about. He moves from
bed to sofa and back again, from room to room, or paces the room - not finding
relief anywhere. Great exhaustion, weakness, and debility are present. There
are burning pains that are relieved by heat. Nightly aggravations (between
midnight and 4 h.) occur. Often there is a constant thirst or dryness of mouth
that is not quenched by frequent sips of liquid. The patient is critical and
sensitive to disorder around him, and even when extremely ill, still directs
the caretaker what to do. He fears being left alone, fears death, and feels it
is useless to take medicines.”
Dr. Ramakrishnan, devotes a whole chapter in
this book to “Pain Control in the Advanced and Terminal Stages of Cancer” and
outlines indications for 11 pain remedies.
Including Acon. Ars.
Aur-met. (used for bone pains), Cadm-s.
(stomach cancer and after bad effects of chemotherapy), Chel.
(pain of cancer metastasized to the liver), Euph.
[burning pains of cancer (like Ars.) but > from
cold applications] Hydr. Mag-p.
Nux-v., which Dr. Ramakrishnan
says is a good remedy to try when Ars. ceased to
help, Op. and Plb-i.
Robin Murphy’s: Tarent-h. action is similar to
Ars. in many symptoms, therefore when Ars. seems indicated but fails, it is better to give Tarent.” Also Tarantula is to be given “to palliate death
pains and agony”.
Another quote from Kent’s Lectures on Materia Medica, “We may comfort that patient, and restore order at
least temporarily, so that there is freedom from suffering in these malignant
affections.
Most patients that have cancer are really in such a state of disorder
that only a temporary cessation of “hostilities” can be expected; and one who
goes around boasting of the cancer cases he has cured ought to be regarded with
suspicion. Do not dwell upon the cancer, for it is not the cancer but the
patient that you are treating. It is the patient that is sick, and whenever a
patient is sick enough to have a cancer his state of order is too much
disturbed to be cured.”
Relieving nausea and vomiting for a person near end-of-life is
particularly helpful. Nausea is the symptom that the hospice nurses I spoke
with were the most eager to relieve because it is so common for patients to
suffer with it. I suggested that they try Ip. first
when nausea or vomiting occur. I remember one case of an aged woman dying of
diabetic complications who would have bouts of constant nausea and vomiting for
3 days straight, leading to a very debilitated state. Ip.
greatly ease and shorten these episodes and then we used the remedy China for
the weakness she would experience afterwards from the loss of fluids. Another
remedy for nausea in end of life care would be Nux-v.
and to decide which one if you are unsure you would look at the tongue. An
Ipecac tongue is relatively clear and a Nux-v. tongue
is coated and toxic looking
Another remedy to remember in end of life care is Carb-v.,
a great collapse remedy, known for great weakness with bluish lips, icy cold
skin and cool breath. Though they are cold they want a draft of air. Dick Moskowitz writes in his book, Resonance, “With deoxygenation also a cardinal feature of the dying process,
Carb-v. well known as “the corpse reviver” for its
power to prolong life in terminally ill patients sufficiently for wills,
farewells, and other last arrangements to be made..”
A homeopathic nurse colleague who has seen much of these kind of cases
in the hospital suggested that Calc. might help those very sick people who are
putting out lots of perspiration, the medical term for this symptom is
diaphoresis and happens when one is in shock or having a medical
emergency. This is a situation where one
of our slow acting polycrests can be used even in
urgent care.
“Breathing at end of life can become shallow and quickened, or slow and labored. The person may make gurgling sounds, sometimes
referred to as the “death rattle.” These sounds are due to the pooling of
secretions and an inability to cough them up. The air passing through the mucus
causes this sound. The breathing pattern most disturbing to those present,
called Cheyne-Stokes breathing, is marked by periods
of no breathing at all followed by deeper and more frequent respirations. These
respirations are common and result from decreased oxygen supply to the vital
organs and a build-up of waste products in the body. This condition is not
uncomfortable or painful for the dying person, although it may be unsettling to
observe. The “death rattle” or Cheyne-Stokes
breathing indicates that death is near.” If the person seems to be having labored breathing, is wheezing or having asthmatic symptoms
or burning pains, Ars. usually helps. Ars. also known to help the anxiety around not being able
to get
a good breath. When secretions
build up and create rattling in the chest, Ant-t. the main remedy (the person
is very weak and becoming unresponsive).
Kents Lectures gives us info on this situation and a
remedy differential as follows. Kent wrote, “If you have ever been in the room
of the dying you have heard what is called the death rattle. It is coarse like
that. Now and then there is expectoration of a mouthful of light-colored, whitish mucus. The condition is one in which the
chest is steadily filling up with mucus, and at first he may be able to throw
it out; but finally he is suffocating from the filling up of mucus and the
inability of the chest and lungs to throw it out. It is a paralytic condition
of the lungs. The first few days of the sickness will not point to Ant-t. So
long as the reaction is good and his strength holds up you will not see this hippocratic countenance, sinking, and coldness and cold
sweat. You will not hear this rattling in the chest, because these symptoms are
symptoms that indicate a passive condition. Ant-t. has weakness and lack of
reaction. Hence we see that it is suitable in those cases that present this
state, or in such patients as are so feeble, when they are taken down, that
they at once enter upon a passive or relaxed state. In cases of bronchitis with
pneumonia, inflammation of the trachea, inflammation of the air passages in
general,
the inflammation is likely to be attended with dryness or a scanty flow
of mucus. If this be violent in a few days it will reach a state of relaxation
and weakness. But the first state does not indicate Ant-t.
1st Bry. and Ip.
come in for the first period…except in those states wherein this weakness is
present from the beginning, or where there is lack of ability to react sufficiently
from your remedy to recovery under it.
2nd Ant-t. begins its operation. Ip.
has some of this coarse rattling, but it is attended with great expulsive power
of the lungs. Ant-t. has the coarse rattling that comes after many days. Ant-t.
has the coughing and gagging and retching, but in the stage of great
relaxation, prostration and coldness. It seems as if he will die. When you hear
him cough you are at once impressed with the idea that there must be some
profound weakness in his lung power. We know that it is in the power of the
lungs to produce an expulsive action with the deep inspirations. They have no
such power in Ant-t. The chest is full of mucus and it rattles; the cough is a
rattling cough, but the mucus does not come up, or only a small quantity comes
up, but it does not relieve him. His chest is full of mucus, he is suffocating
and he is really passing away, dying from carbonic acid poisoning due to a lack
of expulsive power.”
Choudhuri’s Studies of MM that said “Solaninum vies with Ant-t. in respiratory paralysis. We
have great accumulation of mucus in the larger air passages causing a regular
rattling during inspiration.
Hence like Ant. tart, Solaninum should be
particularly thought of in the death rattle of patients, which condition it removes
most marvelously by enabling the patient to expel the
obstructing phlegm”
Our job at this time when a dying person has difficulty breathing is to
speak gently and lovingly, and use gentle reassuring touch to ease fear. Do not
panic. This can increase any fear that
may already be present for the dying person.
It is possible and beneficial to enhance the emotional balance of the
dying person AND their loved ones as they go through the stresses and stages of
grief surrounding death. If acute fear
and panic occur, with or without the well known symptom “predicts the time of
death” please give this person Acon. - repeating the
dose as often as every 10 minutes to relieve his fearful feelings. In my
experience, Acon. is the best remedy when a fearful
panic has gripped the body and mind and the heart is racing, and the mind can
not relax itself away from the distressing thought pattern. They may have a look of fear in their eyes or
be so tense that it is noticeable in their appearance.
Taking the cell-salt, Kali-p. 6x, which is known to be a tonic for the
nervous system, may help caregivers who feel tense, stressed and overwhelmed.
One out of three of the people in my practice that try this can feel a clear
response - like muscles relaxing and stress releasing! I have people take them
often—like 4-6x daily in a 6x potency and they get physical as well as mental
stress relief.
I call Kali-p. “Homeopathic Valium”.
[Lia Bello]
Insomnia can be helped by Coffea, for
alertness when it is time for sleep because they are wired and upset. Hylands combination
remedies Calms and Calms Forte are very helpful, also. Ars.
helps those who can not sleep due to worry and fear and Ignatia
helps a grieving person sleep.
I use flower essence formulas to help any who need emotional balancing
and I find that a well chosen customized flower essence formula can make a big
difference in whether stresses will be overwhelming or not. I use Bach Flower
Remedies, Australian Bush Flower Essences and North American Flower Essences as
I search for the right combination based on the current emotional outlook of
the person.
Rescue Remedy: perfect for upset patients and their loved ones. Covers the panic, hopelessness, grief, trauma
and shock. Can be used anytime by upsetting symptoms—pain, agitation, fear,
sleep troubles.
We all end up facing the loss of a loved one at some point in our lives.
Some losses come suddenly and shockingly; others may be expected, for example
at the end of a long illness. But in either instance, the feelings of grief and
sorrow can be just as strong. “The
consequences of grief and sorrow, if long continued, are worse than those of
other affections …” wrote Constantine Hering who
lived from1800—1880 in The Homeopathic Domestic Physician. Hering,
one of homeopathy’s greatest practitioners, recognized that grief and sorrow
are powerful emotions that can affect the physical and psychological health of
any person. When the grief of the situation starts to overwhelm, homeopathic
remedies can bring healing for the dying person as well as their loved ones.
Ign. used during the acute, initial phase of grief immediately before
and after death. Ign. called the “funeral remedy” and is the number one remedy
for acute grief. The sooner it is given,
the better—not to suppress the grief but to allow for better coping and
avoiding consequences of prolonged grief on the body and mind. The intense
grief of Ignatia can bring spasmodic weeping, sadness
that is inconsolable and despairing, and contradictory feelings like acute
rage. A silent grief, suffered inwardly, needs Ignatia
also, and symptoms frequently include a lump in the throat. Ignatia
assists grief-stricken people and even a home prescriber can successfully use
it to help someone through this distressing time. The effects of cumulative loss are known to
be especially trying, when spouse, family and friends are lost and loneliness
takes over. Cocculus
is known to help those who have been care takers of the sick and now have grief
and health problems. Phosphoric Acidum is for grief
when there is very low energy and debility of the nervous system. Mainstream
medicine freely gives hospice patients and any family member who is grieving
anti-depressants, sedatives and more even though they may not have time to get
the full effect since time is short. and this is why I wish that everyone knew
about how Ignatia and these other remedies could
help.
Homeopathy can be applied when our pets are dying also. When animals are dying all of this info can
be extrapolated over to our furry friends and can soothe the end-of-life time
for animal and master. Animals can respond well to remedies and Flower
Essences.
Hospice can be for animals too!
In my research I found quite a few pet hospices were in existence.
Angel’s Gate, whose Founder Susan Marino’s vision was to create a place where
animals who had no place to go because of their special needs, would be cared
for, wanted and loved, created this animal hospice in Long Island, NY.Here, animals come to live out their days in peace,
dignity and love. Their focus is on wellness and quality of life. They provide
for the physical, emotional and spiritual needs of each animal, a holistic
approach in animal care, giving all needed supportive services including
hospice.
Many people have strong feelings about the kind of medical care they
would like to receive or refuse in certain circumstances. A new book that came
out last year is called Last Rights:
Rescuing the End of Life From the Medical System by Stephen Kiernan. He
writes, “This country is fairly crowded with doctors, families, and
patients–all possessed of good intentions–failing to achieve the simple goal of
allowing people to die with dignity and grace. In “Last Rights,” Stephen
Kiernan reveals the disconnect between how patients want to live the end of
life–pain free, functioning mentally and physically, surrounded by family and
friends–and how the medical system continues to treat the dying–with extreme
interventions, at immense cost, and with little regard to pain, human comforts,
or even the stated wishes of patients and families. Backed with surveys,
interviews, and intimate portraits of people from all walks of life, from the
dying and their families to the doctors and nurses who care for them, this book
is, for our time, what Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s books
were for a previous generation. In this book the author tells the story of his
fathers 28 days in intensive care undergoing increasingly invasive, costly and
ultimately futile medical care, and compares it with the much more dignified
death of his mother in her home four years later.
Some states are strengthening their laws on advance directives, to
enable citizens to decide beforehand the level of medical intervention they
wish to receive. A document called an advance
directive allows you to clearly state your feelings. There is a surge of
interest in living wills and advance directives, which are formal documents
that spell a person’s desires for treatment. Through these means, patients may
now declare the extent to which treatment should be pursued in the attempt to
restore them to health or keep them alive. Based on the patient’s advanced
directive, life-sustaining technology may be withheld or withdrawn so that the
disease may take its course. A durable power of attorney for health care allows
you to name a “patient advocate” to act for you and carry out your wishes.
Perhaps those of us in the homeopathic community should add homeopathic
treatment clauses to our living wills and advance directives to ensure that
this type of treatment will be available to us.
Vorwort/Suchen Zeichen/Abkürzungen Impressum